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利用契訶夫法則優化讀后續寫情節設計

2023-05-30 16:48:13沈奧
廣東教育·高中 2023年3期
關鍵詞:分類學生

沈奧

一、引言

讀后續寫作為一種半開放性質的寫作形式,要求學生依據所給語言材料、所給段落開頭語進行續寫,進而將其發展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節和結構完整的短文。情節設計是學生在進行續寫時的重要環節,但由于閱讀輸入不足、生活經驗欠缺等問題,學生在設計續寫情節時的表現往往不盡如人意。對此,學生可以學習契訶夫法則的相關內容,實現對讀后續寫情節設計的優化。

契訶夫法則又稱“契訶夫之槍”,這一名稱來源于俄國大作家契訶夫曾經說過的一段話:在故事開頭出現過的物品一定要在后來使用到,否則它就不應該在故事開端出現。假如一部影片的開頭給墻上一把用于收藏的古董槍安排了一個特寫鏡頭,那么到影片結束的時候,它就應該發揮作用,例如最后主人公在命懸一線之際用這把槍干掉了對手;要是這把槍從頭到尾都沒有發揮作用,那么它壓根就不應該出現在鏡頭里面。

契訶夫法則提示學生捕捉原文中隱藏的關鍵細節,并在續寫中設計合理再現,實現續寫與原文在邏輯線索、情節發展等維度上的高協同。契訶夫法則也對培養學生的閱讀素養起到了反撥作用。本文結合2022浙江卷與2022新高考全國I卷中的讀后續寫語篇,探究學生如何依據契訶夫法則優化情節設計,產出優秀的讀后續寫語篇。

二、發現“契訶夫之槍”

為成功使用契訶夫法則優化續寫情節設計,學生首先需要辨識出續寫原文中的“契訶夫之槍”。

1. 呈現劃線關鍵詞語

浙江卷中的讀后續寫原文包含多個標有下劃線的關鍵詞語,這些關鍵詞語由命題者精心挑選,具有明顯的指向性,是潛在的“契訶夫之槍”。以2022浙江卷為例,其讀后續寫真題如下。

[例1]

I needed to do something in my community (社區) in order to complete the community service hours required to graduate from high school. Some of my friends had signed up to spend time at a soup kitchen, so I did, too. It seemed like a good thing to do.

I thought that we would just be passing out dinners to those in need, but I found out we would be doing everything from preparing to serving the dinner. We began preparing the food, from mixing salad dressing to separating frozen meat. Much still needed to be done before dinner was served, but already outside the building many homeless people were gathering. It wasn't until a couple of hours later that we opened the doors and began serving dinner.

As the line of people came toward me, I got a little scared. I'd come face to face with the homeless: How should I act? How would they treat me? Would they hate me for having more than they did? While some of the people looked very friendly, some of them looked so dangerous. I didn't have too much time to worry about it. I was assigned (分配) to serve the salad with the lady next to me. She smiled at me and said if I needed help, she'd be right there, which I found quite comforting.

I had never seen so many people wanting food. They were of all ages and nationalities. Most of them wore clothes that were torn and dirty. Some looked like they had totally given up on life, while others seemed to be making the best of the situation, smiling and joking. Some were better off than others, but they all needed a good meal and a warm place to eat. It saddened me to think of how many people there were who did'?t have a place to call home and the only food they got came from a soup kitchen.

續寫原文所包含的劃線詞語為:spend,need,homeless,friendly,the lady,comforting,clothes,life。從理論上看,上述所有詞語都是“契訶夫之槍”,但是限于續寫篇幅及字數上限要求,學生需要梳理出其中最關鍵的詞語,進而避免為了優化情節而使續寫過于冗長。

為找出最關鍵的詞語,學生需要結合語篇特征,按照一定的標準對這些劃線詞語進行分類。分類標準包括但不限于按詞性分類、按要素分類、按因果關系分類、按時間分類、按空間分類等。其中,按詞性分類是指按照名詞、動詞、形容詞、副詞等詞性對劃線詞語進行分類,這種分類方式最為直觀。按要素分類需要解析構成事物特征的要素,這些要素的劃分可以是嚴謹的、符合科學規律的,例如人們在討論長方體體積時,需要考慮長、寬、高三個要素;要素的劃分也可以是約定俗成的,比如人們在敘述故事時經常會將其解構為時間、地點、人物、起因、經過、結果六個基本要素。按因果關系、時間、空間分類可以視作是在要素分類基礎上的升級,這三種分類標準更為細致,與語篇情節的聯系也更為緊密,能夠給學生發現“契訶夫之槍”、優化情節設計提供不小的幫助。

在日常續寫訓練中,學生可以運用多個標準對劃線詞進行分類。如果某一劃線詞在多個分類標準下都能得到明確區分,那其必然是出題者預設的、希望學生使用的“契訶夫之槍”。

例如,按照詞性標準,2022浙江卷中的劃線詞語可進行如下的分類:

這些劃線詞語也可以按照要素進行如下的分類:

綜合兩種分類,學生可以發現涉及名詞、涉及人物與事物的劃線詞the lady和clothes與情節的發展最為緊密,應成為“契訶夫之槍”的首選。學生在續寫時需要圍繞相關詞語設計對應情節。

2. 缺乏劃線關鍵詞語

續寫原文中的劃線詞語能夠給學生發現“契訶夫之槍”提供不少幫助。但是其他地區的高考并不提供劃線詞語,缺少了命題者的“善意提示”,學生發現“契訶夫之槍”的難度也相應增加。以2022新高考全國I卷為例,其讀后續寫真題如下。

[例2]

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路線) through thick evergreen forest.

I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.

What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!

I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,”he explained uncomfortably.“I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”

I bit back my frustration (懊惱). I knew the coach meant well-he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer-that's all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.

為找出“契訶夫之槍”,學生同樣需要梳理原文中的關鍵詞語。在沒有劃線詞語的情況下,學生首先可以根據最基本的“5W1H”分類原則,搜索出原文中涉及who,what,where,when這四類要素的詞語:

之后,學生可以分析相關詞語在原文中復現的頻率。復現頻率較高的詞語是原文的核心,不容易被學生所遺漏;而在原文中出現過但復現頻率較低的詞語則很容易被學生遺忘,是學生需要留意的“契訶夫之槍”。以上述Who一欄中的詞語為例,I與David兩詞在文中出現的頻率最高,二者是故事的主人公,是語篇刻畫的立體人物;剩余的students和classmates可以視作同義詞,在特定場合可以交替使用,他們與coach是故事刻畫的扁平人物,這三個詞語都在原文推動了情節的發展,可以成為學生的“契訶夫之槍”。類似地,What一欄中的brain disease一詞在原文中只出現了一次,但該詞可以被視作為整個故事發展的誘因,十分重要,也可以成為學生續寫時的“契訶夫之槍”。

在缺乏劃線關鍵詞語的情況下,學生同樣需要留意原文中表述人物與事物的詞語,并同時結合對應詞語出現的頻率,關注、剖析低頻詞匯,進而成功發現“契訶夫之槍”。

三、再現“契訶夫之槍”

學生在成功發現“契訶夫之槍”后需要在續寫中合理再現“契訶夫之槍”,實現邏輯線索上的閉環。

1. 再現的時機

“契訶夫之槍”再現的頻率不宜過高,理論上只需再現一次、與主人公產生一次互動即可。

讀后續寫要求學生續寫兩段話。根據情節山(圖1)的相關原則,續寫第一段往往為故事的發展(development),續寫第二段則為故事的高潮(climax)與結尾(ending)。

學生可以選擇在續寫第一段再現“契訶夫之槍”,使之成為將情節推向高潮的必要元素。學生也可以在續寫第二段再現,使其成為主旨表達的點睛之筆。如果原文中存在多把“契訶夫之槍”,學生可以在續寫第一段與第二段分別再現不同的“契訶夫之槍”,避免某一段信息過于密集。

以2022新高考全國I卷為例,原文中存在coach與brain disease兩把“契訶夫之槍”。根據上述原則,學生可以在續寫第一段再現coach一詞,描繪coach與主人公“I”和David產生的新互動,而coach在態度上的轉變使David下定決心參賽,以此使coach這個扁平人物推動情節的發展。學生可以在第二段再現brain disease一詞,以此烘托出主人公David不畏身體缺陷、嘗試自我突破的堅強品質,點明語篇鼓勵讀者勇于挑戰的正向價值,實現續寫與原文在思想主旨維度的高協同。

2. 再現的方式

再現“契訶夫之槍”的方式也有講究。以主人公的視角為基點,“契訶夫之槍”的再現方式可以分為“主人公主動搜索”及“主人公被動遭遇”。

所謂“主人公主動搜索”,是指主人公通過事件的推進意識到了某一人物、事物對于解決當前沖突的重要性,進而主動與“契訶夫之槍”產生交集,再次將后者拉入讀者的視野。例如在2022新高考全國I卷中,上文提到的“契訶夫之槍”可以通過這一方式再現:主人公意識到是coach的話語影響了David,進而主動找到coach,二人一起與David談心并改變David的看法,成功說服David參加比賽。又如在2022浙江卷中,the lady一詞作為“契訶夫之槍”也可以通過這樣的方式再現:主人公在分發食物時手忙腳亂,并回憶起the lady的話語“…and said if I needed help, she'd be right there…”進而主動尋求the lady的幫助,順利完成志愿者活動。“主人公主動搜素”的再現方式對于學生而言相對容易掌握,但這一方式也有刻意之嫌,有時候會使故事情節發展不那么自然。所以,當自身的語用能力達到一定水平時,學生可以使用“主人公被動遭遇”的方式再現“契訶夫之槍”。

所謂“主人公被動遭遇”,是指主人公在不自覺中接觸到了“契訶夫之槍”,并在其幫助下順利解決矛盾。例如2022新高考全國I卷中的“契訶夫之槍”coach也可以通過這一方式再現:coach在無意中聽到了主人公與David的談話,并意識到自己之前的話語對David影響之大,進而主動介入二者的對話,積極鼓勵David參賽。這一再現方式相較于“主人公主動搜索”更為自然。若能在續寫第二段使用使用這種方式再現伏筆,更有可能產出“意料之外、情理之中”的歐亨利式結尾,讓續寫的情節更為出彩。

通過學習發現與再現“契訶夫之槍”的相關技巧,學生可以在2022新高考全國I卷產出如下的續寫作品:

We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me. I asked him if he really decided to quit. He hesitated a lot and murmured, “I do want to have a try, but other kids will tease me…” He lowered his head and stared at the ground. At that time, the coach appeared, he said that he noticed our chat and expressed his sorrow to David. We assured David that he would be the best runner on condition that he finished the run. Hearing our words, David stood up, straightening his small body and moving through the crowds with determination.

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with other runners. The signal pistol going off, David rushed out but no wonder he was left far behind. His unusual movement drew audience's attention. With all eyes fixed on him, his small body was gradually swallowed up by the thick forest. After a long time, David emerged from the forest, making his way to the finish line with everyone's applause and cheering. Obviously, brain disease could never defeat a boy with strong determination.

該續寫選擇在故事的發展部分再現the coach,在結尾部分再現brain disease。解鈴還須系鈴人,通過在續寫第一段以“主人公被動遭遇”的方式再現the coach及其開導,David能夠更自然地解開心結,推動情節發展。而結尾部分對brain disease的再現,則在完成故事邏輯閉環的同時實現情感的升華。

四、結語

1. 忠實原文

根據契訶夫法則,故事作者在設計情節時會在故事的開始與發展階段設置諸多伏筆,擺放多把“契訶夫之槍”,讀后續寫語篇亦是如此。這啟示學生研讀續寫原文,通過搜索、分類等措施找出隱藏在原文中的“契訶夫之槍”;同時,結合上文發現“契訶夫之槍”的內容,續寫原文中的伏筆已經十分豐富,這也提示學生在續寫時不要隨意增添新人物、新事物,借此來解決故事沖突;不要為解決矛盾而可以制造新的矛盾,而應忠實原文,找好、用好原文提供的線索,讓續寫情節和作者思路在高協同的狀態下推進。

2. 關注留白

留白是中國藝術作品創作中常用的一種手法,具體指藝術創作為使整個作品畫面、章法更為協調而有意留下相應的空白,留有想象的空間。學生在續寫時也應該關注留白,不把故事“寫滿”。這是因為作者在設計整個故事情節時往往會在前文放置多把“契訶夫之槍”,這些伏筆理論上也都能夠在原故事結尾得到呼應;但考慮到讀后續寫是經過改編后的語篇,且存在篇幅和字數的上限要求,學生就不能夠在續寫中再現所有的“契訶夫之槍”,而應該回應一到兩個最關鍵的伏筆,用最精確的手段解決故事的主要矛盾,對剩下的“契訶夫之槍”則采用留白處理。

責任編輯吳昊雷

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