《合唱團》：讓一個國家歌唱

Host： Every once in a while， as you all well know， a program arrives on television that changes the shape of a genre， the ambitions of a slot and the careers of those who work on it， and The Choir did that thing. On our screens in 2006 it featured the externally mild-mannered， but actually made of titanium with bolts on， choirmaster，…

Gareth： Ruthless， ruthless.

Host： …ruthless and steely， who was going to change the way that we think about singing in this country.

（Clips from The Choir）

Gareth： Good afternoon everyone. Anyone interested in singing？ I’m starting a choir. Can you sing？

Man A： No. Of course not.

Gareth： Not at all？

Man A： No.

Boy A： Why are you singing？ Boring， isn’t it？ It’s like church singing. Church singing’s boring， right？

Man B： No...no， I don’t sing.

Gareth： You’re sure？

Man B： Yeah.

Boy A： It’s gay.

Gareth： They’re running away.

Boy B： Singing is gay.

Gareth： “Three Blind Mice”？

Man A： No.

Gareth： Anyone at all from South Oxhey interested in singing？

主持人：大家都知道，每隔一段時間，電視上就會出現那么一檔節目，它會改變某一類節目的形式、一檔電視節目的野心和那些為之奮斗的人們的事業，《合唱團》就是這樣一檔節目。2006年我們的熒幕上出現了一檔外表看來溫和輕松，實則尖銳緊張的節目。主持這檔節目的是……

蓋瑞斯：殘酷的，無情的。

主持人：……一位“殘酷冷血”的歌唱指揮，他野心勃勃，想要改變這個國家對于歌唱的看法。

（《合唱團》節目片段）

蓋瑞斯：大家下午好，有人對唱歌感興趣嗎？我正組織一個合唱團。你會唱歌嗎？

男人甲：不會，我不會唱。

蓋瑞斯：一點兒也不會？

男人甲：不會。

男孩甲：你為什么要唱歌？唱歌好無聊。就像教堂里的唱詩班，那很無聊，不是嗎？

男人乙：不，我不唱歌。

蓋瑞斯：你確定？

男人乙：是的。

男孩甲：娘娘腔才唱歌。

蓋瑞斯：他們跑開了。

男孩乙：唱歌是娘娘腔才做的事。

蓋瑞斯：《三只盲鼠》呢？

男人甲：不會唱。

蓋瑞斯：南奧西就沒有人對唱歌感興趣嗎？

Gareth： I’m here to start a choir.

Four of the nation’s busiest workplaces…Gareth： I don’t think anyone has ever said they’re gonna have to squeeze in the audition between caesarean sections.

…competing to become Gareth’s best workplace choir. Gareth： Each choir in this whole contest is supposed to be different， and it’s supposed to feel like the company， and when I look at Geoff， the chef， and Grant， I really feel like I’m seeing 1）PO Ferries， and…and it would be very tempting to just go for all the people that work in the office and sing nicely， but what I want is that you hear a sound that sounds like the sea.

Helloowwww！

Choir （Workers from PO Ferries）： Helloowwww！

Gareth： Hello. Welcome to your first rehearsal. Before we start， we need to get you into position. I would like all the 2）sopranos on 3）port side. I’d like the 4）basses on 5）starboard side， and I’d like the 6）tenors mid-ship on the starboard side. Go.

Gareth wants them to choose their first song themselves， something that reflects their company.

Gareth： OK. Any ideas of a song that could represent PO Ferries？

Man A： “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay.”Gareth： Do you all know it？ Let’s sing it.

Choir： “Sitting on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll away.”

Gareth： How many of you actually spend a lot of time sitting on the dock？

Woman A： “Don’t Stop me Now” by Queen， ’cause we’re always crossing， 45 times a day…

Gareth： Alright， that’s a great song. It does include the lyric， “I’m a sex machine ready to explode.”

Woman B： Cliff Richard “We’re all going on a summer holiday…”

Gareth： We’re all…I love that song. You know you want to sing it.

Choir ： “We’re all going on a summer holiday/No more working for a week or two.”

Man B： There’s nothing summery about our ferry trips.

Gareth： Put that man in charge of marketing. Yes， sir.

Man C： “Rock the Boat.”

Gareth： Oh， how’s that go？

Choir： “Rock the boat/Don’t rock the boat baby/Rock the boat/Don’t tip the boat over/Rock the boat/Don’t rock the boat baby/Rock the boat.”

Gareth： That’s good. I mean that kind of gets to the whole point， doesn’t it？

蓋瑞斯：我是來這組建一個合唱團的。全國最繁忙的四個工作場所……

蓋瑞斯：我不記得有誰說過他們得在兩臺剖腹產手術間擠出時間來試唱。……來競爭成為蓋瑞斯的最佳工作場所合唱團。

蓋瑞斯：整個比賽中，我希望每個合唱團都有自己的特點，能代表他們公司的特點。當我見到主廚杰夫和格蘭特的時候，我仿佛就看到了半島東方輪渡公司。將在辦公室工作的人們組成合唱團，效果肯定不錯，這很吸引我，但我想要你們能聽見大海的聲音。