Jokes Today

You know...

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.

The parrot said to her， “Hey lady， you are really ugly.” Well， the lady was not happy！

She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her， “Hey lady， you are really ugly.”

The lady was so angry that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say that again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her， “Hey lady.”

She paused and said， “Yes？”

The bird said， “You know.”

I'm the groom

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

“But officer，” the man began， “I can explain...”

“Just be quiet，” said the officer. “I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back...”

“But officer， I just wanted to say...”

“And I said to keep quiet！ You're going to jail！”

A few hours latter the officer looked in on his prisoner and said， “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don't count on it，” answered the fellow in the cell. “I'm the groom.”

I'm glad

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. “Now， children，” said she， “has anyone of you ever made someone else glad？”

“Please， teacher，” said a small boy， “I've made someone glad yesterday.”

“Well done. Who was that？”

“My granny.”

“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.”

“Please， teacher， I went to see her yesterday， and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her， ‘Granny， I'm going home'， and she said， ‘Well， I'm glad！'”