小幽默

楊揚

A Dollar Per Point

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”

The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

一分一塊錢

教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然后回到講臺前等待。

考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上別著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：“一分一塊錢。”

第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。

Haircut

Miles sometime went to the barbers during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules： clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barbers one day， the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

“Hello， Miles，” the manager said. “I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.”

“Yes， sir， I am，” admitted Miles calmly. “You see， sir， it grows in office time.”

“Not all of it，” said the manager at once. “Some of it grows in your own time.”

“Yes， sir， thats quite true.” answered Miles politely， “But Im not having it all cut off.”

理發

麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理發店理發，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理發。一天，正當麥爾斯理發時，經理碰巧也進來理發，而且就坐在他旁邊。

“你好，麥爾斯，”經理說：“我看到你在上班時間理發了。”

“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認了。“可先生，你看，頭發是在上班時間長的。”

“不全都是吧，”經理立刻說：“有一些是在你自己的時間里長的。”

“對呀，先生，你說得很對。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說：“但我并沒有把頭發全都剪掉啊。”

Boy， Oh Boy

When theyre together， my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. One Saturday， I put my foot down. “All right， you two，” I said sternly. “No screaming， grabbing， whining， hitting， teasing， tattling， breaking toys， scratching or fighting.”

As I turned to leave， I heard my son say， “Cmon， Steven， lets get dirty.”

讓人無奈的孩子

我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個，”我嚴厲地說：“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許閑談，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。”

我剛轉身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。”

（浙江杭州〓楊〓揚〓供稿）