小屁孩日記

SUNDAY星期天

有幾個同學會寫自己的名字，還有一兩個能從一數到五十。我知道我是騎馬都趕不上了，于是我決定向他們傳輸錯誤信息來拖慢他們的進度。A few of my classmates could write their own names， and one or two could count all the way to fifty. I knew I couldnt keep up， so I decided to try and slow everyone else down by feeding them bad information.

事與愿違，托兒所老師跟老媽說我學顏色和形狀都不如其他孩子快。老媽說我很聰明，一定是因為缺乏挑戰(zhàn)所以學習積極性不足。My plan kind of backfired， though， and my preschool teacher told Mom I wasnt learning my colors and shapes like the other kids. But Mom said I was smart and that maybe the problem was I wasnt being challenged enough.

于是老媽就不讓我上托兒所了，跳了一級直接上了幼兒園。這是個空難性的決定。So Mom actually took me out of preschool and had me skip a grade， to kindergarten. But that decision was a total disaster.

幼兒園里的孩子在我看來就像巨人一樣，他們連剪刀都會用，涂顏色時還能不涂出框。The kids in kindergarten seemed like giants to me， and they knew how to do stuff like cut with scissors and color inside the lines.

我在幼兒園連一天都沒挺過去，教師趕緊打電話讓老媽來把我領走了。I didnt even make it a whole day in kindergarten before the teacher had to call Mom to come get me.

第二天，老媽把我送回托兒所，問老師能不能將我安排到原來的位置上。但愿休學記錄不會跟我一輩子，要是大家發(fā)現我有幼兒園輟學經歷的話，我將來要找份好工作就難了。The next day Mom brought me back to preschool and asked the teacher if I could have my cubby back. I just hope your academic record doesnt follow you around， because it might be tough for me to get a good job later on if people find out I was a kindergarten dropout.

MONDAY星期一

老媽一定是發(fā)現她在我身上用的這套沒什么效果，所以她對曼尼采取了完全不同的方法。Im pretty sure Mom decided that whatever she tried with me when I was little didnt work out， because shes taking a totally different approach with Manny.

首先，老媽讓曼尼隨意看電視，愛看什么就看什么。所以他一天24小時鎖定《大頭星人》。For starters， Mom pretty much lets Manny watch whatever he wants on TV. So he deeps it on this show called “The Snurples” twenty-four hours a day.

我看過幾次《大頭星人》，完全不知所云。大頭星人有自己的語言，我估計只有三歲小孩才聽得懂。I tried to watch “The Snurples” a few times， but I had no idea what was going on. The Snurples have their own language that I guess only three-year-olds can understand.

自從曼尼看了那個節(jié)目之后，他就開始為家人不能理解他而苦惱了。After Manny watches the show， he gets frustrated when no one in our family can understand him.

有一天，老媽在報紙上讀到一篇文章，說看《大頭星人》會導致小孩子語言能力比同齡人落后近一年，而且社交能力嚴重受影響。But the other day Mom read an article in the newspaper that said watching “The Snurples” actually sets kids back about a year with their language development and messes up their social skills， too.

那就怪不得了。曼尼沒什么朋友，每次老媽邀請別的孩子來家里做客，曼尼是唯一一個不怎么跟別的孩子一起玩的。Well， that explains a lot. Manny doesnt have any real friends， and whenever Mom hold playgroup at out house， Manny is the only one who doesnt interact with the other kids.

我看一部分原因是曼尼不愿意跟別人分享他的玩具。每次孩子們來家里玩的時候，曼尼就把自己鎖在老狗阿甜的圍欄里，獨霸所有玩具。I think part of the issue is that Manny doesnt like to share his toys. So when kids come over， Manny locks himself inside our old dog Sweeties exercise pen and keeps his toys all to himself.