HUMOROUS STORIES

Mr and Mrs Brown lived in a small house with their child. Sometimes Mr Brown came back from work very late，when his wife and the child were asleep，he opened the front door of his house with his key and came in very quietly.

But one night when he was coming home late，he lost his key，so when he reached his house，he rang the bell. Nothing happened. He rang it again，and nothing happened—nobody moved inside the house. Mr Brown knocked at the bedroom window，he spoke to his wife，he shouted，but she did not wake up. At last，he stopped and thought for a few seconds. Then he began to speak like a small child.“Mother！”he said，“I want to go to the lavatory（衛(wèi)生間）！”He spoke quite quietly，but at once，Mrs Brown woke up.Then he spoke to her，and she opened the door for him.

Three people were walking along a street，first a tall man，then a pretty woman，and then an old gentleman. The first two went round a corner. Suddenly the gentleman saw a piece of five－pound money on the ground. He picked it up. A few seconds later，the young woman came back and cried，“I have dropped five pounds.”

“Don?蒺t cry，”said the gentleman.“Here it is.”The young woman thanked him and went away.

After a few seconds，the tall man came back. He was looking for something. Suddenly a window opened and a small man looked out.“I saw five pounds fall from your pocket，”he said，“but that man gave it to a young woman.”The tall man got very angry. The gentleman was frightened and gave him another five pounds.

At last the tall man，the young woman and the small man shared（瓜分） the five pounds.

Mrs Jones was waiting for an important telephone call，but she had no bread in the house，so she left the baby at home and said to his five－year－old brother，“I am going shopping，Jimmy，and I will be back in a few minutes.”

While she was out，the telephone rang，and Jimmy answered.“Hello，”said a man，“is your mother there？”

“No，”answered Jimmy.

“Well，when she comes back，say to her Mr Baker telephoned.”

“What?”

“Mr Baker. Write it down. B-A-K-E-R.”

“I don?蒺t know how to write.”

“Then，is there anybody else with you？Any brothers or sisters？”

“My brother Billy is here.”

“Good，I want to talk to him，please.”

“All right.”Jimmy took the phone to the baby?蒺s bed and give it to Billy. When their mother came back，she asked，“Did anyone telephone？”

“Yes，”said Jimmy，“a man. But he only wanted to talk to Billy.”

Jimmy was four years old and he was a naughty（頑皮的） boy. Every day after lunch his mother took him to his bedroom and put him on his bed to rest for an hour. But Jimmy never slept and usually he made a lot of noise and got off his bed every few mimutes.

One afteroon，Jimmy?蒺s mother put him on his bed and then went to her bedroom to do some sewing. After ten minutes，she heard a noise，so she went to Jimmy?蒺s room. He was not there，but his trousers were lying on his bed.

She looked in the other rooms upstairs，but he was not there either，so she went to the top of the stairs and shouted down angrily，“Are you running about down there without your trousers？”

“No，madam，”answered a man?蒺s voice.“I have brought your vegetables—and I am wearing my trousers.”