對面惡女看過來

一家三口從美國中部搬到了西部的加州，要適應其中的變化也真不容易。妹妹Bianca外向、活潑可愛，總是想方設法讓自己變成學校里的小明星;姐姐Kat則憤世嫉俗，處處與別人作對，有點像怪物。于是，兩姐妹的矛盾可想而知。該劇正是圍繞這對小姐妹展開的。

Anxious VS Harsh

(On the way to school on the first day， Bianca was touching on her makeup.)

Kat: We’re headed to high school， not the Academy Awards.

Bianca: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Kat: Please， we’re talking about teenagers that are impressed by shiny objects.

Bianca: Thus my earrings.

Kat: You could just try being yourself.

Bianca: Spoken like a true unpopular person.

Kat: Hmmm.

Bianca: That never works. Using 1)exhaustive Facebook research， I’ve identified the most popular girl at school. I then deconstructed her profile and used that data to carefully plot out our first encounter so as to easily befriend and 2)beguile her.

Kat: Beguile? Big word， Shakespeare!

(At dinner table)

Bianca: You’ve ruined my chances at being popular!

Kat: I’m sorry， but that girl sucks! She’s a teenage Kim Jong-Il!

Bianca: Speak English， you showoff!

Kat: Kim Jong-Il， the dictator of North Korea， Dad!

Bianca: North Korea， so what? I’m talking about our high school where I’m going to become unpopular! My life isn’t worth living.

Kat: Yes， it’s way worse than having bound feet or wearing a 3)burka.

Bianca: English!

Dad: Enough! Bianca， honey， look， I know you’re upset， but Kat’s right…

Bianca: What?

Dad: …sometimes you get a little obsessed with popularity. Just keep things 4)in perspective， that’s all.

(At the breakfast table)

Kat: We’re the world’s last superpower and yet we don’t have universal healthcare.

Dad: Are you talking to me or the Democrats in your head?

Bianca: Dad， have you seen that box of old piano sheet music?

Dad: Uh， no honey， why?

Bianca: Well， since I’m not going to be popular， I guess I’ll join show choir， closeted gay guys are fun.

Dad: She doesn’t seem like herself.

Kat: I know， isn’t it great? Come on， Dad， she’s obsessed with what other people think! Mom would not approve.

Dad: You know， your mother saw Bianca’s ability to fearlessly dive into any social situation as one of her best traits.

Kat: She did?

Dad: She did. She also loved your respect for others and your sense of fairness， which is why I find it strange that someone so passionate about universal healthcare could lack any compassion for her own sister.

Kat: Wow， you’re good.

Dad: No， you’re the one played the dead Mom card， I just served it back.

Goody-goody VS Popularity

(At home)

Dad: Honey， something wrong?

Bianca: I’m in the middle of a major crisis. Chastity thinks I’m a goody-goody， which means soon the whole school will.

Kat: That is a major crisis. Ranks right up there with the global recession and the collapse of the 5)Arctic shelf. Let’s turn on the radio， see if 6)Bono wrote a song about you.

Dad: 7)Sarcasm never helps. You should be proud of yourself， Bianca， a good reputation can take you places in politics， in business， in this house.

Bianca: Dad， we’re in California now， home to medical 8)marijuana， the Kardashians， the panty-less crotch flash. Good girls don’t sit at the popular table.

Kat: Maybe it wouldn’t bother you so much if your self-esteem wasn’t based on what other people think.

Bianca: See that’s why you have no social life. I need to change my image. I’ve narrowed it down to getting a lip 9)stud， dyeing my hair pink， or dressing like a Pussycat Doll.

Dad: No face-piercing， no alternative hair colors， no…what’s a Pussycat Doll?

Kat: They’re multi-hyphenates…strippers who sing.

Dad: Why not tell people you’re a 10)groupie? Or one of those White House interns? Or some idiot who gives birth to a baby at the prom， and they didn’t even know they were pregnant.

Bianca: That is a genius idea， Dad， thanks. I can tell everyone I’ve had a baby! Huh!

Kat: Way to go， Grandpa. Oh， she’s going to hate those pretend stretch-marks.

Dad: Funny.

(At school)

Bianca: I have a big fat favor to ask. Can I lie and say I’m at your house after school?

Student A: If it’s for a good reason.

Bianca: Well， I’m dating this older guy and my dad would 11)freak if he found out.

Student A: How much older is older?

Bianca: Twenty-six. Or maybe 31， it’s hard to tell. He feels weird about the age difference. It’s adorable!

Student A: Wow， the oldest guy I’ve ever been with was my camp counselor.

Bianca: I know what you’re going to say， “Bianca， this can’t go anywhere.” And you’re right， but he’s so hot， and when he blows on my neck I…I， I’ve already said too much. Promise you won’t tell?

Student A: Come on. Bianca， you can totally trust me.

(In classroom)

Student B: Bianca， if I were to buy a book about a girl named Bianca and an older guy， where would I find it， fiction or non-fiction?

Bianca: Oh definitely non-fiction.

Student B: So it’s non-true?

Bianca: No， it’s true.

Student B: Cool， dating older dudes is a textbook supermodel maneuver.

Flower VS Cactus

(At night)

Dad: She’s late for 12)curfew!

Kat: Release the 13)hounds.

Dad: You think that’s funny? Hounds were on my to-do list.

Kat: Dad， relax， she’s at a soccer game. The odds of her being kidnapped and sold into slavery are very slim.

Dad: Thanks for bringing that up. I was just worried she was in a car accident.

Kat: Sorry.

Dad: She’s my little flower.

Kat: If she’s your little flower， what am I?

Dad: You are my big tough cactus.

Kat: Green， spiny， and 14)phallic， that’s great， Dad.

Dad: What I mean is， someone messes with you， you stab ’em. Plus cactuses are never out late on a school night trying to 15)pollinate.

Kat: Our correct name is 16)cacti.

Dad: (To Bianca) Thank god you’re home safe so I can kill you.

(Bianca prepares dinner.)

Bianca: OK， you can peek.

Dad: Bianca， this looks amazing!

Bianca: Shouldn’t we say grace?

Kat: We haven’t said grace since you stopped using your Pocahontas fork.

Bianca: Let us pray. Thank you Lord for this bountiful harvest， and bless the underprivileged and teenage children in new high schools， amen.

Kat: OK， Bianca， what gives?

Dad: Kat， please. OK， Bianca， what gives?

Bianca: Well， Daddy， I’ve been thinking about my faith a lot recently， ever since I met this great group of kids at school. Speaking of which， they invited me to this killer Bible study tonight， can I go?

Kat: And the Oscar goes to…Bianca Stratford for lying to her father!

Bianca: Zip it， Satan! Dad， I’d really hate to miss it， I think tonight I get my purity ring!

Dad: And I think tonight you’ll be home with the purity security.

Kat: Dad， is it OK if I go out? There’s a foreign film festival. I wanted to check out.

Dad: Well， I don’t see why not.

Bianca: That’s it?! When I go out I have to file flight plans with the 17)FAA， but she gets to go out no questions asked?

Dad: Gonna drink?

Kat: No.

Dad: Drugs?

Kat: No.

Dad: Sex?

Kat: Gross.

Dad: (To Bianca) Satisfied?

(Bianca snuck out to a party and gets got.)

Kat: Dad already knew you snuck out， there’s nothing I could do.

Bianca: So we both screw up and I’m the only one that gets screwed? I don’t think so. Dad， there’s something you should know.

Dad: Nah， I’m not in the mood for excuses， Bianca， you need to learn to be more responsible like your sister.

Bianca: You mean my older sister? The one I’m supposed to look up to and 18)emulate? The trustworthy daughter. Would you like to know what little Miss Perfect did tonight? She， she went to a…movie that featured full-frontal 19)nudity.

Dad: It’s not the same as deceiving your father.

Bianca: Fine.

Dad: What am I going to do about her?

Kat: How about 20)cut her some slack? I wouldn’t drive her to that party tonight so she snuck out. She just wanted to have some fun.

Dad: Yeah， but you don’t want to have fun.

Kat: I have fun sometimes.

Dad: Sure， but you go to film festivals and things like that.

Kat: Not always.

Dad: I’m just saying that’s why you’re my trusty dependable cactus. What?

Kat: This is my fake I.D. I went and saw a band play at a seedy club tonight. Plus， I went alone. Horrific things could have happened to me.

Dad: Why are you showing me this?

Kat: Because I don’t want to be a cactus.

印象論

(第一天在上學的路上，比安卡在化妝。)

凱特:我們是去上高中，不是出席奧斯卡頒獎典禮。

比安卡:留下第一印象的機會只有一次。

凱特:拜托了，我們在說的是一群青少年，他們只會被閃閃發亮的東西吸引。

比安卡:所以我戴了耳環。

凱特:你大可以表現真實的自我啊。

比安卡:說話就像個完全沒名氣的人。

凱特:對。

比安卡:那從來不管用。我在“臉譜”交友網進行了徹底地搜索，查出了學校里最受歡迎的女生。我終于整理出了她的檔案，并通過這些精心設計了我們初次見面的場景。這樣就能很輕易地成為她的朋友， 并且誘騙她。

凱特:“誘騙”? 用詞不俗啊，莎士比亞大人。

(晚飯時)

比安卡:你毀了我成名的機會!

凱特:抱歉，但是那個女生糟透了，她就像是青少年版的金正日。

比安卡:說英語，臭顯擺!

凱特:金正日，朝鮮的最高領導人，爸爸。

比安卡:朝鮮!那又怎么樣?我說的是我們高中，我在那兒肯定不受歡迎了，我的人生沒有意義了。

凱特:那是，比裹腳和穿長袍還慘。

比安卡:說英語!

父:好了。比安卡，寶貝，我知道你很郁悶，但是凱特是對的……

比安卡:你說什么?

父:……有時你太想出名了，一定要正確看待事物。就這樣。

(早餐時)