WEIBOWHACK

WEIBOWHACK

HEATED DEBATE

Every winter, a line is drawn in the sand. Northerners and southerners are divided, not by culture or creed, but by who gets heating. Places to the north of Qinling Mountain and Huaihe River are heated, while places to the south are not. This line was drawn in the 1950s when China lacked fuel. But the line isn’t drawn far south enough; it’s still brutally cold for anyone who isn’t in Guangdong, Hainan, or Yunnan. People living in southern provinces have long realized this is unfair, and where better to complain than Weibo? - DAVID DAWSON

魏三爺: 北方的冷是干冷，只要穿厚實捂嚴實就能抵御住嚴寒。而南方的冷是噬骨的濕冷，穿再多寒氣也能滲透進來。所以，供暖不能以海南的那種南為標準界定南方的冬天，這讓我們這些生活在不算南方的南方人每年都在寒冬中備受煎熬。

In the north it is cold and dry, so you can ward yourself against the cold as long as your clothes are thick enough. In the south it’s damp, and the chill goes into your bones no matter how thick your clothes are. To be exact, “the south”should be places like Hainan, but we southerners are suffering freezing winters from not being south enough.

大熊男神: 1.冬天是可以每天洗澡的；2.晚上睡覺也可以裸睡不需要穿保暖內衣的；3.不需要蓋兩床被子也不冷；4.冬天永遠不會凍手凍腳凍耳朵；5.走到哪都有暖氣；6.屋子里一定比屋外暖和；以上就是北方的冬天，南方人讀到第幾條忍不住流淚了？

1. You can take a shower everyday in the winter; 2. You can sleep naked without wearing thermal underwear; 3. You don’t need to have two layers of quilts; 3. You have never had frostbite on your hands, feet, or ears; 5. Everywhere you go there is heating; 6. It’s always warmer indoors than outdoors. That’s the northern winter. So, if you are a southerner, which one makes you cry?

暴走漫畫: 南方沒暖氣才是最大的南北差異！豆腐腦兒甜咸根本就不是事！

The biggest difference between the south and the north is whether there is heating, not whether tofu jelly is sweet or salty.

湖北衛視: 北方取暖靠暖氣，南方取暖靠正氣。In the north one feels warm from the heating, and in the south one feels warm from being brave.

JAPANESE DRAMAS REFUSE TO DIE

In 2013, SARFT cracked down on anti-Japanese themed TV shows. For years they had been seen as a “safe” topic for studios to go overboard with, but perhaps seeing Chinese soldiers shoot three Japanese dead with a single arrow or kill them with just a slap was getting to be a bit much, even for the authorities. SARFT banned most of the newly made anti-Japanese dramas so that “history can get its due respect”. Evidently history has had enough respect, because the ban has been lifted. According to Gao Mantang, a famous script writer: “There are about 50 TV show casts in Hengdian (China’s biggest fi lm base) busy killing the Japanese invaders.” - D.D.

PLA: “YOU MORONS”

When Guangzhou-based newspaper the Southern Weekly basically labeled Chinese soldiers as cheap to equip compared to the US, the People’s Liberation Army (PLA), perhaps unsurprisingly, was not happy. After the publication said that it cost around 9,400 RMB to equip a soldier—around ten percent of the cost of equipping an American soldier—the PLA posted a scathing criticism of the report online, with a point by point rebuttal. The Wall Street Journal translated the PLA’s online response, which was far from measured. It said, “one should know that even criticism needs to be done professionally and is not something any moron can pull off by smacking one’s water-fi lled brain.”. - D.D.

安俊king： 那些數據擺出來能怎么樣？解放軍的單兵作戰系統和國際一流就是有差距的嘛！這是事實啊！“黑”和“吹”都沒意義！

So what? The equipment of PLA soldiers is indeed far worse than first class by international standards. It’s the truth, no matter how you slander or boast about it.

山頂的高山： 這有什么好爭的，軍方公布一下標配就可以了。難道說又是軍事機密？

What’s the fuss? Can’t the PLA just make the details of standard equipment public? Or is this confidential again?

勾魂電眼李明博： 解放軍裝備方面的問題多了去了，偏偏全黑得不在點上，也是極不容易的！

The PLA’s equipment has a lot of problems, and the Southern

Weekly did a very skillful job not to point out any of them correctly.

封堵不住的嘴： 地球人都知道，現代劇、古裝劇、穿越劇、喜劇 、悲劇都會有意無意觸碰“敏感瓷”，只有抗日劇最保險最能獲得通過。

It is common sense that other genres of TV shows—whether contemporary, ancient, time travelling, comedy, tragedy—can all be “sensitive”, and only anti-Japanese shows are safest and most likely to go through censorship （easily）.

俞心樵： 唉，日子平淡無奇，太不刺激了，我又想跟著我軍主力部隊前去橫店抗日了。

Oh my life bores me. I need something exciting, such as fighting against the Japanese with my country’s armies in Hengdian.

嚴鋒： 很難理解現在那些抗日神劇，殺鬼子像割麥子切西瓜那么順溜。這更像惡搞和高級黑。

Those insane anti-Japanese dramas make fighting a war as easy as harvesting wheat or cutting a watermelon. These are more like bad-taste jokes and crafted satire.

時艱： 抗戰不是8年，而是77年。1945年后，中國媒體和電視臺接過抗日大旗，一打就是69年。這場人類歷史上最為曠日持久的戰爭，在橫店在無數影視基地慘烈進行，絲毫沒有結束的跡象。問家里成天守著抗日劇的老人為什么不看點別的，回答也挺讓人無語：還有啥可看的？

The anti-Japanese war lasted not for eight years, but 77 years. After 1945, Chinese media and TV stations took over and continued the war for 69 years. This war of unprecedented length is fought in the numerous film bases in Hengdian without any sign that it will end. I asked old people who watched nothing but anti-Japanese dramas at home why they don’t watch something else, and they replied, “Do we have other options?”