The Comparison Trap

In the decision-making process， people inevitably have to make comparisons， including comparing one option with other options， comparing themselves with others. This book will illustrate how comparison affects people's decision-making in four parts: ubiquitous comparisons， comparing the effects on individuals， comparing the effect on the group， and comparing the effects on society.

Lu Jingyi

Lu Jingyi is an associate professor， doctoral supervisor， and head of the Department of Applied Psychology， School of Psychology and Cognitive Sciences， East China Normal University. She received her Ph.D. from the Department of Psychology， Peking University. Research areas focus on judgment and decision-making. She has published more than 20 papers in SSCI and CSSCI academic journals; she is a member of the Decision Psychology Professional Committee of the Chinese Psychological Society. She published Consumer Decisions: Walking on the Edge of Reason and Evolutionary Wisdom and Decision Rationality.

Qiu Tian

Qiu Tian is a master student at the School of Psychology and Cognitive Sciences， East China Normal University. His research focuses on judgment and decision-making， with particular attention to the impact of social comparison on decision-making.

The Prisoner of Comparison: What Determines Our Choices and Happiness

Lu Jingyi， Qiu tian

Beijing Normal University Press (Group) Co.， LTD.

2021.12.16

96.00 (CNY)

In 1985， the first year of social networks， the first social platform Well was launched. A mere 30 years have passed since its birth. In the long history of human development， 30 years is nothing but a fleeting moment， as brief as a dot in the coordinates of the lengthy history. While today， it seems to be difficult to imagine life without social networks.

Social media platforms have flooded our life. We have been conditioned to post every single thing online， whether big or small， important or trivial. We post good snaps of landscape or ourselves shot on a trip， post anecdotes about an exciting life， and post a wonderful meal before eating it. Can we still publish a post if we didn’t go on a trip or have any delicacies， or there was nothing new? Sure! Take a selfie anytime， anywhere， and post it!

A while back， there was a huge trend online about showing off figures. First， it was a competition to see whose collarbone could hold more coins. Later， women posted pictures of themselves covering their waists with a sheet of A4 paper. Not until the “A4 waist” trend was completely over， the “firm abs” viral trend in which men and women flaunted firm abs or vertical ab lines had taken the internet by storm.

While accustomed to sharing life， reading the lives of others has also become a form of “OCD” for many people. On the subway， on the road， in cafes， and even in meeting rooms， phubbers browsing WeChat moments or Weibo can be seen everywhere. So， we find out that our friends are traveling again， colleagues are dining at fancy restaurants again， and old classmates are looking younger and prettier.

After browsing the lives of others， we can’t help but think to ourselves and lament: “Why is my life so boring?”

Social media has brought more frequent social comparisons. We admire or even envy others’ lives. According to a recent survey， the photos most likely to cause jealousy are travel photos， followed by food photos. Compared with the good life of others， our own life seems to be dull， or even a little “miserable，” and this genuine but mediocre life makes us feel unhappy.

Next， let’s have a look at academia. There are also “quasi-social media platforms” in academia. These sites are “quasi-social platforms” because they are similar to the social media platforms mentioned above. Every researcher is able to create an account and friend or follow others. However， what makes these sites different from ordinary social media platforms is that they are mainly designed for researchers to update their research achievements. For example， users can update their latest published academic paper information， including author， paper title， and journal name. Once the information is updated， friends or followers will be notified to keep up with the latest research progress of the researchers they follow.

Obviously， the original purpose behind these kinds of social platforms is to facilitate mutual understanding and communication among researchers and to keep researchers at the forefront of academic research all along. Hence， these platforms are highly popular among researchers. About 1，500 people are reported to join ResearchGate every single day. In China， researchers must import their existing research findings via ScholarMate to apply for the support of the National Natural Science Foundation of China. This is why ScholarMate boasts a large user base.

In recent years， however， a raft of researchers have come to beef about these quasi-social platforms. A friend of mine has grumbled that he detests these websites. Every time he sees that his friends have published new works， he admires them， but at the same time laments that he is too slow in delivering results and the quality of his results are inferior to that of others. “Having known others’ achievements and then thinking of myself， I felt bitterly disappointed，” said my friend. In fact， there are more than a few researchers who share his feelings.

After talking about social media platforms， let’s take a look at the social comparisons on other occasions. Many people state that they have a love-hate relationship with class reunions. They love it because classmates who have been separated for many years finally have the opportunity to get together to recall the good times spent together and reminisce about youth. They hate it because the reunion is full of social comparisons. My great buddy， who slept on my upper bunk， is already a senior manager in a Global Fortune 500 company， while I am still an insignificant junior employee. A buddy who once flunked three classes is now well-paid making a million RMB a month， while I， once a straight-A student， still strive and struggle below the city’s average salary currently. My old deskmate came to the party in a luxury car， and I had to take the subway home later. People compare themselves with classmates five years after graduation， their families ten years after graduation， and their children 20 years after graduation. In short， it seems that the atmosphere of reunions has gone sour. How many people have become depressed after attending a class reunion? And how many have vowed never to participate in a reunion again? It is not hard to find that social comparisons not only exist in the virtual world but everywhere around us.

I once heard a story from my colleague. After the Wenchuan earthquake in 2008， he went to the earthquake-hit region in Sichuan with his research team to provide psychological assistance to victims. A local female student told him that within a few days after the earthquake， the boyfriend of one of her roommates made an arduous journey of several hours from another county in Sichuan Province to the earthquake-stricken area to meet his beloved girlfriend， to accompany her， comfort her， and protect her. Other students were moved to tears by their romance. Somehow， all of a sudden， they seemed to realize something strange: Where was my boyfriend? Why didn’t he come? Why was her boyfriend so brave and considerate， and our boyfriends missing? Soon， the girls witnessing the touching love of that girl broke up with their boyfriends one after another.

Some people call this “other people’s model boyfriends”. In fact， we often hear words like “others’ parents”， “others’ children”， and “others’ teachers”. We not only compare ourselves with others but also compare our children， parents， and teachers with others’. These social comparisons stay with someone throughout one’s life.