Charity begins at home

主 持 人："祖瑞"正高級(jí)教師，江蘇省特級(jí)教師，任教于。

Pre-reading

Charity begins at home

Pre-reading

\"Charity begins at home.\"is a saying. What's the meaning of it？

As a businessman who sells Chinese-made information technology products to European customers， Ronny Verdoodt was atracted by Shenzhen’s factories and suppliers and the convenience of sourcing and checking the quality of products.

However，his bonds with the city are now more emotional than pragmatic（實(shí)用的）.Verdoodt said he has gathered a“family” of thousands of people around him in Shenzhen who are compassionate， generous and willing to help others.

Over the years，Verdoodt has organized many charity events to help poor and elderly people，orphans and autistic and disabled children in Shenzhen，attracting lots of volunteers from more than 5O countries including Australia，F(xiàn)rance， Germany， Greece， Italy and Japan.

The Gorkha earthquake that struck central Nepal in 2O15 inspired Verdoodt to become involved in charity work. The earthquake killed nearly 9，OOO people and damaged thousands of buildings，but Verdoodt wondered why people are often only roused（召集） to help others in the wake of a disaster.

He immediately set up a group on WeChat called AHFC（A Heart for China），to try to organize people who were willing to give back to the community. He contacted（聯(lián)系） centers for special-needs children and nursing homes for the elderly to see if members of the group could visit. The visitors took gifts and played games with the children in the homes，or just spent time with lonely elderly people.

Verdoodt said charity is more about people giving time to help others，rather than just donating money or supplies.“Of course donations matter to a lot of needy people，but they also need constant care and love，\"he said.

Verdoodt said that although expats get involved in（參與）welfare activities in China， it is not always possible to join a Chinese organization because of official regulations.“In Shenzhen，an international metropolis，the openness of the group and its events have attracted new foreign members，\" Verdoodt said.

The group has also recruited（招募） volunteers from outside Shenzhen who are adept at assisting in the running of the group's online platforms，such as its official website and WeChat account.“We also plan to hold online activities，then people from around the world can help us make something happen online，\" Verdoodt said.

The group is also looking to support the development of education in remote parts of China and it will be formally registered as a charity under the Chinese system or set up as a foreign NGO. If it is set up as a foreign NGO it will be registered in Belgium，Verdoodt said， due to his nationality.

“My expectation is that the group can grow further and diversify（擴(kuò)大業(yè)務(wù)范圍）without losing touch with its mission statement or losing its identity， which is still the same as the day that it was founded，\" he said.

Verdoodt also has a personal connection to the city after marrying Liu Yang，a businesswoman based in Shenzhen.Liu said their son has learned the importance of sharing and compassion by attending group events.

While-reading

As a student， what should we do to help others？ Please discuss with your partner.

Post-reading

Suppose you want to help people or a family in need. Discuss in groups who you want to help and what you can do.Write an article titled“Giving a helping hand\". You can plan your writing by learning about the text type， the structure and the language.

原文呈現(xiàn)

Giving a helping hand

Just as a saying goes，“Roses given， fragrance in hand.” I hope I can have this great opportunity to do something good to people who need help. Among them， I think the elderly deserve more care， respect and help.

Everyone will become one of the elderly. So there is no doubt that we should show our support to them. There are many ways to help them. First of all，I can hand out some leaflets and put up some posters on the noticeboard at school and community，which can call on more people to care for the elderly. Then I believe more healthcare equipment for the elderly is needed. Therefore，I will appeal to the public for donations.What’s more，caring for the elderly is not an empty idea but a solid action. Everyone in our society should do something. We teenagers can help them clean their flats，wash their clothes or play chess with them. Sometimes the elderly just need our company. Finally，I think showing love to the elderly is our Chinese tradition. Great celebration on Double Ninth Day.is a good example. Let’s do something good to the elderly every day.

Today’s world is much better than before.Why not give a helping hand to the elderly？ Of course， it is the duty and honour for every single person.Only with everyone's effort， can our society be more harmonious.

該段多處連接詞使用不恰當(dāng)，要注意根據(jù)行文的前后邏輯關(guān)系恰當(dāng)選用連接詞。另外，建議此段主語(yǔ)統(tǒng)一使用“I”

“Double Ninth Day的提出有點(diǎn)突兀，建議補(bǔ)充文化背景，豐富作品的文化內(nèi)涵。

結(jié)尾段后兩句表達(dá)生硬，意思重復(fù)，建議使用復(fù)合句升華點(diǎn)晴。

升格展 示

Giving a helping hand

As the saying goes，“The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.” I hope to have the opportunity to do something meaningful for those in need，especially the elderly， who deserve our care， respect and support.

Everyone will eventually become elderly，so there's no doubt that we should show our appreciation and assistance to them.There are many ways to help.First of all，Ican distribute leaflets and put up posters on the school and community notice boards，encouraging more people to care for the elderly.Additionally，Ibelieve we need to improve their quality of life.To address this，Iwill appeal to the public for donations.With suficient funds，we can improve the facilities for them.For example，we could purchase healthcare equipment specially designed for seniors.

Moreover，caring for the elderly is not just a concept，it requires real action.Everyone in society should do something.As teenagers，we can assist by cleaning their homes，washing their clothes，or playing chess with them.Sometimes，what they need mostis just companionship.

Finally，Ibelieve that showing love to the elderly is a deeply rooted Chinese tradition. A great example of this is the Double Ninth Festival，which is dedicated to honoring our elders.Let’s aim to do something good for the elderly every day.

The world today is much better than it was in the past，so why not lend a helping hand to the elderly？ It is not only our responsibility but also an honor for each of us.With everyone's effort，our society will become more harmonious.

（江蘇省南京市金陵匯文學(xué)校 彭熙媛；指導(dǎo)教師 袁露露）

文章整體結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，語(yǔ)言表達(dá)流暢、自然。升格文用詞更加精準(zhǔn)，通過(guò)調(diào)整銜接，增強(qiáng)了段落的邏輯性，使內(nèi)容層次更分明，句子結(jié)構(gòu)更清晰。同時(shí)，對(duì)于“重陽(yáng)節(jié)”的補(bǔ)充解釋，能幫助讀者更好地理解文化背景，使內(nèi)容更完整且通俗易懂。