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孤獨地走向未來

2020-11-06 06:23:38賈平凹
英語世界 2020年10期

賈平凹

好多人在說自己孤獨,說自己孤獨的人其實并不孤獨。孤獨不是受到了冷落和遺棄,而是無知己,不被理解。真正的孤獨者不言孤獨,偶爾作些長嘯,如我們看到的獸。

弱者都是群居著,所以有蕓蕓眾生。弱者奮斗的目的是轉化為強者,像蛹向蛾的轉化,但一旦轉化成功了,就失去了原本滿足和享受欲望的要求。國王是這樣,名人是這樣,巨富們的掙錢成了一種職業,種豬們的配種更不是為了愛情。

我見過相當多的郁郁寡歡者,也見過一些把皮膚和毛發弄得怪異的人,似乎要做孤獨,這不是孤獨,是孤僻,他們想成為六月的麥子,卻在僅長出一尺余高就出穗孕粒,結的只是蠅子頭般大的實。

每個行當里都有著孤獨人,在文學界我遇到了一位。他的聲名流布全國,對他的誹謗也鋪天蓋地,他總是默默,寵辱不驚,過著日子和進行著寫作,但我知道他是孤獨的。

“先生,”我有一天走近了他,說,“你想想,當一碗肉大家都在眼睛盯著并努力去要吃到,你卻首先將肉端跑了,能避免不被群起而攻之嗎?”

他聽了我的話,沒有說是或者不是,也沒有停下來握一下我的手,突然間淚流滿臉。

“先生,先生……”我攆著他還要說。

“我并不孤獨?!彼f,匆匆地走掉了。

我以為我要成為他的知己,但我失敗了,那他為什么要流淚呢,“我并不孤獨”又是什么意思呢?

一年后這位作家又出版了新作,在書中的某一頁上我讀到了“圣賢庸行,大人小心”八個字,我終于明白了,塵世并不會輕易讓一個人孤獨的,群居需要一種平衡,嫉妒而引發的誹謗、扼殺、打擊和迫害,你若不再脫穎,你將平凡,你若繼續走,走,終于使眾生無法趕超了,眾生就會向你歡呼和崇拜,尊你是神圣。神圣是真正的孤獨。

走向孤獨的人難以接受憐憫和同情。

So many people claim that they are lonely. Actually those who say this out loud are not. Loneliness is not a matter of feeling the cold shoulder or being abandoned. Rather it comes about when you have no bosom friends and are misunderstood by others. Someone who is genuinely lonely will not mention this. Instead they will just heave long sighs like a beast.

The weak always congregate together. So many ordinary folks do just that. The weak struggle on in life with the purpose of becoming strong. Just as a pupa metamorphosising into a moth, once the change is complete, they promptly lose their original drive to satisfy and fulfil a desire. Monarchs, as well as celebrities, have been through this process too. For the superrich, making money is a profession, just like breeding boars who spread their seed without needing love.

I have met lots of melancholy and sullen people. I have also met some who have tattoos and dyed their hair in a very weird way. They try to put on an air of being lonely. This is not true loneliness but eccentricity. They want to be like wheat in June, shooting out ears when they are only one foot high. Their grain is no bigger than the head of a fly.

There are lonely people in every walk of life. I met one such person in the literary field. He was famous all over China, and the slander spouted about him could blot out the sky and cover up the earth. However, he remained silent. Regardless of whether he was being flattered or trampled upon, he carries on his daily life and writing. I knew that he was lonely.

One day I approached him and said: “Sir, just you think about it, when everyones eyes are coveting a bowl of meat, you grab it and run away. How can you avoid being attacked by all sides?”

After hearing my words, he neither said yes nor no, nor did he stop and shake hands with me. All of a sudden his face was drenched with tears.

“Sir, sir...” I chased after him.

“I am not lonely.” With those words he left in a hurry.

I thought I could become his bosom friend, though failed. Why did he shed tears? What did he mean by “I am not lonely”?

A year later, this writer published another book. On one of its pages I found eight words “Great saints behave vulgarly, great people act cautiously.” I finally understood: the world is never quick to make somebody feel lonely. Communal living requires a kind of balance. Jealousy triggers off slander, homicide, humiliation, attacks and persecution. If you do not stand out of the crowd, you will remain common. If you toil on and on, the others can no longer catch up with or surpass you. They are then compelled to worship and applaud you, exalting you as some divine being. Those who are divine are truly lonely.

It is very hard for a man walking towards loneliness to accept the pity and sympathy of others.

重大國家戰略常用關鍵詞英文譯法(二)

——長江經濟帶發展

1. 長江經濟帶 Yangtze River Economic Belt (YEB)

2. 共抓大保護,不搞大開發 to step up conservation of the Yangtze River and stop its over development

3. 水環境改善 water environment improvement

4. 水生態修復 water environment restoration

5. 水資源利用 water resources utilization

6. 綜合交通運輸體系 integrated transport system

7. 沿江高鐵 high-speed railways along the Yangtze River (Yangtze HSR)

8. 黃金水道 golden waterway

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