篇章模式視角下的高中英語概要寫作探究（二）

吳俊峰

概要寫作，是一種控制性的作文形式，要求閱讀者在忠于原文的前提下，用自己簡潔、精練的語言來概括文章的主旨與主要內容。概要寫作評分標準要求：1.對原文要點的理解和呈現(xiàn)情況;2.應用語法結構和詞匯的準確性;3.上下文的連貫性;4.對各要點表達的獨立性。基于此標準，完成一篇概要寫作需要重視語篇結構的解讀分析，從語篇的體裁、結構入手去解讀和架構概要篇章;從段際、句際、句內的邏輯關系去解讀和建構語篇內含的銜接連貫。

本文延續(xù)上期的“正反議論模式”（編者注：發(fā)表于本刊2019年1·2期），進一步通過講練結合的形式談談概要寫作四種常見篇章模式中的“先破后立模式”和五個科學步驟。

一、先破后立模式

主要特點：先破后立模式的文章結構很適合寫爭議性觀點的文章，通常論證與自己相反的觀點的錯誤性，自然地引出自己的觀點，然后對自己的觀點加以論證。先破再立，破中有立，辯證統(tǒng)一，在批駁錯誤論點的同時，闡明了自己的主張。該模式體現(xiàn)了批判性思維的運用，要對準靶子，抓住要害，注意分寸。

基本結構：1.提出某問題;2.討論相關觀點;3.駁斥已有觀點誤區(qū);4.提出新主張。

常用句式：

1.raise a storm of debates ?引發(fā)一場辯論風暴

2.a controversial issue ?有爭議性的問題

3.be supported by sound reasons ?有充分的理由支持

4.Recently， …h(huán)ave caused much controversy.

最近……引發(fā)了廣泛的爭議。

5.The… is a hard evidence to demonstrate that…

……是一個確鑿的證據(jù)，表明……

6.There is a striking difference between them.

它們之間存在顯著的不同。

7.Thats not the case. / The truth is quite otherwise.

事實并非如此。/真相與此大相徑庭。

8.The latest findings suggest otherwise. / challenge the long-held opinion that…

最新研究發(fā)現(xiàn)結果恰恰相反。/質疑了長期以來一直秉持的觀點……

9.Some people believe / hold that… ，while others argue that…

對于這個問題，不同的人有不同的看法。有些人認為……另一些人主張……

二、真題鏈接（2016年6月杭州高二期末調研考試）

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內容寫一篇60詞左右的內容概要。

How can you start a conversation with an English person？ The answer is quite simple. Many people will tell you that any English conversation begins with The Weather. Such a fixation with the weather finds expression in Dr. Johnsons famous comment that “When two English meet， their first talk is of weather.” Though Johnsons observation is as accurate now as it was over two hundred years ago， most commentators （評論者）fail to come up with a convincing explanation for this English weather-speak.

Bill Bryson， for example， concludes that， as the English weather is not at all exciting， the obsession （癡迷） with it can hardly be understood. He argues that “To an outsider， the most striking thing about the English weather is that there is not very much of it.” Simply， the reason is that the unusual and unpredictable weather is almost unknown in the British Isles.

Jeremy Paxman， however， disagrees with Bryson， arguing that the English weather is by nature attractive. Bryson is wrong， he says， because the English preference for the weather is not about the natural phenomena at all. “The interest is less in the phenomena themselves， but in uncertainty.” According to him， the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain and it attracts the English as well as the outsider.

Bill Bryson and Jeremy Paxman stand for common conception about the weather-speak among the English. Both commentators， somehow， are missing the point. The English weather conversation has nothing to do with the weather. English weather-speak is a system of signs， which is developed to help the speakers overcome the natural reserve and actually talk to each other. Everyone knows conversations starting with weather-speak are not requests for weather data. Rather， they are routine greetings， conversation starters or the blank “fillers”. In other words， English weather-speak is a means of social bonding.

三、寫作步驟

1. 瀏覽全文，抓住短文大意，分析體裁特點

上述真題是說明文，分為四個段落，討論了英國人為何見面時最普遍的話題莫過于談論天氣。第一段首先提出談論天氣成為英國人見面的主要話題方式，但對此現(xiàn)象人們至今未找到令人信服的解釋（提出問題），然后第二、三段從正反兩方面分析多變的天氣本身到底有無強大的吸引力而引起人們談論（分析問題，陳述已有觀點），最后在第四段駁斥了上述兩種觀點誤區(qū)，并提出作者的主張“事實上，對于保守的英國人來說，談論天氣是一種安全不侵犯他人隱私的話題，有助于克服交際障礙，建立最淺層次的友誼鏈接，實現(xiàn)真正的交際溝通”（駁斥已有觀點，提出新主張）。

2. 再次快讀，明確段落主旨，畫出思維導圖

不難看出，第一段提出問題，第二、三段從正反兩方面分析問題，陳述兩種已有觀點，第四段駁斥已有觀點，最終提出作者的主張。其思維導圖如下：

【技巧點撥】要學會畫思維導圖，因為清晰的框架流程有助于保證要點表達的獨立性和完整性，有助于分析各段落間的銜接關系，從而保證上下文的連貫性。

3. 最后細讀，定位概寫要點，畫出關鍵詞句

各段的要點分析如下（下劃雙線的句子為主題句，下劃單線的句子為次要點，加邊框的詞為表示總起、轉折、過渡、總結等功能的連接性詞匯和過渡性詞匯）：

【技巧點撥】連接性詞匯和過渡性詞匯承擔著總起、轉折、過渡、總結等功能，要充分利用文本的語境，把握文章內容遞進的脈絡層次，體會這些詞匯承上啟下的“潤滑劑”作用。結合本文談主題句或要點的標志：

（1）段落中出現(xiàn)轉折時，該句很可能是要點，如第一段Though引出的句子。

（2）作者有意識地重復的觀點通常是要點，如第四段“In other words”引出的句子。

（3）首段出現(xiàn)疑問句時，對該問題的解答通常就是主旨句，如文章開頭第一段“How can you start a conversation with an English person？”引出的主旨句子“any English conversation begins with The Weather”。

（4）段落或篇章主旨的標志詞：therefore， thus，but， however， in short， simply， anyhow， somehow等，如第二、三、四段。

（5）在for example， first， second等之前的句子中，或在all in all， above all 之后的句子中，如第二、三、四段。

4. 轉換表達，整合要點成句，初步連句成篇

（1）整合成句

要點1：將第一段兩個主題句整合成一句，使觀點更明確。此句使用though改為but連詞表明轉折關系;begins with 同義轉換為be initiated with;most commentators fail to…句型轉換為few commentators can;come up with a convincing explanation 詞性轉換為convincingly explain。

文本原句：any English conversation begins with1 The Weather， …Though2 …most commentators fail3 to come up with a convincing explanation4 for this English weather-speak.

轉換表達→English conversation is naturally/inherently initiated with1 the weather topic， but2 few commentators3 can convincingly explain4 the reason for it.

要點2：第二段次要點“Simply， the reason is that the unusual and unpredictable weather is almost unknown”是例子和重復信息，為了簡明扼要，可省略和削減。

文本原句：Bill Bryson， for example， concludes that1， as the English weather is not at all exciting2， the obsession with it can hardly be understood3.

轉換表達→Bill Bryson holds that1 it cant be comprehended3 for the English weather is boring2.

要點3：第三段主題句和次要點 “the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain”可整合成一句。此句使用“l(fā)ie in… ”表達精確簡練;“nature attractive”和“is very changeable and uncertain”分別同義詞性轉換為“attraction”和“uncertainty”。

文本原句：Jeremy Paxman， however， disagrees with Bryson， arguing that1 the English weather is by nature attractive2…. According to him， the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain3 and it attracts the English as well as the outsider.

轉換表達→Jeremy Paxman argues1 that its attraction2 just lies in its uncertainty3.

要點4：第四段主題句和關鍵詞“a means of social bonding”整合成一句。此句使用“not…but… ”句型形成很好的語義連貫。

文本原句：Both commentators， somehow， are missing the point1. The English weather conversation has nothing to do with1 the weather. …h(huán)elp the speakers overcome the natural reserve2 and actually talk to each other3. …English weather-speak is a means of social bonding4.

轉換表達→ the English weather-speak is not about weather itself1， but a way to break social barrier2 and keep social connection4 which makes communication easier3.

（2）連句成篇，形成概要初稿

English conversation is initiated with the weather topic， but few commentators can convincingly explain the reason for it. Bill Bryson holds that it cant be comprehended for the English weather is boring， while Jeremy Paxman argues that its attraction just lies in its uncertainty. The English weather-speak is not about weather itself， but a way to break social barrier and keep social connection which makes communication easier.

5. 優(yōu)化語言，注重全文連貫，謄寫工整規(guī)范

結合該真題文體特點，使用“some… ， while others…”代表兩種對立觀點和“Virtually/Actually”引出事實本質，進行有效銜接。同時注意詞數(shù)要求（60詞），形成概要終稿如下：

English conversation is naturally initiated with the weather topic， but few commentators can convincingly explain the reason for it.【要點1】Some hold that it cant be comprehended for the English weather is boring，【要點2】 while others argue that its attraction just lies in its uncertainty.【要點3】Virtually， the English weather-speak is not about weather itself， but a way to break social barrier and keep social connection which makes communication easier.【要點4】

我們可以將此類“先破后立模式”文章形成以下模式：

Contradictory to / In contrast to the long-held negative impact of 話題， recent studies have indicated/ revealed that sth. incredibly brings us a range of benefits.【要點1】 Above all， more easily shifts you into.【要點2】Additionally， while doing…， chances are that…， which greatly contributes to…. 【要點3】 Ultimately， you are likely to…， thus doing sth.【要點4】

四、實戰(zhàn)演練

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內容寫一篇60詞左右的內容概要。

We might think we know which colors do what. The idea that red wakes us up or blue calms us down is deeply rooted in Western culture. But do they really change our behavior in the ways that we assume？

When it comes to scientific research， the results are mixed and at times contested. Some studies have found that people do better on cognitive tasks when faced with red rather than blue or green; others show the opposite. The idea is that if you repeatedly have a particular experience surrounded by a certain color， then you eventually begin to associate that color with the way you were feeling or behaving. A school career spent reading your teachers red writing circling your mistakes forever makes you link red with danger. Blue meanwhile is more likely to be associated with calmer situations like marveling at a big blue expanse of sky.

Of course there will always be exceptions—the comment from the teacher saying “well done” is also written in red. It is true that people do make different associations with different colors， but whether this translates into behaving in a certain way or succeeding at a particular task is a different question.

In 2009 researchers tried to clarify the situation. They sat their participants at computer screens colored blue， red or “neutral” and tested them on various tasks. With a red screen people did better on tasks requiring attention to detail， but when the screen was blue they did better on creative tasks. In practice this might be tricky.

However， when another team tried to repeat the study with a larger group of people in 2014， the effect of color disappeared. The initial study consisted of just 69 people. In this new， bigger study of 263 volunteers， background color made no difference.

So colors might well have an effect， but so far those effects have been difficult to demonstrate consistently and sometimes dont seem to exist at all.

【參考范文】Weve long believed each color has a specific effect on behavior， but researches show that this effect is complicated and varying with certain habitual experience，【要點1】which helps explain why red deemed negative assessment indicates recognition elsewhere.【要點2】Interestingly， a 2009 finding in favor of color effect was disproved by another experiment based on a larger sample of candidates.【要點3】 So color effect may not exist at all.【要點4】