紐約婚禮見聞（一）

六月的時(shí)候我飛去紐約，參加了閨蜜盛大的婚禮。對(duì)我這個(gè)在過(guò)去幾年間參加了無(wú)數(shù)友人們的婚禮、導(dǎo)致審美疲勞的人來(lái)說(shuō)，這次的婚禮的確是一抹亮色。我猜最最吸引我的，是婚禮背后不同的文化背景吧。

伴郎（groomsman）和伴娘(bridesmaid)

西方人在挑選伴郎和伴娘的人選時(shí)，是非常苛刻的。首先，新人要優(yōu)先考慮選自己的兄弟姐妹這種有血緣關(guān)系的人來(lái)做伴郎、伴娘。如果你是獨(dú)生子女，那么伴郎伴娘一定要從最好的朋友中挑選。如果婚禮規(guī)模比較盛大，伴郎和伴娘可能不止一對(duì)。我這次參加的婚禮，就是伴郎、伴娘總共四對(duì)。通常來(lái)講，如果你有多位伴郎、伴娘的話，新人還要在男方女方中各選出一位和自己關(guān)系最親密的人，作為榮譽(yù)伴娘（the maid of honor）和榮譽(yù)伴郎（the best man）。在婚禮上，這兩個(gè)人分別站在新人的身邊，伴郎還同時(shí)被稱為the ring bearer，專門負(fù)責(zé)替新郎保管雙方的婚戒。

榮譽(yù)伴郎（the best man）

今天我們聚焦的重點(diǎn)人物，是新郎的好兄弟——榮譽(yù)伴郎史蒂芬。要說(shuō)史蒂芬在婚禮當(dāng)中的表現(xiàn)可不是蓋的！要是在Wedding Party這幫人當(dāng)中，評(píng)選出幾個(gè)特殊貢獻(xiàn)獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)的話，他絕對(duì)可以拿個(gè)超級(jí)無(wú)敵稱職獎(jiǎng)。

史蒂芬是個(gè)很開朗健談的人，第一次見到他，就是在忙碌的人群中被他揪住說(shuō)的話:

Steve:“是Sally嗎？我是Steve。能在這里見到你真好！謝謝你提前教我說(shuō)那句中文，我覺(jué)得我說(shuō)的還蠻煞有介事的，哈哈……”

Sally:“是嗎？那太好了。對(duì)了，我不得不說(shuō)，你寫的致詞簡(jiǎn)直太牛了！非常專業(yè)，而且面面俱到！”

Steve:“那是、那是，我可是做了很多功課的呢。哈哈。”

Sally:“嗯，功課沒(méi)白做，都把我給看哭了，夠煽情的。哦對(duì)了，戒指是由你保管吧，呵呵？”

Steve:“那是，兩個(gè)都在我這兒呢！除了戒指，我還特意備了些‘秘密小武器’呢……” 他越說(shuō)越起勁兒，如數(shù)家珍地搬出了各種小道具，“這個(gè)清口噴霧，是為了新郎親吻新娘準(zhǔn)備的。餐巾紙包是以備不時(shí)之需。今天激動(dòng)的人一定特別多，擦眼淚就用的著了……” 感情Steve也是個(gè)Mommy型的心細(xì)男生啊！這，這……連我們女孩兒都沒(méi)想到！真是難為他了。

為了準(zhǔn)備祝酒詞，史蒂芬可是下足了工夫。先是專門買來(lái)相關(guān)寫作書籍，閉門潛心鉆研。又在動(dòng)筆之前特意飛到休斯頓，在準(zhǔn)新郎、新娘那里小住了一周時(shí)間，以搜集齊備各種信息資源。他老人家早在八百年前開始著手寫稿，早在七百年前就將揚(yáng)揚(yáng)灑灑的千字祝福背了個(gè)滾瓜爛熟。那天他無(wú)比興奮地告訴我，為了做到精益求精，他還在家中專門用DV自拍了短片，用來(lái)反復(fù)推敲自己的鏡頭感覺(jué)。這分明比專業(yè)演員還要敬業(yè)嘛！簡(jiǎn)直讓我崇拜不已。

細(xì)心的史蒂芬為了讓女方父母第一時(shí)間讀懂自己的祝詞，早在六百年前就提前布置人馬進(jìn)行了英譯中的工作。宴會(huì)還沒(méi)開始，祝酒詞的普通話版本文字稿，就已靜靜地候在桌前，等待凌凌父母審閱了。當(dāng)然，為了可以讓二老聽到親切的鄉(xiāng)音，史蒂芬早在五百年前就向我詢問(wèn)并學(xué)習(xí)了“幸福美滿”的中文讀法。果然，在經(jīng)過(guò)了這一切的精心準(zhǔn)備之后，榮譽(yù)伴郎情深款款、幽默詼諧的祝酒詞一經(jīng)出爐，就引來(lái)了眾人陣陣熱烈的掌聲。

史蒂芬的致詞

【原聲重現(xiàn)】

Ling and Erik... please join me here for a moment.As I start my speech， if anyone would feel more comfortable reading， Vivian and Sally were kind enough to translate both Lori and my speech into Mandarin Chinese and you can find copies of our speeches on your tables.

Ling Erik，

My name is Stephen Levine and it is my honor to be Erik's best man.

I'd like to start by thanking Mr. and Mrs. Li for hosting such a beautiful wedding and reception.Because of distance and a language barrier， I haven't had as much of an opportunity as I would have liked to have gotten to know you over the years... but if how a child turns out is any measure of a parent， the loving， kind， supportive， patient and generous woman that Ling has become is the result of her upbringing in your household.And I think we all see the value Ling has in the importance of a close and strong family， by asking Erik's sister Lori to be her maid of honor. And for raising her so well， and allowing my friend to find a woman as good as Ling， for that， both Erik's family and friends thank you.

I'd also like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Sondersted for their hard work and support in making today a special day.I've known them for over a decade now and they have always opened their home to me over the years.They taught Erik the importance of strong moral conviction and strength of character and provided him with the backbone that allowed him to grow into the man he is today.

I'd also like to thank all of Ling's and Erik's family and friends here today that I did not mention.Your presence here means so much to Ling and Erik and I know some of you have traveled great distances to be here today.

For those of you who don't know， Erik and I met in college at Bucknell University one of the first week's of school when we were both Freshman.It turned out that we both lived in the same dorm building， though Erik was on the 3rd floor， which was for students that requested to live on a “substance free” hall and I lived on the 4th floor， which was for students that did NOT request to live on a substance free hall. As my parents are in the room right now， of course most of my time was spent studying and preparing for the hard courseload that college threw at me... but for the couple minutes a day when I wasn't studying， most of my days hanging out with Erik， Joel Toluba who is also in the wedding party today and the rest of the hall were spent doing what college kids do... watching movies， having a catch， ordering a pizza at midnight and just hanging out... what I didn't realize or fully appreciate at the time though， is that the bets we would make over Nintendo or going to Hoss's， a local steakhouse， and rotating who's birthday it was that night to get the free cake and get embarrassed by 10 waiters singing to you， would lead to lifelong friendships and many， many stories.

I think it was over the summer and winter breaks， when both Erik and I would return to Long Island and meet up for a movie at the Commack multiplex， or make a couple bets over a round of golf at Sunken Meadow， when we started to feel more like brothers than close friends.During college， we roomed together our junior and senior years， joined the same fraternity， even studied abroad in the same country... and then later moving into the city together when we were both just starting our careers and our lives.

After living together for a year， I fell in love with living in New York and ended up staying in Manhattan for 7 years， just leaving last month as my girlfriend and I are taking a next step together in our own relationship just as Ling and Erik are taking another step together today. Whereas Erik became tired of paying $1200 a month and sleeping in a room literally 7x9 overlooking a brick wall on the fifth floor of a walkup building and he decided to move to Jersey City.Being a social person， Erik had no problem making new friends at Avalon Cove， and it was there that he met friends like Andrew Hiner， Henrick Mose and Yoanna Koleva， who are also in the wedding party.

Erik lived in a four bedroom apartment and I remember that he took it on as his responsibility to find a new roommate when one was leaving.At first I didn't understand why he would want to take on this responsibility with no help from his other roommates... but after he explained to me that it meant that he would only choose an attractive， single girl， I started to understand his motives a lot better... And it was through this process that he met and picked Ling to be the new roommate.I still remember the first day that Ling moved in... it was a hot， summer day in June and Ling brought her entire life in the back of family friend， Drew Sikora's truck.Always a friendly person who strives to make situations comfortable for new people， Erik immediately offered his help to Drew and Ling to help move her things into the apartment.

At first， Ling and Erik started hanging out and building what would become their relationship based on an underlying friendship.It took only a handful of months before Erik would tell me that he was developing feelings for Ling... and their relationship finally started to grow beyond just a simple friendship.They dated for close to a year before Erik went to Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh， Pennsylvania to earn his MBA.If there was any test of their relationship， it would have been during this timeperiod as I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for Ling and Erik to go from over a year of living together and building a relationship into Erik moving 500 miles away to go to school.But through many phone calls， and Ling visiting Pittsburgh and Erik staying with Ling in Jersey City during school breaks， not only did their relationship survive， but as the old saying goes， distance makes the heart grow fonder... I think that both Ling and Erik grew to appreciate their relationship even more during this time of being apart and it made them closer.

I think you are both very lucky to have found each other and I'm glad to have seen this relationship develop into the supportive， loving partnership it has become.I think I speak for everyone in the room when I say that we are all happy to be here today and celebrate with you both.

If everyone will now please raise your glasses with me to toast the happy couple.

May you live as long as you want and want nothing as long as you live.In the Jewish faith， we say Mazel Tov， which means Congratulations and Best wishes... and in Chinese， I believe the saying is “Gung Hey Fi Lark”， which if I didn't butcher the pronunciation， means “Wishing you much happiness”.

TO LING AND ERIK

【鎖定譯文】

凌凌和艾瑞克，這一刻請(qǐng)與我一同分享。在我致詞的時(shí)候，如果在場(chǎng)任何嘉賓更加偏愛閱讀的話，維維安和莎莉已經(jīng)將我和羅瑞的祝詞譯成了普通話。相信各位可以在桌子上找到中文副本。

凌凌和艾瑞克，

我的名字叫史蒂芬·萊文尼，很榮幸能成為艾瑞克的榮譽(yù)伴郎。

首先，我要向凌凌的父母李先生、李太太表示衷心的感謝。謝謝你們承辦了這樣精致美好的婚禮和招待宴。由于相隔距離和溝通語(yǔ)言的屏障，使我在過(guò)去的幾年之中無(wú)緣與你們近距離交流。但如果說(shuō)孩子的成長(zhǎng)與父母的教誨息息相關(guān)的話，我們不難看出，凌凌之所以可以成為這樣一個(gè)充滿愛心、善良可愛、慷慨大方、善解人意，對(duì)愛人支持有嘉的女子，與你們對(duì)她的關(guān)愛和教育不無(wú)關(guān)系。可見，凌凌身上的所有優(yōu)秀品質(zhì)，都來(lái)自于你們這個(gè)幸福家庭的給予和饋贈(zèng)。這次凌凌特邀艾瑞克的妹妹羅瑞做榮譽(yù)伴娘，足以證明她已和愛人的家人親如一家。通過(guò)這些小的事例，我想我們大家不難發(fā)現(xiàn)，凌凌到底是來(lái)自于一個(gè)多么重視親情的幸福美滿家庭。感謝李先生、李太太把女兒培養(yǎng)得如此優(yōu)秀，才讓我的好朋友艾瑞克，可以有幸找到如此出色的女子作為人生伴侶。我想，艾瑞克的家人和朋友都對(duì)此心存感激。

接下來(lái)，我還要向艾瑞克的父母，桑德斯泰德先生及夫人表示感謝。是他們的不懈努力和全力支持，才使今天這個(gè)特殊的日子成為可能。我與桑德斯泰德夫婦相識(shí)已有十余載。這些年來(lái)，他們家永遠(yuǎn)向我敞開大門，使我倍感溫暖。在他們的教誨之下，艾瑞克懂得了堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的精神信念和頑強(qiáng)的人格力量的重要性。有了他們這個(gè)堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的后盾，艾瑞克今天才得以成長(zhǎng)為如此出色的男子漢。

我還要向所有我沒(méi)有提及的、這對(duì)新人的家人和朋友，表示由衷的感謝。感謝你們不遠(yuǎn)萬(wàn)里來(lái)參加他們的婚禮。你們的到來(lái)，對(duì)艾瑞克和凌凌來(lái)說(shuō)意義重大。

有些人或許不知道，我和艾瑞克是在巴克奈爾大學(xué)相識(shí)的。那時(shí)我們都是大一新生，入學(xué)第一周就成了新朋友。之后我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，兩人當(dāng)時(shí)竟然住在同一棟學(xué)生宿舍樓里。唯一的區(qū)別就是艾瑞克住三層，他們那層所有的設(shè)施都免費(fèi)；而我，卻住在所有設(shè)施都不免費(fèi)、處處都受限制的四層。鑒于我的父母今天都在現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，我只好免去抱怨之詞，不得不這樣告訴大家：那時(shí)我是把大多數(shù)時(shí)光，用在學(xué)習(xí)和準(zhǔn)備應(yīng)付大學(xué)的各種繁重課業(yè)上了。不過(guò)在每天那短暫的不用學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)間里，我大多都和艾瑞克，還有今天也在場(chǎng)的周·圖魯巴，和樓里其他同學(xué)一起，做那些大學(xué)里孩子常做的事情。比如看電影、追跑打鬧、在深更半夜點(diǎn)比薩餅外賣吃……即使有時(shí)只是大家聚聚，就很開心。還有些我們常做的事情，雖然那時(shí)我并沒(méi)意識(shí)到它們的有趣之處，但現(xiàn)在想來(lái)總是不禁懷念。比如，打任天堂游戲時(shí)大家下過(guò)的賭注；又比如，我們?nèi)ズ古Ｅ硼^輪流過(guò)生日的經(jīng)歷。趕上誰(shuí)過(guò)生日，我們都會(huì)向餐廳索要免費(fèi)的生日蛋糕，最尷尬的是竟然還有十個(gè)店員為“壽星”唱生日歌……正是這些過(guò)往的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴，成就了我們一生的友誼，和太多、太多我們共同經(jīng)歷的故事。

每到寒暑假假期，我和艾瑞克都會(huì)回到長(zhǎng)島。我們經(jīng)常相約去康美克中心看電影，或去桑肯綠地賭一場(chǎng)高爾夫球。就是那段日子，使我和艾瑞克越走越近，從好朋友變成了好兄弟。在大學(xué)三四年級(jí)的時(shí)候，我們不僅搬進(jìn)同一間宿舍成為了室友，還參加了同一個(gè)兄弟會(huì)，甚至選擇同一個(gè)國(guó)家去留學(xué)……之后又一同搬進(jìn)曼哈頓市區(qū)，在那里開始了我們各自的事業(yè)和生活。

我們?cè)谝黄鹕盍艘荒旰螅覑凵狭思~約，就這樣在曼哈頓住了整整七年，直到上個(gè)月才決定離開。因?yàn)榫拖窳枇韬桶鹂艘粯樱液团岩灿辛诵┤松碌囊?guī)劃。和我不同的是，艾瑞克那時(shí)卻厭倦了住在那月租1200美金，卻沒(méi)有電梯的舊公寓的五層房間里;厭倦了住在那不足8平米的小屋，抬頭就是一堵破磚墻的日子。于是他決定搬到澤西市去。他是個(gè)廣交朋友、社交能力很強(qiáng)的家伙，搬到新住處自然不愁沒(méi)朋友。不久，他就是在那里結(jié)識(shí)了許多新朋友。比如伴郎之一安德魯·海奈爾和“大丹麥”——翰瑞克·莫斯，和伴娘之一尤安娜·庫(kù)勒娃。他們今天都在現(xiàn)場(chǎng)。

艾瑞克當(dāng)時(shí)住在一個(gè)四室一廳的公寓里。我記得當(dāng)時(shí)他們的一個(gè)室友離開了，他就主動(dòng)承擔(dān)起找尋新室友的任務(wù)。起初我還感到奇怪，為什么他愿意在沒(méi)有其他室友幫助的情況下，獨(dú)自挑起重?fù)?dān)，并且如此熱情高漲。直到有次他向我解釋說(shuō)，這次篩選新室友條件何等苛刻，非迷人單身女性不選時(shí)，我才明白他的真正意圖。就這樣，艾瑞克選中凌凌作為大家的新任室友，這其中的玄秘不言而喻。我還記得凌凌搬過(guò)去的第一天，是六月里一個(gè)炎熱的夏日。凌凌的整個(gè)家當(dāng)都在她的朋友——德魯·斯寇拉的卡車車斗里（譯者友情注釋：按凌凌及家人的叫法，德魯即是“老將”的老婆：梅）。艾瑞克總是十分樂(lè)于為新朋友營(yíng)造舒適的環(huán)境，這一次自然也不例外。他立刻向德魯和凌凌伸出了援手，并幫助她們把所有的東西都搬進(jìn)了公寓。

起初，凌凌和艾瑞克只是像朋友一樣一起外出玩耍。在不斷地接觸中，他們之間建立了深厚的友情，這為他們以后關(guān)系的發(fā)展無(wú)不奠定了堅(jiān)實(shí)的基礎(chǔ)。只過(guò)了幾個(gè)月的時(shí)間，艾瑞克就告訴我，他對(duì)凌凌的感覺(jué)與日俱增。再后來(lái)，他們兩人的關(guān)系就不再是普通朋友那么簡(jiǎn)單了，終于發(fā)展為遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超越友誼的戀人關(guān)系。他們交往了近一年時(shí)間，之后艾瑞克去了位于賓州匹茲堡的卡內(nèi)基梅隆大學(xué)攻讀工商管理學(xué)碩士學(xué)位。如果說(shuō)有什么東西可以考驗(yàn)他們的愛情的話，應(yīng)該就是那段日子吧。我都很難想象，從一年前同一屋檐下的甜蜜生活，一下子變成有情人相隔兩地，艾瑞克不得不搬到八百公里以外的地方讀書……這一路，他們是怎么熬過(guò)來(lái)的。但是這對(duì)戀人最終還是堅(jiān)持了下來(lái)。不管是無(wú)數(shù)次的電話訴衷腸，還是凌凌不辭辛苦飛去匹茲堡探望艾瑞克，或是艾瑞克利用假期趕回澤西市看望凌凌，他們幾乎用盡了一切可能的方式來(lái)維系這份愛。最終，他們的愛不僅存活了下來(lái)，還如老話說(shuō)的那樣，真的變成了“距離產(chǎn)生美”。我猜這兩顆心，正是因?yàn)槟嵌畏蛛x兩地的日子而越貼越近的。正因如此，他們兩人才越發(fā)珍惜這份情。

在我看來(lái)，你們兩人都很幸運(yùn)，找到了人生中的另一半。看到這份感情開花結(jié)果，看到你們互相扶持、彼此愛護(hù)，我真是為你們感到開心。相信我的話代表著在場(chǎng)每一個(gè)人的心聲。相信大家一定和我一樣，非常高興能夠聚集于此，和你們一起慶祝這個(gè)特別的日子。

請(qǐng)?jiān)谧母魑缓臀乙黄鹋e杯，祝福這對(duì)幸福的新人。

祝你們天長(zhǎng)地久、比翼雙飛。用猶太語(yǔ)，我們會(huì)說(shuō)“Mazel Tov”，這是恭喜新婚、祝福無(wú)限的意思。用中文的說(shuō)法是“xing fu mei man”，如果我沒(méi)有把發(fā)音搞錯(cuò)的話，它的意思是“祝你們幸福美滿”。

為了凌凌和艾瑞克的幸福，干杯！