2014年高考英語短文寫作分析

王幼平++馮建國

【真題呈現(xiàn)】

請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下提示，并結(jié)合具體事例，用英語寫一篇短文。

Small things make a big difference. The small things we do can make us a responsible member of the society.

注意：①無須寫標(biāo)題；②除詩歌外，文體不限；③內(nèi)容必須結(jié)合你生活中的具體事例；④文中不得透漏個(gè)人姓名和學(xué)校名稱； ⑤詞數(shù)不少于120，如引用提示語則不計(jì)入總次數(shù)。

【審題謀篇】

提示語意為：小事情有大的影響，我們所做的小事情能使我們成為這個(gè)社會(huì)中有責(zé)任感的一員。提示語的落腳點(diǎn)在第二句話，因此我們要把小事情和社會(huì)責(zé)任感這兩個(gè)點(diǎn)有機(jī)結(jié)合起來。一個(gè)人的社會(huì)責(zé)任也許并不起眼，一件事情上體現(xiàn)的社會(huì)責(zé)任也許并不驚天動(dòng)地。但是，無數(shù)人擔(dān)負(fù)共同的社會(huì)責(zé)任，無數(shù)小事情上匯集的社會(huì)責(zé)任舉動(dòng)，就能形成推動(dòng)社會(huì)進(jìn)步的巨大力量。在日常生活中，我們會(huì)遇到很多小事情，比如在災(zāi)難面前伸出援助之手，參加志愿者活動(dòng)，節(jié)約水電，保護(hù)環(huán)境等，都能體現(xiàn)出我們的責(zé)任意識(shí)。因此，從我做起，從小事做起，盡到自己的社會(huì)責(zé)任是這篇文章的立意所在。

對(duì)于這種話題作文，我們依然采取引題、記敘、總結(jié)的三段式。把握了立意后，就可以謀篇布局了。第一段提出話題；第二段例舉自己生活中遇到的一件體現(xiàn)自己社會(huì)責(zé)任感的小事；第三段寫這個(gè)經(jīng)歷給自己的體會(huì)和啟示，再次點(diǎn)明主題，首尾呼應(yīng)。

習(xí)作一

As is known to us all， small things can make a big difference. In our daily life， even if the things we do are very small， we still can make us a responsible member of the society.

For example， one weekend， our teachers took us to a park where we were about to plant trees. With the help of our teachers， everyone at least planted one tree. Some enthusiastic students planted more. Every one of us was really happy to do something for our society. In the meanwhile， we were confident that there would be a forest in the park many years later. Last week， I went to the park. Those trees we planted ten years ago have been taller than I. What a exciting thing！ We do make us a responsible member of the society.

Although we just did a small thing， but it did make a big difference. Dont hesitate to do small thing just because they are small. Do it， and you will see the big change you make. Let us be a responsible member of the society.

點(diǎn)評(píng) 這是一篇中檔習(xí)作。其優(yōu)點(diǎn)是：

1.內(nèi)容切題，語言表達(dá)清楚流暢。

2.運(yùn)用了一些好的短語。如be about to， with the help of， in the meanwhile， hesitate to do sth.

3.運(yùn)用了一些高級(jí)句式。如非限制性定語從句As is known to all，…；讓步狀語從句even if the things we do are very small， …；