體驗式伴侶治療：正念、非暴力與身心整合（序）

Rob Fisher

譯 者：嚴雪梅 吳于勤

本書簡介｜哈科米治療方法融合了東方的正念覺知（mindfulness）與西方心理學的科學方法。治療師設計正念覺知實驗，邀請個人探索身體的動作與習慣性的模式。這些動作、模式隱藏著許多潛意識的核心信念，影響著我們的日常生活、親密關系以及自我認同。哈科米可以讓我們帶著正念覺知，來探尋、看清親密關系中潛在的情緒模式和內心創傷，發現自己和伴侶內心深處的需求和渴望，帶來根本的療愈。

序

體驗式伴侶治療代表了一種全新的伴侶心理治療方法。本書中描述的方法和原則與其它傳統方法相比有很大的區別，即心理治療方法的一個最基本的層面在此受到質疑：治療師的角色。

通常，治療師和來訪者的工作基于一個模式（有時稱為醫療模式），其中來訪者的主要任務是向治療師展示自己或提供關于自己的資料，治療師幫助來訪者理解他們的世界。治療師提示和鼓勵來訪者展示癥狀、歷史、夢境、關于當前事件的報告以及對這些事件的感受等等。有了這些資料，治療師的任務是診斷問題并提供治療，治療方法各種各樣，從洞察到精神藥物等等。這種模式需要來訪者去找專家，呈現自己，并接受治療。這類心理治療就像一次談話——嚴肅的談話，沒錯，僅僅是一次談話。

本書中描述的方法是完全不同的。費若樸（Rob Fisher）邀請來訪者在正念覺知的特殊意識狀態下進行實驗并探索他們的體驗。結果充滿驚喜。正如本書所言，治療師的部分作用是找到合適的喚起實驗，讓伴侶在自我觀察的狀態下參與其中。許多實驗都是基于伴侶的非言語行為，即他們都有反應但通常沒有意識到的行為，比如輕微的轉頭、眼神冷漠、說話斷斷續續或節奏緩慢。通過結合正念覺知的實驗，來訪者可以發現大量信息，關于他們是誰以及他們是如何無意識地影響彼此的關系。費若樸從自身的臨床實踐中提供了許多案例來說明如何做到這一點。他非常詳細地描述了他使用的技術。

在體驗式治療的過程中，人們使用正念覺知作為自我觀察的方法，接觸到深層次的無意識材料，情緒和記憶以完全非暴力的方式很快被喚起。這種方法很大程度上依賴于治療師的觀察技能。本書中有一個章節專門講述如何學習和磨練這種特殊的技能。這些實驗是基于簡單、可觀察的現象，如手勢、姿勢、語調和伴侶互動關系的其他軀體信號。這些都是每個個體內部構建的外顯跡象。因為這種方法具體且即時，治療進行得很快，并且有切實的效果。當治療師知道要尋找什么以及如何在正念覺知中創設實驗時，很快便會有重大的發現。當來訪者的發現是基于真實的體驗時，幾乎就不需要解釋、講述和長時間的對話。有效的實驗得出的體驗結果，有時被稱之為不容置疑的事實。體驗是可以被談論的，這一點不可否認。體驗式心理治療涉及豐富的體驗。來訪者不參與對話。他們不是被動接受治療師的解析。治療師邀請他們主動進行自我探索。

費若樸認為來訪者的主要任務是自我研究，而治療師的主要任務是協助他們。在伴侶治療中，來訪者不僅自我發現，他們還發現對方以及彼此之間的關系。這里有一個微妙的責任轉移。治療師仍然在努力理解來訪者，但更多的是扮演助力者的角色，而不是專家和顧問。治療師的技能是幫助來訪者獲得非常有意義的體驗。來訪伴侶在他們的自我發現過程中起著主要作用。這樣的工作需要勇氣，因為正念覺知是一種涉及自發脆弱的意識狀態。鑒于這種脆弱性，治療工作必須是非暴力的。任何暴力，即使是以最不易察覺的形式，都會嚴重損害來訪者與其潛意識的合作。

在這種方法中，治療師致力于贏得信任。費若樸在本書中描述了如何有意識地、深思熟慮地實現這一點。沒有欺騙或操縱，沒有交易的把戲。只有對來訪者真正的傾聽、理解和尊重。

本書中討論的原則和方法有一部分是基于我自己的工作。因此，針對費若樸所寫的東西，我談談自己的感受或許比較合適。就我個人而言，我無比激動并心存感激。費若樸對體驗式心理治療進行了非常有用的延申和拓展。以上在本書中得到了很好地闡釋。 我很自豪也很高興地跟大家分享：這本書內容清楚易懂、全面透徹、組織得當。對心理治療領域貢獻巨大。

朗·克茲

俄勒岡州，阿什蘭市

版權說明：譯者受中國紡織出版社的委托對該書進行了翻譯，目前尚未出版。發表在本刊的這篇譯文為書的序言部分，已經經過出版社同意，不存在版權爭議。

作者簡介：Rob Fisher，美國心理學家。

譯者簡介：嚴雪梅，武漢晴川學院外國語學院副教授，翻譯碩士，研究方向：翻譯理論與實踐。吳于勤，中南財經政法大學外國語學院講師，翻譯碩士，研究方向：翻譯理論與實踐、心理學。

FOREWORD

Working Experientially with Couples represents a significantly new approach to the practice of psychotherapy with couples. The differences between the methods and principles described in this book and other， more traditional approaches are profound. One of the most fundamental aspects of psychotherapeutic method is called into question here： the role of the therapist.

Typically， therapist and client operate from a model （sometimes called the medical model） in which the clients primary task is to present themselves or data about themselves to a therapist who then helps them make sense of their world. Clients are prompted to present symptoms， history， dreams， reports about current events， feelings about those events， and so on. Given this data， the therapists task is then to diagnose the problem and provide treatment， which could be anything from insights to psychoactive drugs. This model entails going to an expert， presenting oneself， and receiving a treatment. As a result， psychotherapy is conducted very much like a conversation—a serious conversation， yes， but a conversation nonetheless.

The approach described in this book is radically different. Fisher invites clients to explore and experiment with their experience in a special state of consciousness called “mindfulness.” The results are full of surprises. Part of the therapists function， as discussed in this book， is to find appropriate evocative experiments in which the couple can engage while in this state of self-observation. Many such experiments are based on the nonverbal behaviors of the couple， behaviors they are both reacting to but are usually not aware of， like the slight turn of the head， the hardening of the eyes， the staccato or adagio pace of their speech. Using this combination of experiments and mindfulness， clients can discover a tremendous amount about who they are and how they are unconsciously affecting their relationships. Fisher provides numerous examples from his own clinical practice of how this is done. He describes the techniques he uses in great detail.

In the course of this therapy， people come in contact with profound levels of unconscious material. Using mindfulness as the method of self-observation， emotions and memories are evoked very quickly， in a completely nonviolent way. This method relies heavily on the observational skills of the therapist. A whole chapter is devoted to learning and honing this particular skill. These experiments are based on simple， observable phenomena such as gestures， postures， tone of voice， and other physical aspects of the couples relationship. These are all outward signs of each individuals internal organi?zation. Because the method is concrete and immediate， therapy proceeds quickly and has quite an impact. When the therapist knows what to look for and how to create experiments in mindfulness， discoveries are immediate and profound. When the clients discoveries are based on actual experiences， there is very little need for explanations， stories， and long conversations. The experiential outcome of good experiments is， what is sometimes called， the unarguable truth. Experience can be talked about， but it is simply illogical to disagree with it. This approach is rich in experiences. Clients are not engaged in conversations. They are not given interpretations. They are invited to explore.

Fishers work presupposes that the clients main task is self-study and that the therapists main task is to assist in that. In the case of couples， they not only discover themselves; they discover each other and their relationship. There is a subtle shift of responsibility here. The therapist is still working to understand clients， but more in the role of facilitator than expert and advisor. The therapists skill is in helping clients access deeply meaningful experiences. Couples take the main role in their own self-discovery. Such work takes courage， because mindfulness is a state of consciousness involving voluntary vulnerability. Given this vulnerability， it is essential that the work be nonviolent. Any violence， even in its subtlest forms， will significantly compromise the cooperation of the clients unconscious.

In this method， the therapist works to earn trust. Fisher describes how to consciously and deliberately go about accomplishing this. There is no deception or manipulation， no “tricks of the trade.” Only the real work of listening， understanding， and respecting the people with whom he works.

The principles and methods discussed in this book are based in part on my own work. Therefore， it may be appropriate that I say something about how I feel about what Rob Fisher has written. Personally speaking， I am excited and grateful. Rob has created a marvelously useful extension of the experiential method. And hes written about it beautifully. The book is clear， thorough， and very well organized. Its a great contribution. And Im proud and happy to tell you so.

Ron Kurtz

Ashland， Oregon