剩女也精彩

剩女也精彩

It's hard being a woman in a 21st century China, isn't it?

Growing up, you're dutifully taught the utmost importance of thinking for yourself and paving your own destiny. Now highly educated and fi nancially independent, you're well respected by colleagues and peers. You do hot yoga and know the difference between a Cabernet and a Malbec. To celebrate your birthday, you travel extensively, eager to spread your wings and see the world. You soon get a much-deserved promotion, and you emerge into the real world as a strong, powerful, freethinking force of girl nature.

Then age kicks in.

Suddenly, you're 25, a mere quarter of a century old. Family and relatives have resorted to heaping on guilt and shame, making you feel like you've achievedabsolutely nothing in life and have made them loose face in society because you're not — oh, wait for this — married. And to top it all off, do you know that you've been labeled? Yes, labeled. You're a ‘sheng nu,' which translates to ‘leftover woman.'

The clock's a-ticking, your nagging folks claim.

You must push aside these so-called aspirations and ambitions that once they sought to instill in you and turn down that promotion. It's time to become a doe-eyed damsel and seek an able partner, an authoritative masculine energy to provide and save you from the cell of yourself, so you can cook a mean mapo tofu for dinner and deliver chubby kids for them to take care of.

The irony (and timeliness) of it all.

The hotly debated topic of women in China who are choosing to delay (or even avoid) marriage to focus on their education and careers was most recently the subject of a 4-minute, documentary-style commercial and viral campaign. Pioneered by Procter & Gamble skincare brand SK-II, it addresses this derogatory label, aiming to break the stigma for unmarried women who choose this path for themselves. The fi lm poetically shows the pressure these women face from their pillars to marry young. It then culminates in a touching, tear-jerking moment where we are urged to #ChangeDestiny, as these women stand up for themselves and to their parents.

Let's be honest here. When we throw women so many mixed messages at once, how can we possibly expect them to see the world clearly, or for that reason, know their self worth and empower them to be wives, mothers and citizens of tomorrow? Is this truly the message we want to pass on to our future generations?

In the wise words of feminist Mohadesa Najumi:The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.

It's a powerful message from a powerful brand, and one that's much needed in China.

To all the sheng nu's out there, wherever you may be, may your power fl ag fl y high above. And if and when you do fi nd love, it will be well worth the wait, as you will be your very best, fl anked by those who you truly love you for you. And that will be the purest love of all…

COLUMNIST'S PROFILELena Gidwani is a mother of a son and daughter, resident in Guangzhou for 13 years, self-confessed networker, magazine editor and an avid writer.Lena Gidwani是自由網絡工作者、雜志編輯和作家，在廣州居住了13年。

做21世紀的中國女人真難，不是嗎？

成長過程中，勸你自立自強的諄諄教誨不絕于耳。如今，你學歷高、經濟獨立，會瑜伽、會品酒，愛四處旅游，想看遍世間美景。你堅強、獨立、追求自由，在現實世界中披荊斬棘。

猝不及防，年齡到了。

你25歲了。家人的責備讓你于心有愧，好像你一無所成，令他們在人前蒙羞了，只因——你還未嫁。更可氣，你居然被喚作“剩女”。

現在，你必須把他們之前灌輸的雄心壯志統統丟開，做回天真少女，找個能干老公，然后乖乖在家做飯、生孩子。

聽起來多么諷刺。

在中國，因專注學業、工作而晚婚或不結婚的女性群體引起了熱議。最近，SK-II將這一題材拍成了營銷短片，希望為“剩女”洗雪恥辱。片中，當一群女性勇敢地站在父母面前，呼吁要改變命運時，情節走向了高潮。

女權主義者Mohadesa Najumi稱：“不需要他人認可的女性擁有最令人生畏的力量。”

“剩女”們，無論身處何方，都要高舉力量之旗！若能覓得真愛，一切等待都值得。你將成為最好的自己，擁有最純粹的愛。

SHENG NU, THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

Text by Lena Gidwani Image by CFP Translation by Emma Xu