改變?nèi)松拿艽a

I was having a great morning until I sat down in front of my office computer. “Your password has expired，”a server message flashed on my screen， with instructions for changing it. Coming up with a new code doesnt seem like a big deal， unless you work at my company， where we have to change it monthly， using at least one uppercase character， one lowercase character， one symbol， and one numeral. Oh， and the whole darn thing cant be fewer than eight characters. And I cant use any of the same passwords Ive used in the past three months.

Suddenly I was furious. What didnt make it any better was that I was deeply depressed after my recent divorce. Disbelief over what she had done to me was all I thought about. Every day.

That didnt mean anything to the empty input field with a pulsating cursor， waiting for me to type a password that Id have to reenter—many times—for the next 30 days. I remembered a tip Id heard from my former boss. Hed said， “Im going to use a password to change my life.”

I couldnt focus on getting things done in my current mood. There were clear indicators of what I needed to do to regain control of my life， but I couldnt heed them.

My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldnt let myself be a victim of my recent breakup and that I was strong enough to do something about it.

I made my password Forgive@h3r.

I had to type this statement several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each time my screen saver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come back from eating lunch alone. In my mind， I wrote Forgive her every day.

The simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife. That constant reminder of reconciliation led me to accept the way things had happened at the end of my marriage and embrace a new way of dealing with my depression. As the month wore on， I felt a slow healing begin to take place. By the time my server prompted me to reset my password the following month， I felt free.

One month later， my dear Exchange server asked me yet again to reset my password. I thought about the next thing that I had to get done.

My password became Quit@smoking4ever.

I quit smoking overnight.

This password was a painful one to type during that month， but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind as I typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal.

One month later， my password became Save4trip@ thailand.

Guess where I went three months later： Thailand.

Seeing how these reminders helped to materialize my goals kept me motivated and excited. While its sometimes difficult to come up with your next goal， keeping at it brings great results.

Here is a simplified extract of what some of my passwords have been in the past two years， so you get an idea of how my life has changed， thanks to this method：

Forgive@h3r -To my ex-wife， who left me.

Quit@smoking4ever - It worked.

Save4trip@thailand - It worked.

Eat2times@day - It never worked， still fat.

Ask@her4date - It worked. I fell in love again.

MovE@togeth3r - It worked.

Facetime2mom@sunday - It worked. I talk with Mom every week.

And the one for last month：

Save4@ring - Yep. Life is gonna change again soon.

當我坐在辦公室電腦前時，原本美好的早晨被電腦屏幕彈出來的一行字給打破了——“您的密碼已過期”，并提示我更換密碼。想一個新密碼似乎沒有什么大不了的，除非你在我公司工作，我們每個月都必須更換一次密碼，還必須用到至少一個大寫字母，一個小寫字母，一個符號和一個數(shù)字。噢，還有，整個密碼不得少于八個字符。而且我還不能使用任何一組在之前三個月已經(jīng)使用過的密碼。

我頓時覺得非常生氣。雪上加霜的是，我最近離婚了，陷入了深深的沮喪當中。我每天都在苦苦糾結(jié)，不愿相信她竟然對我做出了這種事。每天如此。

可這對于面前這個空白的輸入框來說，毫無意義，里面的光標一閃一閃地等待著我再次輸入——我將要在接下來的30天多次輸入的密碼。我想起了從以前的老板那里聽來的一個提示。他說過，“我要用密碼來改變我的人生。”

我現(xiàn)在的心情讓我無法集中注意力做事。雖然有清楚的指示提醒我該做些什么來重新支配我的生活，但是這些指示沒辦法引起我的注意。

我的密碼成了指示器。我的密碼提醒我，我不能讓自己成為這樁離婚事件的受害者，而且我足夠堅強來面對這件事。

我把密碼設成：Forgive@h3r（原諒她）。

我每天都要把這句話打上好幾次——鎖定電腦的時候;在我的屏保（她的照片）出現(xiàn)的時候;在我獨自一人吃完午餐回來的時候。我的腦海每天都寫著：原諒她。

這個簡單的舉動改變了我對前妻的看法。這個代表著和解的密碼一直提醒著我，讓我接受了那段失敗的婚姻，讓我積極對抗消沉的心情。這個月漸漸過去，我感覺心里的傷口在慢慢愈合。等到電腦服務器彈出提示，讓我為下個月重新設置密碼的時候，我覺得我已經(jīng)放下了。

一個月后，親愛的微軟Exchange服務器再次讓我重新設置密碼。我想了想我下一件要做到的事。

我的密碼變成Quit@smoking

4ever（徹底戒煙）。

我一夜之間就把煙戒掉了。

在那個月里，輸入這個密碼是件痛苦的事，但這樣做能夠讓我在心里為自己鼓勁兒，激勵自己努力做到那個月的目標。

一個月后，我的密碼變成了Save4trip@thailand（存錢去泰國）。

猜猜看三個月后我去了哪里：泰國。

看到這些提示使我的目標一一實現(xiàn)，我感到非常振奮。雖然有時要想出你的下一個目標有點困難，但是堅持下來你會看到很好的成效。

這里簡單精選了我在過去兩年里使用過的一些密碼，從中你能一窺我生活的變化。多虧了這個方法：Forgive@h3r—（原諒她）致離我而去的妻子。Quit@smoking4ever—（把煙徹底戒掉）奏效。Save4trip@thailand—（存錢去泰國）奏效。

Eat2times@day—（一天吃兩頓）從未奏效，還是很胖。

Ask@her4date—（邀請她跟我約會）奏效。我又墜入了愛河。

MovE@togeth3r—（搬到一起住）奏效。

Facetime2mom@sunday—（星期天和媽媽視訊）奏效，我每周都有和媽媽聊天。

這是上一個月的密碼：

Save4@ring—（存錢買戒指）沒錯，我的人生即將再次改變