“曬”與不“曬”，這是一個問題

Don’t 1）brag， but be proud of what you’ve done. These two pieces of advice were tough to 2）balance long before Facebook existed， and the share-it-all nature of today’s social media world hasn’t made it any easier. It’s just difficult to draw a line between a 3）humble brag and straight-up bragging. But one thing we know for sure is that oversharing doesn’t do your friendships any favors—a new study out of Carnegie Mellon University 4）proves it.

To find out how social sharing 5）impacts our relationships， Professor George Loewenstein and his 6）colleagues 7）surveyed Amazon employees， dividing them into groups： 8）self-promoters and those who received that self-promotion. Both groups told stories about past experiences with bragging， and how it made them feel. The results？ When we 9）inform our 10）peers about our good experiences， we 11）tend to 12）predict their reactions incorrectly. So telling your friends about your great new job or early college 13）admission decision might make them proud of you， but not nearly as proud as you might think. On the other hand， even if you know your news might 14）bug your friends， you probably don’t know just how much.

Facebook， Twitter， and Instagram are awesome. But together， they make up our network of bragging， a place where we’re certainly in danger of oversharing. Once upon a time， only your family and close friends would be there to see you eagerly open presents on Christmas morning； now， the photo you take on your iPhone will likely become a 15）touched-up Instagram in about 15 seconds. Sure， it might seem like a barely 16）noticeable move. But your sharing behavior could easily be considered 17）annoying or even narcissistic.

不要吹噓，但要對自己的成就感到自豪。早在“臉譜”存在之前，這兩條建議就很難平衡，而到了今天這個什么都要拿來分享的年頭，平衡兩者的難度一點也沒有降低。要在謙虛的自夸和肆無忌憚的吹噓之間劃界線可不是一件易事。但有一件事我們是確定的，那就是過度分享對你和朋友之間的友情沒有什么益處—（美國）卡內(nèi)基梅隆大學的一項新研究證實了這一點。

為了弄清楚社交分享對人際關系的影響，喬治·羅文斯坦教授和他的同事對亞馬遜公司的員工進行了一項調(diào)查。他們把員工分成兩組：一組是自我推銷者，另一組是被推銷者。兩組人都要講出自己經(jīng)歷過的各種吹噓行為，還要說出自己的感受。結(jié)果如何？當我們向同輩描述自己的美好經(jīng)歷時，我們往往對他們的反應做出錯誤的估計。所以，當你告訴朋友你找到了一份新工作，或早早就收到大學錄取通知時，你的朋友或許會為你感到自豪，但這種感覺并沒有你想象中的那么強烈。另一方面，即使你料到這些消息可能會煩到朋友，但其干擾程度可能超出你的預料。

臉譜、推特和Instagram確實很棒。但它們組合在一起，就形成了一個“曬網(wǎng)絡”—我們在這個網(wǎng)絡中很容易出現(xiàn)過度分享的危險。從前，只有你的家人和密友可以看著你在圣誕節(jié)早晨興奮地拆禮物；而現(xiàn)在，你用iPhone拍的照片很可能在15秒內(nèi)就變成一張經(jīng)過美圖的Instagram分享。當然，這似乎只是一個無傷大雅的動作，但你的分享很容易被視作煩人的行為，甚至讓人覺得你很自戀。……