群山回唱

And the Mountains Echoed

“走出對與錯的觀念/有一片田野/我將與你在那兒相會。”

這是一個關于謊言與選擇、犧牲與成全的故事。戰爭、貧窮以及凜冽寒冬造成了一對兄妹數十載的相離。與《追風箏的人》和《燦爛千陽》中描繪的戰爭悲劇不同，《群山回唱》更多地講述了那些逃離故土的移民者的失落與鄉愁。故事以阿富汗為起點，跨越了美國、希臘和巴黎等地。那些遠走的人，與留下的人，在時空兩端遙遙相望。等到有一天終于重逢，歲月或輕輕抹去心中的模樣：就像60年后他鄉重逢的兄長最終再認不得站在自己面前心心念念的妹妹；或只將青絲換白發，不改舊顏：一如少時離家的少年終于歸家而親安在。中間穿插多少悲歡離合，承載多少笑顏淚水。然不管前事如何，幸而我與你最后相會。

作者卡勒德·胡賽尼（Khaled Hosseini，1965-）這樣說道：“拋開了家庭這條線索，你幾乎無法理解自己，無法理解周圍的人，無法弄明白整個世界中自己的位置。”親情可能是這世上最易得亦最難得的羈絆了。它深入血脈，如影隨形。你知道，不管走得多遠，只要回頭，就還有家，還有老母親在那兒微笑著朝你望來。她既不抱怨生活艱辛，也不多言老來病痛，她只擔心離開的你在外面過得不好。她不怕什么，只怕成為你的負擔。所以她原諒你在所有圓滿團圓時刻的缺席，她原諒你離開。

“Is that yours， Mamá？” I point to a cane leaning against the wall behind the new armchair. I hadn’t noticed it when I had first come in.

“Oh， I hardly use it. Just for bad days. And for long walks. Even then， mostly for peace of mind，” she says too 1）dismissively， which is how I know she relies on it far more than she 2）lets on. “It’s you I worry for. The news from that awful country. 3）Thalia doesn’t want me listening to it. She says it will 4）agitate me.”

“We do have our incidents，” I say， “but mostly it’s just people 5）going about their lives. And I’m always careful， Mamá.” Of course I neglect to tell her about the shooting at the guesthouse across the street or the recent surge in attacks on foreign-aid workers， or that by careful I mean I have taken to carrying a 9mm when I am out driving around the city， which I probably shouldn’t be doing in the first place.

Mamá takes a sip of coffee， 6）winces a bit. She doesn’t push me. I am not sure whether this is a good thing. Not sure whether she has 7）drifted off， 8）descended into herself as old people do， or whether it is a 9）tactic to not 10）corner me into lying or disclosing things that would only upset her.

“We missed you at Christmas，” she says.

“I couldn’t get away， Mamá.”

She nods. “You’re here now. That’s what matters.”

I take a sip of my coffee.

“You know， Mamá， I worry for you too.”

“No need to. I take care of myself all right.” A flash of the old 11）defiant pride， like a dim 12）glint in the fog.

“But for how long？”

“As long as I can.”

“And when you can’t， then what？” I’m not challenging her. I ask because I don’t know. I don’t know what my own role will be or whether I will even play one.

She levels her gaze at me evenly. Then she adds a teaspoon of sugar to her cup， slowly stirs it in.“It’s a funny thing， Markos， most people have it backwards. They think they live by what they want. But really what guides them is what they’re afraid of. And what they don’t want.”

“I don’t follow， Mamá.”

“Well， take you， for instance. Leaving here. The life you have made for yourself. You were afraid to be 13）confined here. With me. You were afraid I would hold you back.”

I watch her taste her coffee， pour in another spoonful of sugar. I remember how 14）out of my depth I’d always felt as a boy trying to argue with her. She spoke in a way that left no room for 15）retort， 16）steamrolling over me with truth， told right at the 17）outset， plainly， directly. I was always defeated before I’d so much as said a word. It always seemed unfair.

“What about you， Mamá？” I ask. “What are you scared of？ What don’t you want？”

“To be a burden.”

“You won’t be.”

“Oh， you’re right about that， Markos.”

18）Disquiet spreads through me at this 19）cryptic remark.

Mamá is studying my face. “You have your life and your work， Markos，” she says， more softly now， redirecting the course of the conversation， as if she has 20）peeked into my mind， spotted my worry. The 21）dentures， the diapers， the fuzzy slippers—they have made me 22）underestimate her. She still has the upper hand. She always will.

“I don’t want to 23）weigh you down.”

At last， a lie—this last thing she says—but it’s a kind lie. This isn’t me she would weigh down. She knows this as well as I do. I am absent， thousands of miles away. The unpleasantness， the work， the 24）drudgery， it would fall on Thalia. But Mamá is including me， granting me something I have not earned， nor tried to.

“It wouldn’t be like that，” I say weakly.

“那是你的嗎，媽媽？”我指了指新扶手椅后、靠墻放著的一根手杖。剛進家門時我都沒注意到它。

“哦，我很少用它。天氣壞時才用，還有散步時間長的時候。……