How to Write a Cohesive Essay

史娜威++劉江

【Abstract】Writing a cohesive academic composition is one of the fundamental abilities required of colleges students. Though many English learners can convey the ideas of thinking， information， even the speech easily， they sometimes feel difficulty in meeting the criterion of academic accuracy requested by teachers. This essay deals with some writing skills， suggestions and solutions for it.

【Key words】composition； writing； sentence； grammar

1. Introduction

Loose-jointed essay writing sometimes is ubiquitous among the second language learners works， which is features by long disconnected paragraphs and sentences， especially for over using subordinate clauses. It is hard to correct， due to tinkering with conjunctions would not solve the problems and the normal shorthand is inadequate， and rewriting the essay is the proper way they can do. A large number of writers take English workshops or classes at universities. They can manage the organizational abilities of the courses， however at the end of the day， they yield poor writing. I would like to analyze some errors in university students works， first for content and second for grammatical problems. The result is that majority of the errors is because of wrong sentence construction. The following paragraph is a good example， partially corrected：

Example 1：

Traditional buildings are very strong， they are not expensive to construct， they have many disadvantages like the roofs can not last for a long time. They leak mouses and other animals make their homes there， also they transmit disease. The single rooms are sometimes very small holding many family members， they cook in a small kitchen， usually small kids are sleeping close to the fireplace， and the toilet may be far away.

Mentors comments for this is ‘try to write a simple English is not really helpful because one student has little idea as to what makes up a right sentence and once they do succeed in writing simple English， they are attempt to produce baby English. To some extent we prefer the writing is not communicative， although with readers collaboration. This essay copes with the types of error which highlight incoherent writing and suggest some ways to solve them.

2. Concept of sentence.

Some grammatical mistakes can be identified by teachers extremely easily， and usually remedied by writers once attention is instructed to them. Others appear to show a more fundamental misconception by writers as to what is acceptable as a cohesive sentence. It is the second area which accounts for loads of incoherent writing. My results show that some grammatical mistakes was due to inaccurate misunderstanding of what compromised a correct sentence. The main fields of mistakes are listed below：endprint

Example 2： Unfinished sentences： omission of a grammatical elements from a clause in a complete sentence. （She seldom write letters and I never read whey she receive them .）

Example 3： Ungrammatical relationship among clauses： sometimes a failure to realize the need for dependency within clauses， or the failure to highlight one clause as the main clause. （Though the wave is rough but the swimmer head of in their canoe.）

Example 4： Repetition of grammatical element： repetition within or following a subordinate clause. （The farmland which owned by the chief， it was usually cultivated by the villagers.）

Incorrect using of linking method： do not manage to recognize the restraints created by linking， or omission of any method other than the overworked comma.

It should be discussed that most of the mistakes are superficial errors which can be solved remedial study on individual grammatical points. However the frequency appear to demonstrate a failure at the basic level. Besides， the mistakes are usually not obvious till the finishing of the whole sentence. The teachers may need to read it twice or three times to indicate which point has been wrong. There are loads of skills which teachers can adopt， such as before and after composition writing which helps students decrease these mistakes.

3.1 Pre-writing exercise

The below exercises are shown to make awareness of the relationship of dependency among long sentences. Teachers write down some long sentences and asks the students to divide each into meaningful word groups. Writers can usually identify clause without so much doubts. It is quite significant that all words are assigned to one group and that allocation does make sense. Writers may then required to highlight the fundamental sentence， the part which occur on its own as a complete and meaningful statements. To reach this level needs a lot of practice， however asking writers to read the word groups loudly usually assist in distinguishing fragments from sentences. Meanwhile it also requests to be emphasized that the writers are looking for grammatical wholeness.

3.2 Expansion exercises

The following is a sentence， which needs to be expand by responding to specific WH questions. E.g. The captain sailed his boat up the stream. （provide time and place）

This exercise can be done individually or as a cumulative class exercises， with writers adding one or even more sentences to the original version. Writers should be supported to experiment with the position of the clauses， to indicate how to make a basic sentence into a complex one. Once they have master the WH questions， the teachers can explain how participles can serve the sentence. These exercises assist writers to make understanding the important function of the basic sentence， and to choose a proper method to link the clause to the rest of the sentence.endprint

3.3 Linking methods

These exercise can be divided into two main parts： the gap filling exercise where the writers is required to select a proper linking method to connect two sections of a sentence or many sentences， or finishing exercises where the writers have to yield the answer which meet the expectations of the linking methods. Sentences with the similar root underline the fact that various methods will request various responses. though...............

E.g. Too much drinking is dangerous for peoples health，

so..........................

due to...................

The words also and therefore are sometimes adopted in the correct context but incorrect as conjunctions. Writers have to be indicated that these words cannot be adopted to join two fundamental sentences together.

4.1 Post-writing analysis

This part we begin with a completion paragraph of ungrammatical writing and deal with methods in which writers can locate and correct errors. It is not primary for writers to embark on their own incorrect works. The fact is that there are arguments for writers embarking on the same passage and learning from each other. It is better to eliminate distracting mistakes such as tenses and spelling. At beginning， writers should embark on passages where error has been highlighted.

4.2 Fundamental sentences

The writers are required to examine every sentences as they are provided in the passage and make them into word group. Each sentence which yields no fundamental sentences or so many fundamental sentences have to be remedied： sentences adopting the conjunctions and， but， or or yield a fundamental sentence for each other. Writers have to rewrite the sentences and keep the concept the same， and highlight the fundamental sentence in a new version. Attention can be paid to the series of clauses connected only with commas are sometimes questionable， and a small paragraph of about one hundred will appear four or five fundamental sentences.

4.3 Meaningful device

This device is helpful for those writers who intuitively deem their writing is ungrammatical but find it hard locate the reason. Writers are required to divide the paragraph according to the number of the meaning， neglecting the demand of grammar. Subsequently， among each group， they have to make sure which could be the fundamental sentence and which could be the dependent sentence. It should be that for some groups， more than more fundamental sentence will be requested. Once we take the primary example， it should be divide like below：endprint

Meaningful sentences： Traditional buildings are extremely strong， they are not expensive to construct. They have many strength， such as the roofs will not last very long， they leak so mouses and other animals make their homes， also they transmit disease. The rooms are sometime very small with many families， they cook in the room sometimes children are sleeping near the fireplaces， and toilet may be far away.

Fundamental and dependent sentences： Though traditional houses are extremely strong and they are not expensive to construct， they have some disadvantages. The roofs， which do not last for a very long time， often leak， and mouses and other animals make their homes there， transmitting disease. Many families sometimes live in one room. They have to cook in the same area， which could be dangerous once there are small kids sleeping next to the fireplace.

5. Conclusion

Kharma suggests that two major insufficiency in extended writing are the mistakes to manage collaborating and subordinating clauses， and incorrect adopting of linking methods （Kharma： 2008）. These insufficiency results in the sort of incoherent essay talked above before. Once the article has been written， it is hard to untangle， particularly for the writers with not so much exercises in remedy and editing. Embarking on articles requires writers to gain the skills without demotivating side effects of composition rewriting， although they request to have the capacity of transferring these abilities into their own words. The training emphasized above make writers review their works in a more critical way. They should also help themselves avoid these mistakes at the beginning stages.

References：

[1]ELT Journal Volume 43/1 January 2009 Oxford University Press 2009.

[2]Chenoweth，N.A.2007.The need to teach rewriting.ELTJournal 41/1：25-9.

[3]Davies，F.E.2003 Error evaluation：the importance of viewpoint.ELT Journal 37/4：304-11.

[4]Kharma，N.2008 Composition problems：diagnosis and remedy.Forum 24/3.

[5]Nation，I.S.P 2011 Free composition and remedial work.RELC Vol.6.endprint