高中英語讀后續寫規范化評分模式對描寫微技能教學的反撥作用研究

摘要：新高考讀后續寫所選材料一般是故事情節曲折起伏，具有較強邏輯性的記敘文，續寫內容一般也以記敘文為主。若能恰當地運用描寫，就能起到烘托氣氛、刻畫人物、揭示主題的作用，故事內容更具有感染力。文章立足2019年北師大新教材及歷年高考真題習作，在充分研究讀后續寫規范化評分原則之后，根據現在高中生實際情況，引導學生練習描寫這種表達方式，以提高讀后續寫的習作水平。

關鍵詞：規范化評分;描寫;教學

《普通高中英語課程標準2017版》高中英語學業質量水平二要求：學生能在書面表達中有條理地描述自己或他人的經歷，闡述觀點，表達情感態度;能描述事件發生、發展的過程;能續寫語篇。讀后續寫評分標準第五檔中原則之一是“內容的豐富”。這對學生的記敘文寫作能力提出了直接的要求，要求續寫部分詳細，生動地描述情景、態度和感情等。

如何詳細、生動地描述情景、態度和感情等，這就需要描寫。描寫就是通過一定的寫作手段，把人物或景物的狀態具體形象地描繪出來。這是一般記敘文和文學寫作常用的表達方式。描寫的作用是再現自然景色、事物情狀，描繪人物的形貌及內心世界，使人物活動的環境具體化。下面是兩篇學生的習作，讓我們感受一下有描寫與沒有描寫之間的區別。

習作一Ada then found a strong stick， which she would use to keep his leg straight. Having taken a deep breath， Ada sought to the memory of the knowledge of first-aid. So carefully did she tie Roys leg with the stick that she dared not breathe. Roy was seized by a sense of horror， yelling at his top lungs. “Please， calm down， or you will feel more painful.” Patting on his shoulder， Ada attempted to comfort him. Fortunately， Roys mum and a truck came. Then they sent him to the hospital. Witnessing Roy was saved， Ada felt that the amber-like sunshine was kissing every inch of her skin.

習作二Ada then found a strong stick， which she would use to keep his leg straight. Ada used her knowledge to tie Roys leg. Fortunately， the truck came quickly. It was a middle-aged man. Ada explained fast and the man took Roy to the hospital immediately. When Roys mother arrived， she thanked Ada again and again.

從這兩篇習作比較可知，缺少描寫的習作存在字數少，內容空洞，感染不了讀者等問題。培養學生學會描寫是讀后續寫教學中的重要環節。

一、 描寫的分類及方法

（一）分類：描寫有人物和環境描寫

人物描寫分為肖像、動作、語言、心理，環境描寫分為自然和社會環境描寫。基于高中讀后續寫的現實狀況，文章著重講述學生實際比較常用的環境場景、外貌神態、動作和情感心理描寫。語言描寫也是常用的，但對于高中生語言描寫相對比較容易，就不詳細說明了。

1. 環境場景描寫

是對人物活動的地點、季節、氣候、時間，以及場景的描寫。它有烘托人物心情，渲染當時的氣氛，推動故事情節發展，點明和突出中心的作用。The school was much smaller than he had expected， with only three classrooms. In front of the classrooms， there was a playground which got dusty on windy days and muddy on rainy days.（2019年北師大版英語必修一UNIT1）描寫了村里學校的環境，襯托出支教工作的艱辛。

2. 外貌神態描寫

對人的形象、面部表情進行刻畫，可以突出人物的性格特征。（2019年北師大版英語選修一Literature Spot The Necklace） Mathilde Loisel， a beautiful woman is miserable with her life. Although from a family of clerks， she always feels she has “fallen from a higher station” and longs to be part of the upper class.兩句話的描寫把一位長得漂亮，不甘平凡，虛榮心極強的女子刻畫得淋漓盡致。

3. 動作描寫

通過對人物個性化的行動、動作的描寫，以揭示人物性格。2019年北師大版英語必修二Unit 5 Race to The Pole中Putting on our shoes in the morning is getting slower and slower.通過穿鞋的這一動作揭示了登山者內心的無助。

4. 情感心理描寫

通過剖析人物心理活動，挖掘人物思想感情，以刻畫人物形象內在性格特征的一種描寫方法。2019年北師大版英語必修二Unit 5 A Sea Story中It may appear strange， but at that moment， when we were on the edge of the whirlpool， I felt calmer than when we were moving towards it. I began to think how amazing a thing it was to die in such a way， and how wonderful it was to see the power of nature.此段描寫了面對困難險境，作者鎮定從容的內在性格特征。

（二）方法：描寫有三種方法——感官描寫、具象詞匯和修辭手法

1. 感官描寫

是指作者用他看到的、聽到的、吃到的、嗅到的、摸到的，來寫人或景物。作者在文章中使用感官描寫，能讓文章內容更具體，更易產生共鳴。以2019年北師大版英語選修三Unit 8 20000 Leagues Under The Sea為例。The darkness was intense. I saw a black mass disappearing in the east. It was the boat！ I was lost（視覺）. Suddenly I felt myself quickly drawn up to the surface of the sea（觸覺）; and I heard these words： “If master would be so good as to hold onto my shoulder， master would swim with much greater ease.” I grabbed my faithful Conseils arm with one hand（聽覺）. I had almost no strength left; my fingers could hardly move; my mouth， opening and closing， filled with salt water（味覺）。細致入微的感官描寫讓讀者感覺身臨故事中，更好地感知故事的發展。

2. 具象詞匯

較抽象的意義轉化成英語習慣了的形象說法，從而使表達生動形象、易于理解。比如中國有句老話說“人生不如意之事十之八九”或是“人生并不總是一帆風順”，可以表達為：Life is not roses all the way.具象詞匯的使用可使讀者在腦中形成畫面感。

3. 修辭手法

常見的修辭手法包括比喻、擬人、夸張。使用修辭手法讓文字超越本身的字面意義，可以解釋復雜或抽象事物，使描述生動活潑。諸如選自2019年北師大版英語選修三Unit 8的這段：The wind moanedthrough the trees as she wandered lost and lonely through the forest. I was dark as a long winter night without moon or stars. Her fear rose likewaves in the ocean. Her breath was iciclesin the freezing air. Suddenly， through the forest rose a shadow. She screamed in fear.Dark，dangerous and larger than the highest mountain，it crept towards her. She fled...文中使用了明喻、暗喻、擬人、夸張等修辭手法。

二、 培養學生描寫能力的具體策略和實踐

（一）關于環境場景描寫

1. 單句寫長法

提供一句英文，讓學生不斷地將此句加長，延伸下去。經常在基本句上添加形容詞，副詞，從句，非謂語和帶with結構的短語，達到所要表達的意思。

基本句：Greenwich Village is a place.

增添信息后：Nowadays， Greenwich Village is an new and perfect place where the art people came together， hunting for apartments with north-facing windows and low rents.

2. 五感法

從視覺、嗅覺、味覺、聽覺和觸覺出發，讓描述顯得生動具體。（2020年7月，浙江高考習作）A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp. Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror. He roared repeatedly， shattering what was left of the silence.此時聲音的描寫塑造了故事的立體感，感受到熊來不寒而栗的恐懼。

（二）關于動作描寫

1. 動作鏈

描寫動作的時候，分解動作，使用一系列精準動作形成動作鏈。高中生讀后續寫通常采用A， B and C形式，非謂語和獨立主格呈現一系列動作。（2020年1月，浙江高考習作）Poppy was amazed. She wagged furiously， barked with joy and smiled， her tongue lolling out as she investigated the surprise. Wag， bark， smile， loll幾個動詞把老狗的驚喜描繪得淋漓盡致。

2. 重積累

英文中動詞豐富多彩，如下表，平時學習中多積累，掌握動詞的意思及用法，有利于準確使用，提高描寫的水平。

與“看”有關

lookseewatchgazestareglareglimpseglance

twinklespotglistenexamine

與“走”有關

walklimpmarchstrollcrawlcreepsneakdash

striphikemeanderpaceedgestaggerrunrush

dragstephead forentermake ones wayflee

（三）關于情感心理描寫

讀后續寫常用修辭手法來描寫情感及心理，增強語言的生動性，變抽象為具體，變無形于有形。例如Unforgettable were her eyes that shone like diamonds and lips held in a steady smile.比喻經常用上介詞like，連詞as if。再如Fear slowly creeps upon her.用擬人手法表現情感。He glared at me with burning anger.簡單句使用了夸張。（2017年11月，浙江高考習作）But what impressed me most was that tent， which was forgotten deliberately by Mom. Though she did love going camping， it was she that presented that poor boy with this tent out of sympathy. It was she that made my childhood colorful. And it was also she that showed me the true meaning of giving.作者使用了排比，最終把故事的落腳點放在“親情”，提升主題。

三、 結語

首先讓學生明確描寫種類，做到有的放矢，其次幫助掌握描寫策略，安排賞析經典作品，積累素材形成語料庫，最后進行描寫操練。描寫訓練對學生的寫作幫助是顯而易見的。

參考文獻：

[1]齊龍梅.高中英語詞匯教學中培養學生隱喻思維能力的實踐探究[J].試題與研究，2019（21）：94.

[2]鄒蓉.高中英語閱讀教學中培養學生閱讀能力的實踐探究[J].校園英語，2019（29）：115-116.

作者簡介：

蔡晴瑜，福建省泉州市，福建省泉州市培元中學。