How Do We Want to Become?我們想如何成長？

文/薩布麗娜·因布勒 譯/張爽

By Sabrina Imbler1

In her book “The Argonauts,” Maggie Nelson writes, “Evolution strikes me as infinitely more spiritually profound than Genesis.” That is, how the process of becoming is far more important than any simple act of creation. This strikes me as especially relevant to our time at Brown. Right now, none of us has quite grown up, but we’re also not kids anymore. We’re drifting somewhere inbetween—unsure yet overconfident,always sleepy yet somehow limitless.

2 In Greek mythology a ship called the Argo was rebuilt each year until all of its parts had been replaced. This resulted in an entirely new ship sailing under the same name. In this way, Brown reminds me of the Argo. How even though the students cycle through every four years we can still come back to feel instantly and immeasurably at home.

2 在希臘神話中，一艘名為阿爾戈號的船每年都在重修，最終所有部件都被替換了。于是它成為了一艘帶著原有名字航行的新船。在這個方面，布朗大學讓我想到阿爾戈號。即使每四年就輪換一屆學生，我們還是一回來就有濃烈的歸家之感。

3在布朗大學的四年教會我批判地思考——去質疑、去梳理、去解構——卻未必曾教導我去成為什么樣的人。所以，與其問自己想成為什么樣的人，我想知道，如果問自己“我們想如何成長？”，會得到怎樣的答案。

3 My four years at Brown have taught me to think critically—to interrogate,to unpack and to deconstruct—but they haven’t necessarily taught me to be anything. So instead of asking ourselves who we want to be, I wonder what answers we might get if we asked instead“How do we want to become?”

4 At Brown, we learn how to become.We learn that no one comes here fully formed, that we all have our baggage and memories of that time someone shamed us for doing something we loved. At Brown, we learn to become ourselves and more than ourselves.

5 This becoming, I’ve realized, can’t happen without the love we feel as a Brown community. This love means not only watching out for each other, but holding each other accountable.

6 These have been four years of us trying to have our voices heard. Of people calling us hypersensitive when we ask for trigger warningsand safe spaces. They say our dreams are the fruit of a na?ve idealism that is loudand reckless and unfamiliar with how the world works.

7 But these have been four years in a world that, again and again, tells us that some people matter and that others do not.They look at our skin and our bodies, how we move and think and fall in love, and they tell us who is valuable and who is not.

（5）動物疫病防控和畜產品質量安全形勢嚴峻。由于各地畜禽調運頻繁，加大了輸入性疫情風險，養殖場（戶）投入不足，只重視重大動物疫病的防控，忽視了普通病的防控，在一定程度上造成動物疫病的傳播風險。

4 在布朗，我們學習如何成長。我們知道這里的人都不是完全定型的，我們都背負著自己的包袱，記得那些因為做自己喜歡的事而受到羞辱的時日。在布朗，我們學著成為自己，并超越自己。

5 我認識到，如果沒有布朗這個集體帶給我們的愛，就不會有這種成長。這種愛不僅意味著相互照顧，也意味著互相負責。

6 四年來，我們一直努力讓人聽到我們的聲音。當我們要求敏感警報和安全空間時，人們會說我們過度敏感。他們說，我們的夢想是天真的理想主義的產物，這種理想主義喧鬧招搖，不計后果，不諳世相。

7 這四年，世界一再向我們展示了有些人重要而有些人不重要。時光見證了我們由內而外的變化，見證了我們成長、思考、戀愛，告訴了我們哪些人必須珍惜而哪些人不值一提。

8這四年，我們在校園里進行過非同尋常的抗爭。當我們在學生刊物上讀到令人不安的文章時，我們會高聲疾呼。當我們與全國其他大學并肩而立時，我們看清了各種壓迫方式。我們見到很多錯誤的事，但我們主要還是看到了自己如何能變得更好。

8 These have been four years of remarkable resistance on campus. We spoke out when we read troubling articles in student publications. We saw patterns of oppression as we stood in solidarity with other colleges across the nation. We saw many things that were wrong, but mostly we saw how we could become better.

9These have also been four years of dreams. We entered heated discussions about the protests on campus that shook some of our friendships to the core,then we built them back up again stronger. Months of demands, protests and solidarity resulted in the Diversity and Inclusion Action Plan.

10Like many other first-years, I came to Brown with little conception of how the world works. But I got better. I stopped talking and started listening.I listened to my professors. To Kate Schapira, who taught me that there must be an ethics and accountability to all that we write, from petitions to poetry.To Fran?oise Hamlin, who showed me how social change can be untidy, disappointing and triumphant all at once. And to Ralph Rodriguez, who taught me that we are all beautiful for the simple and profound reason that we are born to make the world better.

11 I listened to student activists and minority peer counselors and slampoets who poured their entire selves into helping us understand and care for each other so much more.

9 這也是充滿夢想的四年。我們對校園抗議展開熱烈的討論，與一些人的友誼被徹底動搖，而后我們又重新建立友誼，使其更為牢固。數月的要求、抗議和團結促成了《多元化與包容性行動計劃》。

10 和許多大一新生一樣，我來到布朗大學時，對這個世界懵懂無知。但我變得更棒了。我停止言談，開始傾聽。我聽取教授們的意見。感謝凱特·沙皮拉，她教會我，我們的一切書寫，從請愿書到詩歌，都要包含倫理與責任。感謝弗朗索瓦絲·哈姆林，她讓我懂得，社會變革既能帶來歡欣鼓舞，也會伴隨混亂和失望。感謝拉爾夫·羅德里格斯，他教會我，我們都是美麗的，只因我們生來就是為了讓世界變得更好。

11 我聆聽學生活動家、少數族裔同輩輔導員和誦詩擂臺賽選手的聲音，他們傾其全力幫助大家更好地理解和關愛彼此。

12 No one ever said becoming was easy. It’s hard, so hard, to look at someone or something you love so much and see how it could be different, how it could be better. But it’s precisely because of this love that we continue to protest, to hold sit-ins and teach-ins,to engage with people over coffee, in office hours or even over Facebook.Because we can imagine everything Brown could become.

13 This is a place drenched in infinity,where we can become not only what we never dreamed possible, but also what we were always meant to be. Where my peers can create an organization to empower first-generation students at schools like Brown. Where we can travel to the United Nations’ climate talks in Paris and advocate for countries hardest hit by global warming. And just as we become our own selves within these gates, Brown too becomes something more because of us.

14 Looking around right now, at some of the best friends we’ve ever had, the orientation friends we never saw again after the ice cream social and every beautiful soul we never got the chance to meet—when I look at all of you, I’ve never felt more in love. And to Brown—thank you for teaching us never simply to be, but rather showing us how to become. ■

12 沒有人會說成長是容易的。看著你深愛的人或事物，意識到其可以有所不同、可以變得更好，不是一件易事，甚至很難。但正是因為這種愛，我們不斷抗議、靜坐和宣講，在咖啡時間、辦公時間甚至在臉書上與人們互動。因為我們對布朗大學有無限展望。

13 這是一個浸潤于無限之中的地方，在這里我們不僅可以成為從未夢想過的可能，而且可以成為我們一直想成為的人。在這里，我的同齡人有能力創建組織來幫助像布朗這樣的學校的第一代學生。我們可以前往巴黎參加聯合國氣候大會，為受全球變暖影響最嚴重的國家代言。我們在校園內成長為我們自己，布朗大學也因為我們而變得更有影響力。

14 現在環顧四周，有我們最好的朋友，有那些在冰激凌聯誼后再也沒有見過的迎新朋友，還有那些我們從未有機會相識的美麗靈魂——當我看到你們，我感到前所未有的愛。感謝布朗——謝謝你教導我們永遠不要僅僅是游走于世間而已，更讓我們明白了如何成長。 □