短文習作：表達觀點類

廖英

試題呈現 2013與2014年《爸爸去哪兒》的大熱引發了人們對于親子話題的關注。其中孩子的教育在古今中外都是一個永恒的話題。英語中有句諺語“Spare the rod， spoil your child.”這句話在漢語中的意思是“孩子不打不成器。”請就此說法，結合生活中的事例，寫一篇不少于120字的文章，談談你對家庭教育的看法。

審題點撥 此試題將時下流行的話題與學生的生活連接在一起，具有很強的時效性和親近感。對于“孩子不打不成器”這一觀點同學們可贊成亦可反對，只要結合具體的事例加以言之有理的論述即可。在具體行文中，同學們可第一段引入話題并直接闡明自己的觀點，第二段結合事例論證觀點，最后一段總結全文并再次重申自己的觀點。行文中一定要確保觀點明確。

習作一

As the saying goes， “Spare the rod， spoil your child.” Most of parents think it is a privilege to punish child， but it is harmful to childrens health. Family education should be given rice to concern.

When I was a child， I was too active to do something terrible. First of all， my mother often talked with me， but I didnt attach importance to it. Then I made the same mistake again. My father was too angry that he punished me severely. I was very sad and crying for a long time. Then I reduse talking with him and didnt eat food to show my resistance. And my parents apologized to me. Then they thought educating child need to talk more with them rather than punishing.

Now I am outstanding and live happy.

這是一篇中檔習作。其優點是：

1. 要點基本齊全，觀點明確，結構清晰。

2. 活學活用了高中階段的一些考綱詞匯，如：privilege， resistance， severely。此外，作者也恰到好處的使用了一些短語，如attach importance to， apologize to sb， be harmful to。

3. 善于運用邏輯銜接詞過渡。如：as the saying goes， first of all， then。

不足之處有：

1. 個別單詞、短語拼寫或表達有誤。如Then I reduse talking with him可改為I was reluctant to talk with him。同樣，should be given rice to concern應改為should be given proper concern。I was too active to do something terrible中too... to...表示“太……而不能……”，應改為I was so active and naughty that I always did something terrible.

2. 個別邏輯詞選用不當。first of all多用在表達觀點而非陳述事情的發展的順序上，可改成at first。then出現了三次，有重復之嫌，可換成其他遞進詞，如later， gradually， next等，讓表達更富多樣性。

3. 最后一段的內容有待充實。可添加一些語句以強調父母教育方式改變給自己帶來的重要影響，如Thanks to their shift of education methods and their awareness of the importance of communication， now I am outstanding and live a happy life.

習作二

Most people who reach the peak of their careers are well-educated by parents. The family education is a decisive factor for success， which can help children know the world more appropriately. As for the saying， “Spare the rod， spoil your child.” I do approve of this conventional view to some degree. Strict family education is of great importance to pave the way for a childs growth and success.

When it comes to strict family education， a distinguished musician—Lang Langs story vividly stand out in my memory. His parents being very strict， he just had to practice playing the piano from day to night. Not only could he spare no time for his other hobbies， but also he couldnt get a long rest utterly. After having adjusted to those unbelievable harsh rules， his efforts gradually began to bear fruits. With a chance of performance captured by him， his talent is ultimately recognized. So remarkable is his work that everyone just shows great respect to him. He owes his great achievement to his parents education. Though it might seem to be out of place， it turned out to take effect for him.

Overall， we cant ignore the importance of strict family education. There being twists and turns in life， we must let children know it.

這是一篇高檔習作，屬于正方觀點。其優點是：

1. 此文結構清晰，首尾呼應，觀點明確。