Stress Is Contagious in Relationships情感焦慮會傳染

羅西·施勞特　崔佳艷/譯

With the flurry of shopping， spending money and traveling to see family， stress can feel inevitable during the holidays.

一到放假，各種購物消費、探親旅行應接不暇，難免讓人感到焦慮。

You might already know stress can affect your own health， but what you may not realize is that your stress—and how you manage it—is catching. Your stress can spread around， particularly to your loved ones.

焦慮情緒會影響健康，這點你或許早有了解，但你可能沒覺察到，自己的焦慮及應對方法是具有“傳染力”的。它會向四周擴散，尤其是對你的愛人。

As a social-health psychologist， I have developed a model on how partners and their stress influence each others psychological and biological health. Through that and my other research， Ive learned that the quality of intimate relationships is crucial to peoples health.

作為社會健康心理學者，我建立了一套模型來研究伴侶間焦慮對彼此身心健康的影響。基于這一模型和本人的其他研究，我了解到親密關系的質量對健康有著極其重要的影響。

Heres just a sample： Relationship stress can alter the immune， endocrine and cardiovascular systems. A study of newlyweds found levels of stress hormones were higher when couples were hostile during a conflict—that is， when they were critical， sarcastic， spoke with an unpleasant tone and used aggravating facial expressions， like eyerolls.

舉個例子：情感焦慮會改變人體免疫系統、內分泌系統和心血管系統。一項針對新婚夫婦的研究顯示，夫妻倆吵架較勁時，相互間的指責、嘲諷、語氣不善、擺臉色（如翻白眼）會使得他們體內的應激激素水平升高。

Likewise， in another study， people in hostile relationships had slower wound healing， higher inflammation， higher blood pressure and greater heart rate changes during conflict. Middle-aged and older men had higher blood pressure at times when their wives reported greater stress. And partners who felt they werent being cared-for or understood had poorer well-being and higher mortality rates 10 years later when compared with those who felt more cared-for and appreciated by their partners.

另一項研究同樣證實，感情不睦的雙方在發生沖突期間，傷口愈合較慢，炎癥加重，血壓升高，心率波動也會增大。中老年男性會因其妻子焦慮情緒表現加重，而血壓升高。結婚十年后，與那些受到伴侶關心和贊賞的人相比，自感缺少伴侶關愛和理解的人幸福感較低、死亡率較高。

Conflict and cortisol

沖突和皮質醇

Cortisol is a hormone that plays a key role in the bodys stress response. Cortisol has a diurnal rhythm， so its levels are usually highest soon after waking and then gradually decline during the day. But chronic stress can lead to unhealthy cortisol patterns， such as low cortisol levels upon waking or cortisol not tapering off much by the end of the day. These patterns are associated with an increase in disease development and mortality risks.

皮質醇這種激素在人體應激反應中發揮著重要作用。它具有晝夜節律，通常在早晨睡醒后不久達到峰值，白天逐漸下降。但長期焦慮會打亂健康的皮質醇節律，比如造成皮質醇在晨起時水平低，或入睡時水平極少回落。節律紊亂會導致生病、增加死亡風險。

My colleagues and I found that conflict altered cortisol levels of couples on the day they had a dispute; people with stressed partners who used negative behaviors during the conflict had higher cortisol levels even four hours after the conflict ended.

根據我和同事的研究，夫妻爭吵當天，皮質醇水平會因沖突的產生而改變；如果一個人的伴侶容易焦慮并且在沖突中做出消極行為，那么即使沖突結束四小時后，他/她的皮質醇水平仍會居高不下。

These findings suggest that arguing with a partner who is already stressed could have lasting biological health effects for ourselves.

這些發現表明，與已經焦慮的伴侶發生爭執可能會對我們的生理健康產生持久的不良影響。

Managing stress

緩解焦慮

Here are three ways you can reduce the stress in your relationship， during and after the holidays.

以下三種方法可以幫助緩解假期或假后的情感焦慮。

First， talk to and validate each other. Tell your partner you understand their feelings. Talk about them before they escalate. Sometimes partners hide problems to protect each other， but this can actually make things worse. Share your feelings， and when your partner shares in return， dont interrupt. Remember， feeling cared-for and understood by a partner is good for your emotional well-being and promotes healthier cortisol patterns， so being there for each other and listening to each other can have good health effects for both you and your partner.

首先，與對方交談并彼此認同。表達對伴侶情緒的理解。在事態升級前進行溝通。有時伴侶們為了保護彼此而對問題避而不談，但這其實會使情況惡化。要表達自己的感受，當另一半也向你傾訴時，不要打斷。要記住，伴侶的關心和理解可以促進情緒健康及使皮質醇節律更加有序，因此相互陪伴和彼此傾聽對你們雙方的健康都有好處。

Next， show your love. Hug each other， hold hands and be kind. This too lowers cortisol and can make you feel happier. One study found that a satisfying relationship can even help improve vaccination response.

其次，表達愛意。相互擁抱、牽手、彼此善待，這也會降低皮質醇水平，增強愉悅感。有研究發現，一段幸福的感情甚至有助于減輕疫苗接種反應。

Then remind yourself that youre part of a team. Brainstorm solutions， be each others cheerleaders and celebrate the wins together. Couples who unite to tackle stress are healthier and more satisfied with their relationships. Some examples： Make dinner or run errands when your partner is stressed; relax and reminisce together; or try a new restaurant， dance or exercise class together.

最后，要提醒自己，你們是一個團隊。凡事要一起想辦法，互相加油打氣，分享成功的喜悅。能共同應對焦慮的夫妻身體更健康，對婚姻也更滿意。舉幾個例子：當伴侶感到焦慮時，你可以幫忙做飯或跑腿；一起放松，緬懷過往；一起去嘗試新餐廳、一起參加舞蹈課或健身課。

That said， its also true that sometimes these steps arent enough. Many couples will still need help managing stress and overcoming difficulties. Couples therapy helps partners learn to communicate and resolve conflicts effectively. Its critical to be proactive and seek help from someone who is trained to deal with ongoing relationship difficulties.

話雖如此，有時僅憑這些方法還是不夠。很多夫妻在應對焦慮和克服困難方面仍會需要幫助。夫妻療法可以幫他們學會有效溝通并化解矛盾。積極主動尋求專業人士的幫助來解決當前的感情難題——這一點很重要。

So， tell your partner that youre there for them， preferably while youre hugging. Take each others stress seriously， and no more eyerolls. Its not so much the stress itself; its the way that both of you manage the stress together. Working as an open and honest team is the key ingredient to a healthy and happy relationship.

總之，告訴伴侶你會永遠守護在他/她身邊，最好是選在你們擁抱的時候這么做。認真對待彼此的焦慮，不再白眼相向。焦慮本身沒那么重要，重要的是你們如何共同應對焦慮。像一個開誠布公的合作團隊那樣生活是婚姻健康幸福的關鍵。

（譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎者）