一個伊朗女子的生死日記

2009年6月20日，伊朗一群為自由而戰的斗士在與政府的暴力沖突中死傷無數，其中一名被殺害者是一個名叫Neda的伊朗女子。以下是當天和她一同參加示威游行并稱其為“姐姐”的一位伊朗德黑蘭女大學生，在游行前一晚和游行當天在博客上寫下的讓人百感交集的日記……

“Neda”在波斯語里有“聲音”和“號召”的意思，從第二篇日記里的一些用詞可以推斷出該博主與Neda并無血緣關系，兩人是因為共同的理想而站在了同一陣線上。

——Lavender

The First Post

Written on June 19th， 2009

I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to get killed. I’m listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes， maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow! There are a few great movie scenes that I also have to see. I should drop by the library， too. It’s worth it to read the poems of 1)Forough and 2)Shamlu again. All family pictures have to be reviewed， too. I have to call my friends as well to say goodbye. All I have are two bookshelves， which I told my family， who should receive them. I’m two units away from getting my bachelors degree but who cares about that. My mind is very chaotic. I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so they know we were not just emotional and under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mongols but did not surrender to 3)despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow’s children...

The Second Post

Written on June 20th， 2009

Yesterday I wrote a note， with the subject line “tomorrow is a great day perhaps tomorrow I’ll be killed.” I’m here to let you know I’m alive but my sister was killed...

I’m here to tell you my sister died while in her father’s arms.

I’m here to tell you my sister had big dreams...

I’m here to tell you my sister who died was a decent person... and， like me， yearned for a day when her hair would be swept by the wind... and， like me， read “Forough”... and longed to live free and equal... and she longed to hold her head up and announce， “I’m Iranian”... and she longed to one day fall in love with a man with 4)shaggy hair... and she longed for a daughter to braid her hair and sing 5)lullabies by her crib... my sister died from not having a life... my sister died as injustice has no end... my sister died since she loved life too much... and my sister died since she lovingly cared for people... my loving sister， I wish you had closed your eyes when your time had come... the very end of your last glance burns my soul... sister， have a short sleep， your last dream be sweet.

第一篇日記

寫于2009年6月19日

我將參加明天的示威游行。或許那些游行會演變成暴力沖突，或許我會成為被害者之一。我正聽著所有自己最愛的音樂，甚至想隨著其中幾首歌的旋律起舞……我總希望自己的眉毛可以細點兒。對，在游行前，或許我該去趟美發店!我還得重溫好幾個精彩電影場景。我還應該去趟圖書館，Forough和Shamlu的詩歌值得再拜讀一下。家人的所有照片我要再看一遍。我要給朋友們打電話，向他們告別。除了兩個書架以外，我別無他物，我已經跟家人說好讓誰來接收。還差兩個單元的課程，我就能獲得學士學位了，可是誰還在乎呢。我頭腦一片混亂。我在這里東一句西一句地寫著，為的是讓下一代人知道，我們并不只是感情用事，也非出于同儕壓力而行事;為的是讓他們知道，我們盡了一切所能給他們創造一個更美好的未來;為的是讓他們知道，我們的祖先曾降服于阿拉伯人和蒙古人，卻從未降服于專制統治。這篇日記是獻給未來的孩子們的……