續(xù)寫要“說(shuō)”好，就用這四招

彭曉玲

對(duì)話描寫在續(xù)寫中有著重要的作用，它可以揭示人物的性格和個(gè)性，以及當(dāng)時(shí)的心理狀態(tài)或情感表現(xiàn)。那么如何準(zhǔn)確、生動(dòng)地進(jìn)行對(duì)話描寫呢？

一、用具體的動(dòng)詞

如果我們籠統(tǒng)地使用“sb says/said， ...”就會(huì)顯得過(guò)于單調(diào)呆板，但如果我們學(xué)會(huì)用一些具體傳神、畫面感強(qiáng)的動(dòng)詞，就會(huì)更加生動(dòng)。如：

叫喊：shout（叫喊）， scream/squeal（尖叫）， exclaim（驚叫）， yell out/cry out（叫喊）

答復(fù)：answer/reply/respond（回答）

其它：ask（問(wèn)），add（補(bǔ)充說(shuō)）， repeat（重復(fù)道）， report（報(bào)道）， explain（解釋道， sigh（嘆著氣說(shuō)）， sob/cry（哭訴）， comfort（安慰道）， promise（承諾道）， propose/ suggest（建議），agree（同意），whisper/murmur/mumble（咕噥地說(shuō)）， stutter（結(jié)巴地說(shuō)）

Examples：

“With your encouragement，”Jack “I am full of confidence.”杰克還補(bǔ)充說(shuō)“有你的鼓勵(lì)，我信心滿滿的。”

Suddenly Jack “Oh， no， the background music for my speech is deleted by accident.”突然杰克發(fā)出一聲尖叫“為演講配的背景音樂(lè)無(wú)意間被刪除了。”

“What a big trouble，”but Lily him，“Take it easy， there is still time to make up for it.”“麻煩大了”但李莉安慰他說(shuō)“別急，還有時(shí)間去彌補(bǔ)。”

Jack “My heart is aching.”杰克咕噥著“我的心在痛。”

After a slight pause， Jack “Lily， you are right.”稍停片刻后，杰克贊同李莉說(shuō)，“你說(shuō)得對(duì)。”

二、增加介詞短語(yǔ)

雖然say， ask等動(dòng)詞普通，但如果加上with...或in...等介詞短語(yǔ)，可以表現(xiàn)出說(shuō)話者的語(yǔ)氣、神態(tài)、聲音和情感，達(dá)到傳神的效果，使對(duì)話描寫更加生動(dòng)。

1. 增加in /with...

（1）in a ... voice表達(dá)聲音

in a low voice低聲地;in a high voice高聲地;in a soft voice以一種輕柔的口吻; in a sweet voice嬌聲細(xì)語(yǔ)地

（2）in a ... tone表達(dá)語(yǔ)氣

in a pleasant tone 以一種愉悅的口氣;in a firm tone 以堅(jiān)定的語(yǔ)調(diào);in a curious tone以好奇的口吻;in a impatient tone 以不耐煩地語(yǔ)氣;in a rude tone以不禮貌的語(yǔ)氣;in a frightened tone以受驚的語(yǔ)調(diào)

（3）in/with... 表達(dá)感情

in surprise驚奇地;in shock在驚嚇中;in horror驚恐地;in sorrow悲傷地;in doubt不能肯定的

with delight欣然;with excitement懷著激動(dòng)的心情;with satisfaction滿意地;with pride驕傲地;with embarrassment尷尬地;with patience耐心地;with certainty確定無(wú)疑地

Examples：

“I will never do that again，”I answered .“我再也不會(huì)那樣做了，”我語(yǔ)氣堅(jiān)定地回答。

“It will definitely be an unforgettable experience，”she unconsciously a smile spreading over his face.“這一定會(huì)是一次難忘的經(jīng)歷，”她低聲說(shuō)，臉上不自覺(jué)地綻開了笑容。

“ What’s this ？ ”Kate said， eyes staring at the box on the table.“這是什么？”凱特興奮地說(shuō)，眼睛盯著桌子上的盒子。

“ I don’t mean that ，”Emily said and ten lowered his head.“我不是這個(gè)意思，”埃米莉，尷尬地說(shuō)，然后低下了頭。

2. 增加with +賓語(yǔ)+賓補(bǔ)

she said，“Here， Mum. It’s for you.”用顫抖的聲音說(shuō)，“媽媽，給你。這是給你的。”

， she said，“ It’s very kind of you， Dad！”她笑著說(shuō)，“爸爸，您真是太好了！

“I was innocent. Never did I kill anyone，”he cried， “我是無(wú)辜的。我從來(lái)沒(méi)有殺過(guò)人，”他叫道，喉嚨發(fā)緊，雙腿發(fā)軟。

“What’s it， Jenny？ What’s the matter？”the boy said with his lips trembling.“什么事，珍妮？出什么事了？ ”男孩說(shuō)，他的嘴唇在顫抖著。

三、增加分詞短語(yǔ)

典型句型： Doing...，“...”sb said.

Examples：

“I was innocent.”想到自己會(huì)被判刑，他解釋說(shuō)，“我是無(wú)辜的。”

， he apologized，“Mum， I am so sorry and thank you all you have done for me.”他跪在地上道歉說(shuō)，“媽媽，對(duì)不起，謝謝您為我所做的一切。”

Dad said calmly，“Everything will be OK ！”爸爸安慰著媽媽，平靜地說(shuō)，“一切都會(huì)好起來(lái)的！”

Marry said，“It is a secret.”瑪麗把手指放在嘴唇上說(shuō)，“這是秘密。”

四、增加狀語(yǔ)從句

典型句型：“...”sb said， as/when/as if...

Examples：

“Where is my necklace？”Jenny asked， “我的項(xiàng)鏈在哪里？”珍妮一邊焦急地擦著額頭上的汗水，一邊問(wèn)道。

After searching it for a long time， “Where is my necklace？”Jenny said hopelessly 找了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間之后，“我的項(xiàng)鏈在哪里？”珍妮絕望地說(shuō)，好像她被打敗了。

After searching it for a long time，“Where is my necklace？” Jenny sighed 找了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間之后，“我的項(xiàng)鏈在哪里？”珍妮坐在沙發(fā)上嘆了口氣。

“Don’t panic！”father comforted them 別慌！”父親一邊安慰他們，一邊幫他們很快地清理干凈。

情景寫作

前文梗概：Taylor先生第一次和兩個(gè)兒子Harry和Joel一起徒步旅行。然而，Harry和Joel為徒步旅行的前三英里而爭(zhēng)吵。結(jié)果后來(lái)惹得Taylor先生生氣了，他的左腳被樹根纏住了，在泥濘的河岸上滑來(lái)滑去，掉進(jìn)了路旁的河里。兩個(gè)兒子前去幫助父親，幸好，渾身濕透的父親發(fā)現(xiàn)自己只是受了點(diǎn)輕傷。

Paragraph 1.

But his glasses came off when he fell in the water. Seeing this， Harry and Joel were seized by a sense of anxiety so that they rushed to the river where their father fell to search for the glasses. However， with the water running quite rapidly， all their efforts were in vain. Without his glasses， Mr. Taylor couldn’t see， not to mention recognizing the way.______________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

（請(qǐng)用“分詞短語(yǔ)，with +賓語(yǔ)+賓補(bǔ)”結(jié)構(gòu)描寫兄弟倆“互相埋怨，引發(fā)爭(zhēng)執(zhí)”的對(duì)話）. Another fierce argument broke out.

Paragraph 2.

“Just calm down.”Mr. Taylor shouted，“ Without my glasses， we need to work together to find our way.”After hearing this， they stopped arguing.____________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________（請(qǐng)用具體動(dòng)詞“apologize， add”及“增加in /with...”結(jié)構(gòu)描寫兄弟倆“認(rèn)錯(cuò)道歉，團(tuán)結(jié)合作”的對(duì)話）. Mr. Taylor pulled the map and the compass out. Luckily， Joel learned how to read a map from his books， and Harry knew how to use a compass from his hiking club.With Joel studying the map to search for the river， Harry used the compass to find the direction. Finally， they made it. In relief， Mr. Taylor beamed proudly，“ It is you two that save the day.”Delightedly/With delight in heart， Joel and Harry smiled to each other ， walking their path with love.

參考答案：

Para 1. Glaring at Joe，“What should we do？We are lost.” Harry cried 或“What should we do？We are lost.”Harry cried with his eyes burning.“It’s all your fault！”Harry continued， and voice trembled with anger.“Don’t just blame others.”Joel shouted back.

Para 2. Harry apologized in an embarrassing tone/with embarrassment“ I’m sorry， Dad. I am too anxious to control my temper.”“ I am sorry too.”Joel added，“ Let’s try to solve the problem together .”