Intercultural Competence: Recognizing Cultural Differences in Parenting Art

From the moment a child is born， parents imagine a bright， successful future for their child. Reaching that bright future depends upon a first-class education. A primary role parents fulfill for their child is ensuring the child learns to work hard to maximize educational opportunities to succeed in school and in life. While Chinese parents and Western parents both passionately believe in education， encouraging success and excellence in their children， they have different methods in teaching their children.

1. History backgrounds

America is an emigrant country with about 50 million immigrants. In this melting pot， due to the multicultural crash and influence， American people are easy to accept the new thoughts， new culture and blend it into their own culture to form the particular American culture. Because of the influence of multiculture， American people have more spirit of adventure and innovation. However， China has a long history of more than 5000 years. Chinese people are restricted by the traditional customs， especially the Confucius’ ideas. Children are always under the thoughts of obedience and conservativeness which weaken their adventurous and innovational spirit.

2. Economic patterns

Of all the aspects， economic patterns have made an important role. America is a developed country with better economy which brings more employment opportunities. With the sound employment mechanism， Americans have less stress than Chinese. So they have a relatively open eye on choosing an occupation. In American parents’ opinions no matter the job is highly valued or not， children can base themselves on the society. The economic system has made the “the society of capability”.On the contrary， China is a developing country with a large population so the pressure of living is greater. In China， the key to a better job is the diploma and Chinese always use the job to measure a person’s value. Therefore， Chinese parents regard the excellent grades and the decent job as the best way of achieving the stable life. Compared with American parents， Chinese parents seem to cultivate their children into “talents” to get a better diplomas and a better job.

3. Social conditions

The different economic and social conditions have created different thoughts of parents， because they want their children to adjust to the society and live a better life. Because of the better economy and less pressure on jobs， Americans have better social conditions. American parents finish their duty after their children are old enough to survive in the society in spite of what their children’s future will be like. How the future will be is children’s own choices. However， Chinese children’s future is regarded to be related to their parents’ old life. That’s why Chinese people have the heavier pressure than Americans.

4. Family values and principles

Of all the reasons， family values and principles， are the most direct one to the different teaching methods. We can find that Chinese family regard the loyalty as an important value. Chinese parents think the relations between parents and children are significant including the children’ love and respect for them. So many young Chinese people still try to live near to their parents even after they are married. Chinese people have a stronger sense of collective quality than the individual sense. For Americans， the primary purpose of the family is to advance the happiness of individual members and the primary responsibility of the family member is not to advance the family as a group， either socially or economically. Based on the principle， they allow children to disagree， even argue with them， which is viewed as a part of developing kids’ independence. And furthermore， American people believe in a mentality of “self-help”. American family members regard each other as friends and everyone is equally treated. The old won’t live with their children even if they’re ill， and they will prefer living in the nursing houses to rely on the aid of government rather than live with their children. So the children in America have less pressure than Chinese children， they have more room to pursue what they want.

We were born into a family， mature in a family， form new families， and leave them at our death. So The family is the first place that children are familiar with and Parents are the first teachers of their children. For the better development of children， Chinese and American parents can draw on the merits of each other and face up to their own demerits and misunderstanding of educating children. There will be a bright future waiting for parents and their children.

【作者簡介】Wang Chun， Guizhou University of Commerce.