基于云平臺的高中英語讀后續寫可視化寫 作策略研究

呂少曼

《教育部2022年工作要點》提出“實施教育數字化戰略行動”。為了落實立德樹人的根本任務，促進學生核心素養發展的具體目標，在教育信息化20背景下，教育數字化轉型賦能課堂教學改革，廣東省佛山市南海區積極推進基于智能教學平臺的云平臺“深度課堂”實驗項目，旨在培養學生的數字思維和深度學習能力。云平臺智慧教學融合互聯網與先進信息技術，謀求在英語教學與信息技術整合實際效果方面發揮正向支持提升作用。

自2021年廣東使用新高考英語全國I卷以來，25分的讀后續寫新題型對考生來說極具挑戰。本研究在學科育人背景下，積極響應國家“雙減”的號召，以2022年新高考全國I卷讀后續寫為例，進行基于云平臺的高中英語讀后續寫可視化教學策略研究，以期減負增效，落地“雙新”“雙減”智慧課堂。思維可視化教學策略可以呈現思維結構、路徑及方法， 從而實現零散知識系統化、隱性思維顯性化、解題規律模型化。在可視化策略的助力下，高中英語讀后續寫將成為引領學生培養高階思維的驅動力。

閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route（路線）through thick evergreen forest．

I looked around and finally spotted David， who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasnt with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run．

What was wrong？ He had worked so hard for this event！

I quickly searched the crowd for the schools coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him，” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not， and let him decide.”

I bit back my frustration（懊惱）. I knew the coach meant well?--?he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted， I turned to find him coming towards me， his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward．

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children， but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer--thats all. David had not missed a single practice， and although he always finished his run long after the other children， he did always finish. As a special education teacher along school， I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination．

注意：1.續寫詞數應為 150 左右。2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。

We sat down next to each other， but David wouldnt look at me._____________

______________________________________________________________________________

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners._____________

______________________________________________________________________________

筆者基于云平臺開展高中英語讀后續寫可視化教學實踐。

一、基于云平臺的讀后續寫可視化解題策略

1.劃出WHO，提煉大意

讀后續寫是新高考優化寫作試題考查形式的重要舉措。體裁上，新高考讀后續寫多為記敘文。我們可先看所給的兩個段首句，帶著問題逆向答題。先通過skimming， 即略讀，快速瀏覽全文，邊看邊劃出記敘文的七個要點5W1H1O（簡稱為“WHO”），即語篇涉及的人物（who）、地點（where）、時間（when）、事件（what）、故事的起因（why）、發展過程（how），以及文章的架構（order）。同時可繪制思維導圖梳理信息，提煉故事主干。2022年新高考英語全國Ⅰ卷讀后續寫語篇主題為自強不息的中華民族精神，故事是關于一位從事特殊教育的老師激勵身殘志堅的患病男孩David勇敢站上起跑線，與所有同學一起參加越野賽的感人勵志故事。下圖是某學生基于云平臺繪制的“故事要點”思維導圖，如：

2.畫故事山，析記敘文

“文似看山不喜平。”記敘文一般包括開端、發展、高潮、回落、結局。故事的主要沖突和矛盾一般發生在原文高潮部分，而故事的回落和結局就是考生要續寫的部分。答題時，我們可從所給的兩個段首句中鎖定人物 David 和I，以及David起身和其他選手一起來到起跑線的關鍵信息；然后在原文中通過scanning，即跳讀，搜索相關信息鏈并初步構思，推測續寫第一段的情節。我們并肩坐下，David低頭沒有看我。顯然David有棄賽的想法，又因為不甘心而難過。該題情境設置貼近實際，我們容易與David產生共鳴，想象他在老師鼓勵下重拾信心勇敢參賽，排除萬難、堅持不懈完成比賽的場景。某學生繪制的故事山如下：

3.多維銜接，提綱挈領

讀后續寫要進行多維度銜接，包括與所給段首句的銜接，續寫第一段與第二段的銜接，續寫段落內容本身的銜接，續寫段落與原文在內容邏輯、思維模式及語言風格上的銜接，故事內在意義也要連貫且凸顯主題。這些銜接多以隱形銜接為主，比如代詞的指代，副詞的使用等。我們續寫的過程中要注意記敘文的表達方式，情節的推進與完整性。2022新高考英語全國I卷讀后續寫選取一名殘疾學生積極參加跑步比賽的語篇，材料體現了體育融入試題的亮點，旨在引導學生提高運動意識，保持身心健康。續寫時可塑造殘疾男孩身殘志堅、積極參賽，重視運動過程，自強不息的形象。如：

4.精選細節，增強亮點

我們續寫時應緊扣主題、精選細節、以簡潔細膩的間接引語敘述為主，對白為輔，行文敘述務必詳略得當，合理分配主次場景的篇幅。所謂“一切景語皆情語”，故事中越野賽在戶外森林中進行，可適當借助環境描寫烘托氣氛。師生之間的語言描寫也是推動情節的重頭戲，對話應簡短、感情真摯，切忌拖沓的多輪對話導致敘述低效且占用篇幅、容易使續寫偏離故事主線。同時，我們可借助動作、神態、情緒，心理及側面描寫，來刻畫殘疾男孩David在老師鼓勵下，從自卑棄賽到自信參賽的可喜變化，弘揚正能量。我們可基于云平臺繪制思維導圖，分類列舉續寫需要的詞塊句式，如：

5.精雕結尾，升華主題

常言道，一篇好文章應包括“鳳頭，豬肚，豹尾。”好的結尾可以畫龍點睛。新高考讀后續寫多圍繞情節的推進展開，開放式結尾是其重要特征。2022年新高考英語全國Ⅰ卷讀后續寫主要圍繞“人與社會”與“人與自我”主題展開，符合新課標中“主題語境”下“人與社會”中所要求的“良好的人際關系與社會交往”以及“人與自我”中所要求的“完善自我”“優秀品行，正確的人生態度”以及“積極的生活態度”。該考題主要體現了德智體美勞中的體育和德育，符合五育并舉，深化德智體美勞教育引導的命題思路，以浸潤的方式引導學生加強對中華民族優秀傳統文化和社會主義核心價值觀的認同。該題明線為殘疾男孩to run or not的抉擇，暗線為自強不息與愛的主題。我們只要圍繞主題，采用自然結尾式、以景結情式、哲理式結尾等均可。如：

6.語言協同，賞析模仿

王初明（2014）指出，讀后續寫中語言的賞析應基于內容要創造，語言要模仿，創造與模仿要緊密結合的原則。要實現讀后續寫的語言協同，應先賞析和模仿原文的語言表達，在續寫時遷移運用。2022年新高考英語全國I卷讀后續寫文本以一般過去時敘述，句子多為主動語態，在句式上簡單句與復合句并用，包括約10個簡單句，8個名詞性從句，2個定語從句，3個非謂語分詞結構，2個狀語從句，2個并列句，7個并列謂語，2個長難復合句，1個特殊疑問句，和若干銜接成分。語言風格總體上自然簡潔，細膩生動。某學生基于云平臺繪制的“語言特點”分析圖如下：

二、學生習作點評：基于云平臺的讀后續寫有聲思維寫作個案

有聲思維，是將大腦里進行的思維活動有聲化。理想的有聲思維，是受試者一刻不停地說出自己在完成特定任務時進出大腦的任何信息。筆者指導學生按可視化策略解答2022新高考全國Ⅰ卷讀后續寫，受試甲在云平臺智慧課堂環境下，使用平板的思維導圖等功能開展讀后續寫有聲思維寫作。筆者基于云平臺對受試的有聲思維寫作過程進行觀察記錄，最后將其整理轉寫為文字形式，習作如下：

We sat down next to each other， but David wouldnt look at me. He just ducked down his head and couldnt help weeping. It seemed that he was eager to take part in the run. I comforted him softly， “David， if you would like to run， I would firmly support you.” He bit his bottom lip hard， holding his fist tightly. Patting him gently on the shoulder， I said， “People only tease at the ones who give up halfway. Just be yourself， were always with you.” Hearing this， Davids face lit up. He raised his head with strong determination， his eyes sparkling with confidence. We smiled and gave high fives to each other．

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. When the race began， all the runners dashed forward while David soon fell behind. Slow as he was， David kept his own pace all the way， rocking from side to side in his typical style. In the end， the other runners finished the run except David. However， nobody left. Everyone kept cheering for David loudly until he eventually crossed the finishing line. All the classmates hugged him and congratulated him on his victory. Although he was out of breath， the big toothy smile appears on his face again. His hard work paid off. What a meaningful experience！

點評：該文內容健康、主題正面，但表達稍欠地道。我們可鼓勵學生進行整本書閱讀及群文閱讀，并基于云平臺思維導圖整理筆記，積累詞塊，學習范文及英文原著中豐富細致的表達，并基于云平臺的共享功能分享交流整合學習成果。

三、結語

教育數字化轉型是當前教育改革與實踐中的熱點，也是未來教育創新變革的發展趨勢。可視化工具有直觀性和推理性等優點，借助流程圖和思維導圖等思維可視化工具可清晰呈現“讀后續寫”任務的思維路徑。教育部2022年工作要點提出將推進“雙減”作為完善德智體美勞人才全面培養，促進學生全面發展的重要方式。減負提質，教師要切實提高課堂教學質量。面向疫后時期課堂教學需要，“智能+”賦能課堂理念變革，而基于云平臺的可視化教學策略的合理運用可深化線上線下融合教學，落地“雙新”“雙減”智慧課堂，促進學生的讀后續寫深度教學，值得進一步思考探究。

【本文系廣東省中小學教師信息技術應用能力提升工程20專項科研課題“基于智能教學平臺的高中英語可視化教學策略研究”（課題批準號：TSGCKT2022139）部分成果】

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