幽默小故事

Bedtime Pray

Julie was saying her bedtime prayers.“Please God,”she said,“Make Naples the capital of Italy.Make Naples the capital of Italy.”

Her mother interrupted and said,“Julie,why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?”

Julie replied,“Because that’s what I put in my geography exam.”

睡前禱告

朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“求求上帝，”她說(shuō)，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”

她的媽媽打斷她，說(shuō)：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢？”

朱莉葉回答說(shuō)：“因?yàn)槲以诘乩砜季砩鲜沁@么寫的。”

Look Twenty Years Younger

When I was 28,I was teaching English to high school freshmen1in a school where the teachers were allowed to dress down occasionally2.

One day,I wore a T-shirt and slacks3.A student came in and his eyes widened.

“Wow!”he exclaimed4.“You should wear clothes like that every day.You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!”

年輕了20歲

28歲那年，我在一所高中教一年級(jí)學(xué)生英語(yǔ)。這所學(xué)校允許教職員工可以偶爾穿便裝。一天，我穿了一件運(yùn)動(dòng)衫和一條休閑褲。一個(gè)學(xué)生進(jìn)來(lái)看見(jiàn)后，瞪大了眼睛。

“哇！”他大呼小叫地說(shuō)：“你該天天這么穿。你看上去足足年輕了20歲，甚至30歲呢！”

Thin Walls

“The walls in our apartment are so thin that whenever our neighbors open their windows in winter,we are sure to catch a cold.”said A.

“The walls in our apartment are so thin that I once asked my wife a question and got three different answers.”said B.

“The walls in our apartment are so thin that whenever my wife peels onions,the people next door sneeze5.”said C.

薄墻壁

A說(shuō)：“我們的公寓墻壁太薄了，所以我們的鄰居在冬季無(wú)論什么時(shí)候開(kāi)門，我們肯定會(huì)感冒。”

B說(shuō)：“我們的公寓墻壁太薄了，所以一次我問(wèn)妻子一個(gè)問(wèn)題，卻得到了三個(gè)不同的答復(fù)。”

C說(shuō)：“我們的公寓墻壁太薄了，所以我的妻子無(wú)論什么時(shí)候切洋蔥，隔壁的人都會(huì)打噴嚏。”

Civil6Rights

On the first day of an American history class,the professor assigned7homework on civil rights.

The next day,he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights.When the student made no response,the professor said,“All right.Name five.”

Still the student said nothing.Finally,the professor said angrily,“Just name one right you have as a civilian.”

To a room full of laughter,the student replied,“I have the right to remain silent.”

公民的權(quán)利

第一天上美國(guó)歷史課時(shí)，教授布置有關(guān)公民權(quán)利的家庭作業(yè)。

第二天，教授要求一位學(xué)生列舉其中十種權(quán)利。那位學(xué)生沒(méi)有回答，教授說(shuō)：“好吧，說(shuō)出五種。”

那位學(xué)生還是一聲不吭，最后教授氣憤地說(shuō)：“那就只說(shuō)一種作為公民所擁有的權(quán)利吧。”

面對(duì)哄堂大笑，那位學(xué)生回答：“我有權(quán)利保持沉默。”

One Day Seems a Year

One day,a professor asked his students,“If you had only three days to live in this world, what would you do?”

Student A:I want to stay with my friends.

Student B:I want to go back to see my parents.

Student C:I will try my best to eat some delicious food.

Student D:Professor,I want to attend your lecture.

Hearing this,the professor was very moved.He thought that anyhow there was still a student who wanted to attend his lecture.Just at this moment,he wanted very much to know why the student liked his lecture.So the professor asked,“Can I know the reason?”

“Because when we are in your class,we feel that one day seems a year.”Answered student D.

度日如年

某日，一位教授問(wèn)他的學(xué)生：“假如你們只剩下三天時(shí)間可以活在這個(gè)世界上的話，你們會(huì)做些什么？”

學(xué)生A：我想和朋友待在一起。學(xué)生B：我想回家看父母。

學(xué)生C：我要使勁吃些美味的東西。

學(xué)生D：教授，我想聽(tīng)你講課。

聽(tīng)到這里教授非常感動(dòng)。心想，總算有學(xué)生愿意聽(tīng)自己的課。此時(shí)，他很想知道那位學(xué)生喜歡他講課的原因。于是，教授問(wèn)道：“我能知道原因嗎？”

“因?yàn)槲覀兟?tīng)教授的課有種度日如年的感覺(jué)。”學(xué)生D回答。

1.freshman[ ]n.（中學(xué)或大學(xué)的）一年級(jí)學(xué)生；新手

2.occasionally[ ]n.偶爾；偶然；有時(shí)候 3.slack[ ]n.寬松褲

4.exclaim[ ]n.呼喊；驚叫；大聲說(shuō) 5.sneeze[ ]v.打噴嚏

6.civil[ ]adj.公民的，市民的 7.assign[ ]v.布置；分派，分配