張超

A Life Lesson That I Learned
All of us joined together to fight against the disease when COVID-19 hit the whole world in a sudden early this year.
It was a big challenge to everyone, and①no one held back. Many people devoted themselves to fighting against it. The government advised us staying②at home and avoid going to the public places if possible. Doctors and nurses tried their best to save the patients lives and take good care of them though they were at the risk of getting infected. People who were willing to help others worked on③ volunteers. They did a lot and were not afraid of the danger they faced.
The outbreak has caused so many deaths that it gave④ me a life lesson: We should cherish every moment with our loved ones.
河北省阜城縣第四中學九年級(2)班 宮靈艷
張超 男,河北省衡水市阜城縣第四中學高級英語教師、縣骨干教師、市優秀英語教師,從事英語教育教學工作31年;多年來,在《中學生英語》《學英語》《英語周報》《中學生英語讀寫》《中學英語園地》《英語輔導》《校園英語》等省級以上報刊發表文章數百篇,并有多篇論文獲獎;曾參與高中版教輔資料《天天向上》和《三維方案》的編寫工作;曾榮獲“中央教育科學研究所全國基礎教育科研先進個人”榮譽稱號;多次輔導學生在省、市和國家級英語競賽中獲獎。
1. 優點:
本文小作者緊扣主題,開頭點出大家一起參與抗疫;接著講述新冠肺炎給大家帶來了挑戰,各方一起與病毒作斗爭;最后提到要珍惜與愛的人在一起的每一刻。本文文字簡明扼要,結構清晰,條理清楚;諸多短語以及定語從句、狀語從句、并列句的合理使用,都是文章的亮點。總之,這是一篇值得推薦的習作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① and改為but。前后分句之間表示轉折關系。
② staying改為to stay。“advise sb. to do sth.”是固定結構。
③ on改為as。“work as...”表示“擔任,作為……而工作”,更符合文章意思。
④ gave改為gives。由于主句時態為現在完成時,從句時態應使用一般現在時與之呼應。
3. 評分:
按中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準,本文修改前可得18分。