Final Days1余命

I guess it’s about time， I thought， and decided to go ahead with the preparations. First I contacted the workers to dispose of all my belongings.

時候大概到了，我思忖著，并決意著手料理起來。首先是去聯(lián)系工人，處置我所有的個人物品。

“Are you making plans to die？” a young man asked.

“您計劃去死了嗎？”一個年輕人問道。

“Yes. Either tomorrow or the day after.”

“沒錯。要么明天，要么后天。”

“Really？ My girlfriend and I are thinking of dying together next month or so.”

“真的呀？我和女友也考慮下個月左右一起去死呢。”

Many couples in their twenties or thirties chose to die together.

有不少二三十歲的伴侶們選擇一起去死。

“How nice，” I said automatically.

“真不錯啊。”我隨隨便便地應(yīng)和著。

“May I ask what setting you have in mind？ Disneyland， I imagine. Or a meadow of flowers？”

“能不能問一下，您設(shè)想的是哪種場景？我想是迪士尼吧。或者是鋪滿鮮花的草地？”

“No， I have a more natural death in mind.”

“不，我設(shè)想的是一個更加自然的死法。”

“Oh wow， nice. A natural death. That’s what my sister did， too.”

“哇噢，妙啊。自然死亡。我姐姐也選了這種死法呢。”

The young men went about their work chatting cheerfully until there was nothing left in my apartment.

幾個年輕人一邊干活，一邊開心地閑聊，直到公寓里什么也不剩。

“Well， that’s us done. Have a good death！”

“看，都弄完了。祝您死得愉快！”

I picked up my backpack， the only item left in the empty place， and went outside.

我拿起背包——留在空蕩蕩的寓所里的最后一件物事——然后出了門。

About 100 years had passed since medicine had advanced so far that nobody died any more. Nobody aged either， and even if you died in an accident or were murdered by someone， technology was such that you could immediately be resuscitated. It was feared that the population would explode， but surprisingly that hadn’t happened. As it was， once we thought we were ready to die we could do so in whatever way we liked. Bookstores were full of volumes on ways to die： Perfect for Women！ 100 Cute Ways to Die; Die Like a Man！ How to Leave an Impression in Death; The Top Ten Ways for Lovers to Die☆I(lǐng)llustrated. I myself chose one titled Let’s Die Naturally！ Super Deaths for Adults & the Best Spots.

大約100年前，醫(yī)學(xué)已經(jīng)發(fā)展到了人不再死亡的程度。人也不再衰老，即便死于意外或遭到謀殺，技術(shù)也能讓人馬上復(fù)蘇。曾有人擔(dān)心人口會爆炸，然而意想不到的是，這種情況并沒有發(fā)生。事實上，人們一旦認(rèn)為自己已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好，就可以用任何自己喜歡的方式死去。書店里充斥著關(guān)于各種死法的書：《最適合女性！一百種可愛死法》《像男子漢一樣去死！讓人印象深刻的死法》《戀人十大死法☆圖解》。我自己選的書題為：《讓我們自然地死去！成年人的超級死法及最佳地點》。

The right time was different for different people. There were some who had reached two hundred years old and intended to keep going， while some children died when they were only ten. I’m thirty-six now and I don’t know if that’s early or late—I just somehow started to feel that it was time. My hunch was probably right， though， since the population remained steady at about the right number without increasing or decreasing.

合適的時間因人而異。有人活了兩百歲還想繼續(xù)活，而有些孩子才十歲就死去了。我現(xiàn)在三十六歲，也不知道算早還是算晚——只是莫名地開始覺得時候到了。我的直覺倒很可能沒錯，畢竟人口一直大體穩(wěn)定在合適的數(shù)字上，沒有增加也沒有減少。

After flicking through the book and getting a pretty good idea of what I wanted， I went to city hall and filled in a do-not-resuscitate order to ensure that even if my body were found， no measures would be taken to revive me. Once that was done， I dealt with other practical matters such as what to do with the little savings I had， and obtained my death permit. The formalities were more complicated than I’d anticipated， and by the time I finally finished and went outside again it was already dark.

我把這本書翻了翻，搞清楚自己到底要什么之后，就去市政廳填寫了一份“不復(fù)蘇令”，以確保即使有人發(fā)現(xiàn)我的尸體，也不會對我采取任何復(fù)活措施。這些手續(xù)辦完后，我又處理了其他一些實際事項，比如處置我那微薄的積蓄，以及拿到死亡許可。手續(xù)比我預(yù)想的要麻煩，當(dāng)我終于辦完手續(xù)走出來時，天已經(jīng)黑了。

I presented my death permit at the pharmacy and asked for a relatively strong， fast-acting drug so that I wouldn’t suffer.

在藥店里，我先出示了死亡許可，然后要求買一種藥性較強、作用較快的藥物，以便到時候不會痛苦。

“You take care of yourself， now. Have a good death！” the young woman pharmacist told me， throwing in some vitamin tablets free of charge.

“現(xiàn)在，您就得自己保重了啊。祝您死得愉快！”年輕的女藥劑師一邊叮囑，一邊饒給我一些維生素片。

I got onto the night train and headed for the location described in the book. It was a quiet place deep in the mountains. In the winter it was a busy ski resort， but in this season the only people here had come to die.

我坐上夜班火車，前往書里描述的地點。那是群山深處一個寧靜的地方。冬天，這里是熱鬧的滑雪勝地，但在這個季節(jié)，這里只有來尋死的人。

I alighted at the appointed station， and headed off into the mountains on foot in search of a quiet place. On my way I passed by a couple stabbing each other with knives. A lot of couples chose killing each other as their way to die. I skirted around them， taking care not to get in their way. After walking along the mountain road for a couple of hours， I finally came across a deserted spot with a lovely view that looked like a nice place to die. Following the instructions in the book， I dug a hole with the spade. Maybe someone else had been here before me， for the earth was soft and it was easier than I’d expected.

在指定的車站下車后，我徒步進(jìn)山，尋找一個安靜的地方。途中，我從一對用刀互刺的伴侶身旁走過。很多伴侶們都選擇互相殺死對方作為死亡方式。我小心翼翼地繞行，生怕妨礙了他們。沿著山路走了幾個小時后，我終于找到一個人跡罕至、風(fēng)景優(yōu)美的地方，看起來是個不錯的死所。按書上的說明，我用鏟子挖了一個洞。也許在我之前有人來過這里，因為土很松，挖土的活兒比我想象的要輕松。

When the hole was ready， I lay down inside it and drank the mineral water containing the drug I’d been given. Then， while still conscious， I began covering myself with earth. I couldn’t do it as thoroughly as someone else would have done it for me， but still I managed to get myself more or less buried in the ground. Breathing through a short hose connected to the surface， enveloped in the warmth of the earth， I closed my eyes. Before long the drug would take effect and I would die buried there in the ground. Returning to the earth like this was currently a popular way to die.

洞穴挖好，我躺了進(jìn)去，喝下了含有開來藥物的礦泉水。然后，在還有意識的情況下，我開始往自己身上蓋土。沒人幫忙，我一個人沒法蓋得那么到位，但還是設(shè)法把自己多少埋進(jìn)了土里。由一根連接到地表的短軟管維持呼吸，包裹在大地的溫暖中，我閉上了眼睛。不用多久，藥效就會發(fā)作，而我就會死掉，埋在地底。如此回歸大地，是一種當(dāng)下流行的死法。

I didn’t want people gossiping about me after I was dead， laughing about the way I died or commenting on how I was so plain in life but then chose a flashy death causing problems for others， or saying that I should have known better than to die like that， and so I wanted to go as quietly as possible， a classy kind of death.

我不想在死后有人說閑話，嘲笑我的死法；或者揶揄我生時平平無奇，卻選了個惹眼的死法來給別人添麻煩；或者議論說我本不該那樣死云云。所以，我想盡可能安靜地離世，這是一種得體的死法。

Before medical care had become so advanced， death had apparently been something that came unpredictably. A drug would be the best way， I thought， given that I would have to bury myself. I wanted my death to be as unobtrusive as possible.

在醫(yī)療如此發(fā)達(dá)之前，死亡顯然是一件無法預(yù)料的事。我想，由于我必須自己掩埋自己，藥物是最好的辦法。我希望死得盡量不引人注目。

Suddenly my head grew heavy， and I knew I was dying. Wouldn’t it be great if natural deaths were restored in the next world， I thought， squeezing my eyes shut， and then abruptly lost consciousness.

腦袋突然變得很沉，我知道我就要死了。如果來世能恢復(fù)自然死亡，那該多好啊！我一邊想，一邊閉緊雙眼，隨后驟然喪失了意識。