Long-Distance Relationships

Andreea Pulpea

Online love

A long-distance relationship （LDR） takes place when the partners are geographically separated and have no face-to-face contact for a long period. With developments in technology and global opportunities， more and more people are in LDRs （in the US alone， over 15 million）. Most people would say that being close to your partner makes you happier than being far away. But is this always true？

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

A recent study shows that LDR couples communicate more than those who live together. When we are apart， our partner’s dirty socks do not annoy us. There are no arguments over unpaid bills. Without such daily problems， our partner looks better， smarter and nicer than in real life. We idealise them.

James has been in a LDR for over a year. He talks to his partner on Skype， they watch films together and ‘share’ romantic dinners 1，000 km apart. So much better than his previous living-together relationship， he says. He resented doing housework， having a joint bank account and visiting his parents-in-law every week. None of that happens when you live and love online.

Not all roses

Although communication may be stronger， there are other stresses that come with living apart. LDR couples feel less secure. They have doubts about their relationship and often feel lonely.

Some people say they don’t know their partner well enough because they don’t share a space and can’t see their reactions to daily problems.

For all these reasons， LDRs are like a permanent honeymoon. At first everything seems perfect， but is it real？ Will the relationship pass the test of time？ Forty per cent of all LDRs don’t.

The way forward

Is there anything that people can do to help LDRs survive？ Apparently， spending more time together makes all the difference because more contact creates a deeper bond. Making plans to meet up in the future is also a good idea as it gives the partners a common objective to work towards.

If possible， LDR couples should get to know their partner’s friends and family. Experts say that in this way the relationship becomes more real， closer to life.

I once saw a guy in a café slowly moving his iPhone around the table so the girl on the screen could say hi to all his friends. Funny？ Maybe. But also following expert advice.