The Moon and Sixpence (Excerpt)《怪畫家》（節選）

【導讀】 《月亮和六便士》（王鶴儀譯為《怪畫家》）發表于1919年。小說以法國后印象派畫家保羅·高更（Paul Gauguin）的生平為素材，講述了男主人公史特勒蘭人到中年拋妻棄子、追求繪畫理想的故事。史特勒蘭是倫敦股票經紀人，生活優渥幸福，妻子漂亮能干，兒女健康快樂。但他突然不辭而別，跑到巴黎追求繪畫理想，后來生活潦倒，流落到塔希提島，結果貧病交加，在創作出偉大藝術作品的同時結束了生命。小說展現了對天才、個性與生命的深刻哲思。本篇選自小說第12章，講述的是男主人公跑到巴黎之后，妻子托“我”調查原因時與主人公的對話。

“Your wife says that nothing you can do will ever induce her to divorce you. She’s quite made up her mind. You can put any possibility of that definitely out of your head.”

“尊夫人說，不管你用什么手段，都不能騙她離婚。她已拿定了主意。你盡可不必再作此想。”

He looked at me with an astonishment that was certainly not feigned. The smile abandoned his lips， and he spoke quite seriously.

他一驚，呆望著我。他的驚愕確非假裝。微笑從嘴角消失了。他非常認真地說：

“But， my dear fellow， I don’t care. It doesn’t matter a twopenny damn to me one way or the other.”

“親愛的先生，我不在乎。隨便怎樣，對我都沒有關系。”

I laughed.

我笑起來。

“Oh， come now; you mustn’t think us such fools as all that. We happen to know that you came away with a woman.”

“哼，你不要以為我們傻到這地步。碰巧我們知道你帶了一個女人同走。”

He gave a little start， and then suddenly burst into a shout of laughter. He laughed so uproariously that people sitting near us looked round， and some of them began to laugh too.

他稍現驚容，忽的大笑起來。他笑得很響，鄰座的人都朝我們這邊瞧，有幾個人甚至也跟著笑起來。

“I don’t see anything very amusing in that.”

“我不懂這有什么好笑。”

“Poor Amy，” he grinned.

“可憐的亞密。”他露齒笑笑，面上現出極端輕蔑不屑的樣子。

Then his face grew bitterly scornful.

“What poor minds women have got！ Love. It’s always love. They think a man leaves only because he wants others. Do you think I should be such a fool as to do what I’ve done for a woman？”

“女人的頭腦真可憐！愛情——一天到晚總脫不了愛情。她們以為男子遺棄她們的原因，只是另有所歡。你以為我傻到這地步，為了女人才出走嗎？”

“Do you mean to say you didn’t leave your wife for another woman？”

“你的意思是說，你不是為了另一個女人才遺棄你的太太？”

“Of course not.”

“當然不是。”

“On your word of honour？”

“你肯發誓？”

I don’t know why I asked for that. It was very ingenuous of me.

我也不懂自己何以會作這樣的要求。我自問光明磊落。

“On my word of honour.”

“我發誓。”

“Then， what in God’s name have you left her for？”

“那么，干嗎你要離開她？”

“I want to paint.”

“我要繪畫。”

I looked at him for quite a long time. I did not understand. I thought he was mad. It must be remembered that I was very young， and I looked upon him as a middle-aged man. I forgot everything but my own amazement.

我呆瞪著他，久久不能已。我不了解他的話。他一定是精神錯亂了。須知那時我還很年輕，而視他為中年人。因此我忘了一切，只感到驚詫。

“But you’re forty.”

“但是你是四十歲的人啦。”

“That’s what made me think it was high time to begin.”

“所以我認為不容再緩了。”

“Have you ever painted？”

“你曾經繪過畫？”

“I rather wanted to be a painter when I was a boy， but my father made me go into business because he said there was no money in art. I began to paint a bit a year ago. For the last year I’ve been going to some classes at night.”

“小的時候，我曾希望當畫家，可是我的父親以為藝術不值錢，要我從商。一年前，我才開始繪畫。去年我一直上夜校。2”

“Was that where you went when Mrs. Strickland thought you were playing bridge at your club？”

“難道史特勒蘭太太以為你在俱樂部玩橋牌的時候，你就是到夜校去嗎？”

“That’s it.”

“是的。”

“Why didn’t you tell her？”

“干嗎你不告訴她？”

“I preferred to keep it to myself.”

“我不高興讓人知道。”

“Can you paint？”

“你能畫嗎？”

“Not yet. But I shall. That’s why I’ve come over here. I couldn’t get what I wanted in London. Perhaps I can here.”

“還不能。不過將來一定會。這就是我到這里來的原因。倫敦不能J7blb+lFm+z0t+Y78lPcBA==滿足我的欲望。這里也許能。”

“Do you think it’s likely that a man will do any good when he starts at your age？ Most men begin painting at eighteen.”

“你以為在你這種年紀開始學畫，會成功嗎？普通的人大都是在十八歲開始的。”

“I can learn quicker than I could when I was eighteen.”

“我可以比十八歲的時候學得快一些。”

“What makes you think you have any talent？”

“干嗎你會自以為有天才？”

He did not answer for a minute. His gaze rested on the passing throng， but I do not think he saw it. His answer was no answer.

他一時沒有回答，呆視著熙來攘往的人群。其實，我相信他根本沒有瞧見他們。他的回答，甚于沒有回答。

“I’ve got to paint.”

“我一定要繪畫。”

“Aren’t you taking an awful chance？”

“這樣豈不是太冒險了嗎？”

He looked at me. His eyes had something strange in them， so that I felt rather uncomfortable.

他望著我，眸子里閃著古怪的表情，令我局促不安。

“How old are you？ Twenty-three？”

“你幾歲？二十三？”

It seemed to me that the question was beside the point. It was natural that I should take chances; but he was a man whose youth was past， a stockbroker with a position of respectability， a wife and two children. A course that would have been natural for me was absurd for him. I wished to be quite fair.

這句話完全離題。這在我固然不妨冒險一下。但他已不是一個少年，而是一個體面的股票經紀人，有妻子，有兩個孩子。所以，平心而論，在我固可以說是當然的途徑，而在他卻是萬分的不妥。

“Of course a miracle may happen， and you may be a great painter， but you must confess the chances are a million to one against it. It’ll be an awful sell if at the end you have to acknowledge you’ve made a hash of it.”

“當然，也許奇跡突現，你會成個3大畫家。可是你須明白，成功的機會只有百萬分之一。末了等到你覺悟一切皆成泡影的時候你已經大吃其虧了。”

“I’ve got to paint，” he repeated.

“我一定要繪畫。”他重申其言。

“Supposing you’re never anything more than third-rate， do you think it will have been worth while to give up everything？ After all， in any other walk in life it doesn’t matter if you’re not very good; you can get along quite comfortably if you’re just adequate; but it’s different with an artist.”

“假如你只能當一個三流畫家，你以為值得舍棄一切嗎？別的職業不成功，沒有多大關系；只要你能安分守己，照樣可以舒舒服服地生活。藝術家則不然。”

“You blasted fool，” he said.

“你這該死的傻瓜。”他說。

“I don’t see why， unless it’s folly to say the obvious.”

“我不懂，難道直言就是傻瓜。”

“I tell you I’ve got to paint. I can’t help myself. When a man falls into water it doesn’t matter how he swims， well or badly： he’s got to get out or else he’ll drown.”

“我告訴你，我非繪畫不可。我管束不了自己。當一個人落在水里的時候，他唯有掙扎起來，否則便要溺斃。這時游泳術的精嫻與否，都沒有關系了。”

There was real passion in his voice， and in spite of myself I was impressed. I seemed to feel in him some vehement power that was struggling within him; it gave me the sensation of something very strong， overmastering， that held him， as it were， against his will. I could not understand. He seemed really to be possessed of a devil， and I felt that it might suddenly turn and rend him. Yet he looked ordinary enough. My eyes， resting on him curiously， caused him no embarrassment. I wondered what a stranger would have taken him to be， sitting there in his old Norfolk jacket and his unbrushed bowler; his trousers were baggy， his hands were not clean; and his face， with the red stubble of the unshaved chin， the little eyes， and the large， aggressive nose， was uncouth and coarse. His mouth was large， his lips were heavy and sensual. No; I could not have placed him.

他的聲音，帶著真摯的感情，不由得令我感動異常。我仿佛感覺有一種堅強的力量在他心里掙扎著；這力量非常強烈，支配著他，使他違背了自己的意志。我不能了解。他確實好像是魔鬼附身，這魔鬼可能忽然轉過來，把他支離滅裂了。然而他的外表又是如此地凡庸。我好奇地盯著他瞧。他毫無窘態。不知道不認識的人，對于他會作何感想，他坐在那里，身穿舊諾福克外套4，頭戴塵埃滿布的低頂氈帽；褲子寬闊如囊，一雙手臟臟的；那張臉呢，下巴上的胡子沒刮，滿是紅色胡茬5，再加上一雙小眼，特別大的鼻子，益顯得他拙笨丑陋。他的嘴很大，嘴唇很厚，現出一副荒淫的樣子。不，我不知道應該怎樣形容他。

“You won’t go back to your wife？” I said at last.

“你不回去了？”最后我說。

“Never.”

“永遠不。”

“She’s willing to forget everything that’s happened and start afresh. She’ll never make you a single reproach.”

“可她愿意不計前嫌，從頭來過。她不會說你一句的。6”

“She can go to hell.”

“滾她的。”

“You don’t care if people think you utter blackguard？ You don’t care if she and your children have to beg their bread？”

“你不在乎人們把你當作無可救藥的壞蛋嗎？假如有一天她和孩子不得不沿街求乞，你不于心內疚嗎？”

“Not a damn.”

“一點不。”

1毛姆.怪畫家.王鶴儀譯.重慶：商務印書館，1946，第12章.

2此處原譯（不多幾年前，我才開始繪畫。去年我曾到夜校去學畫。）疑似有誤，現譯根據原文文意做了調整。

3此處原譯（功）疑似有誤，現譯根據原文文意做了調整。

4此處原譯疑似漏譯，現譯補充了old的譯法。 5此處原譯（一雙臟腳，滿頰紅髭，頭發蓬亂）疑似有誤，現譯根據原文文意做了調整。

6此處原譯（她必會忘記一切，從新開始做人。她永不再理會你。）疑似有誤，現譯根據原文文意做了調整。