改變人生的密碼

I was having a great morning until I sat down in front of my office computer. “Your password has 1）expired，”a server message flashed on my screen， with instructions for changing it. Coming up with a new code doesn’t seem like a big deal， unless you work at my company， where we have to change it monthly， using at least one 2）uppercase character， one 3）lowercase character， one symbol， and one numeral. Oh， and the whole darn thing can’t be fewer than eight characters. And I can’t use any of the same passwords I’ve used in the past three months.

Suddenly I was furious. What didn’t make it any better was that I was deeply depressed after my recent divorce. Disbelief over what she had done to me was all I thought about. Every day.

That didn’t mean anything to the empty input field with a 4）pulsating 5）cursor， waiting for me to type a password that I’d have to reenter—many times—for the next 30 days. I remembered a tip I’d heard from my former boss. He’d said， “I’m going to use a password to change my life.”

I couldn’t focus on getting things done in my current mood. There were clear indicators of what I needed to do to regain control of my life， but I couldn’t 6）heed them.

My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be a victim of my recent breakup and that I was strong enough to do something about it.

I made my password Forgive@h3r.

I had to type this statement several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each time my screen saver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come back from eating lunch alone. In my mind， I wrote Forgive her every day.

The simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife. That constant reminder of 7）reconciliation led me to accept the way things had happened at the end of my marriage and embrace a new way of dealing with my depression. As the month 8）wore on， I felt a slow healing begin to take place. By the time my server 9）prompted me to reset my password the following month， I felt free.

One month later， my dear 10）Exchange server asked me yet again to reset my password. I thought about the next thing that I had to get done.

My password became Quit@smoking4ever.

I quit smoking overnight.

This password was a painful one to type during that month， but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind as I typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal.

One month later， my password became Save4trip@ thailand.

Guess where I went three months later： Thailand.

Seeing how these reminders helped to materialize my goals kept me motivated and excited. While it’s sometimes difficult to come up with your next goal， keeping at it brings great results.

Here is a simplified extract of what some of my passwords have been in the past two years， so you get an idea of how my life has changed， thanks to this method：

Forgive@h3r -To my ex-wife， who left me.

Quit@smoking4ever - It worked.

Save4trip@thailand - It worked.

Eat2times@day - It never worked， still fat.

Ask@her4date - It worked. I fell in love again.

MovE@togeth3r - It worked.

Facetime2mom@sunday - It worked. I talk with Mom every week.

And the one for last month：

Save4@ring - Yep. Life is gonna change again soon.

當我坐在辦公室電腦前時，原本美好的早晨被電腦屏幕彈出來的一行字給打破了——“您的密碼已過期”，并提示我更換密碼。想一個新密碼似乎沒有什么大不了的，除非你在我公司工作，我們每個月都必須更換一次密碼，還必須用到至少一個大寫字母，一個小寫字母，一個符號和一個數字。噢，還有，整個密碼不得少于八個字符。而且我還不能使用任何一組在之前三個月已經使用過的密碼。

我頓時覺得非常生氣。雪上加霜的是，我最近離婚了，陷入了深深的沮喪當中。我每天都在苦苦糾結，不愿相信她竟然對我做出了這種事。每天如此。

可這對于面前這個空白的輸入框來說，毫無意義，里面的的光標一閃一閃地等待著我再次輸入——我將要在接下來的30天多次輸入的密碼。我想起了從以前的老板那里聽來的一個提示。他說過，“我要用密碼來改變我的人生。”

我現在的心情讓我無法集中注意力做事。雖然有清楚的指示提醒我該做些什么來重新支配我的生活，但是這些指示沒辦法引起我的注意。

我的密碼成了指示器。我的密碼提醒我，我不能讓自己成為這樁離婚事件的受害者，而且我足夠堅強來面對這件事。

我把密碼設成：Forgive@h3r（原諒她）。

我每天都要把這句話打上好幾次——鎖定電腦的時候；在我的屏保（她的照片）出現的時候；在我獨自一人吃完午餐回來的時候。我的腦海每天都寫著：原諒她。

這個簡單的舉動改變了我對前妻的看法。這個代表著和解的密碼一直提醒著我，讓我接受了那段失敗的婚姻，讓我積極對抗消沉的心情。……