弗瑞德的現(xiàn)代成人禮儀式

It all started with a box set of Roots we had picked up at a 2)car-boot sale. I watched the first episode with my son and he seemed quite taken with the part where the young Kunta Kinte goes off into the forest with a dozen other adolescent boys for “manhood training”—specific tests of strength， bravery and hunting skills—3)culminating in an eye-watering 4)circumcision with a 5)two-pronged knife.

Why not set him a 21st-century， Western(pain-free) equivalent， I thought. Fred was just a few weeks away from his 13th birthday， which seemed like an important turning point. He was eager for more freedom and independence， pushing to go to bed later， have more pocket money， not have a babysitter， cycle to random far-off places and go to football matches without an adult. But did he have the maturity and 6)worldliness to be granted these things? Let’s put him to the test， I thought. Now seemed the perfect time to make sure he had the skills needed for a more grown-up life.

一切都始于我們?cè)谄囆欣钕涞呐f貨賣會(huì)上買到的一套電視劇集：《根》。我和兒子一起看了第一集，他似乎被年紀(jì)輕輕的昆塔·肯特和其他十多個(gè)少年一起進(jìn)入森林進(jìn)行“成年訓(xùn)練”的情節(jié)所吸引。所謂“成年訓(xùn)練”，包括對(duì)力量、勇氣和狩獵技能的具體測試，割禮是其終極的訓(xùn)練方式。用一把雙叉尖刀進(jìn)行的割禮簡直讓人慘不忍睹。

我心里琢磨著，為什么不給兒子來一個(gè)21世紀(jì)的、西式的（無痛）“成人訓(xùn)練”呢？再過幾個(gè)星期，弗瑞德就要過13歲生日了，這似乎是他生命中一個(gè)重要的拐點(diǎn)。他渴望更多的自由和獨(dú)立，要求可以晚睡，想要更多的零花錢，不再需要保姆，希望可以騎自行車去任意一個(gè)遙遠(yuǎn)的地方并在沒有成人監(jiān)護(hù)的情況下去觀看足球比賽。然而他已經(jīng)成熟老練到可以獲準(zhǔn)去做這些事情了嗎？我想，還是讓我們來考考他。現(xiàn)在看來也是時(shí)候去考驗(yàn)他是否已經(jīng)具備成年人生活所必備的技能了。

However to get him fully on board， I knew I would have to invent a rite of passage that would appeal to a modern 13-year-old who already had his boxers permanently on show. After all， this was a boy who hated sustained effort and 7)shied away from any kind of system or daily 8)ritual.

To engage and motivate him， I decided to put a sort of life-as-a-game spin on the whole thing. There would be 13 challenges covering 13 different areas of life， and each challenge would 9)arbitrarily contain the number 13 in some way if possible. I even bought 13 brightly coloured envelopes in which to present the tasks to him， one by one.

Challenge one: Get on a train on your own. Get off at the 13th stop. Go to a sit-down cafe or restaurant. Order the 13th item on the menu. Then buy yourself a whole 10)outfit with ￡13.13.

I am not， of course， randomly releasing him into the wild. I have secretly 11)micromanaged the whole thing. We are going to put him on a train at a particular rural station and after two hours， he will end up in Hereford—a city he has never visited. I buy him a ticket and order him not to look at the destination. I am feeling quite uneasy， but as the train pulls away， I smile and think of Kunta Kinte’s mother’s words when her son is taken from the village: “A boy has just left， a man will return.”

然而要讓兒子乖乖地接受這個(gè)測驗(yàn)，我知道還得想出一個(gè)有趣的成人禮儀式，才能吸引這個(gè)已敢于長期顯擺自己平腳內(nèi)褲的13歲男孩。畢竟，這個(gè)男孩討厭持之以恒的努力，并回避任何類型的制度或日常的慣例程式。

為了引起他的興趣并激勵(lì)他，我決定把整件事情放置在一種“人生如游戲”的氛圍中進(jìn)行。在這個(gè)測驗(yàn)里會(huì)有13個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)，這13個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)涵蓋人生中的13個(gè)不同領(lǐng)域，如果有可能的話，每個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)還會(huì)任意以某種方式包含13這個(gè)數(shù)字。……