Jokes

門連海

Date？

A friend who was involved in a serious motorcycle accident was unable to speak when he first regained consciousness. Wishing to know how long he had been unconscious， he took a piece of paper and a pencil from the bedstead， and after writing “Date？” on it， gave it to his nurse. She handed it back to him—after she had written the word “Married！” on it.

A Silly Rabbit

Little Steve has a pet rabbit， Bunny. He plays with it every day after school. One day his mother sees that her little boy is holding Bunny by the ears. From time to time he gives the poor rabbit an angry shake and says， “How much is two plus two？”“Steve，” says his mother， “why do you treat your poor little Bunny that way？”

“Well，” explains Steve angrily， “our teacher says that rabbits multiply very quickly， but this dummy can't even add.”

I Can't

Mr and Mrs Shaw were on safari in Africa. When they were walking through the jungle， suddenly a huge lion sprang out of the bushes and seized Mrs Shaw， dragging her off. “Shoot！” she screamed to her husband. “Shoot！”

“I can't，” he shouted back， “I've run out of film！”

約會好嗎？

一位遭遇嚴重摩托車事故的朋友剛醒過來時還不能說話。他想要知道自己失去知覺多久了。于是他從床架邊拿了紙和筆，寫著“什么日子？”，并交給他的護士小姐。護士把紙條退給他，上面寫著兩個字“已婚！”。

（注：英文單詞date有一個意思是“日期”，另一個意思是“約會”。）

愚蠢的兔子

小史蒂夫有一只心愛的兔子名叫本尼。他每天放學以后都和兔子玩。一天，他媽媽看見他抓著兔子的耳朵，不時地搖著那只可憐的兔子憤怒地說：“二加二等于幾？”“史蒂夫，”他媽媽說，“你為什么那樣對待可憐的小本尼？”

“哼，”史蒂夫氣憤地解釋道：“我們老師說兔子算乘法算得很快，但這個笨蛋連加法都不會。”

（注：multiply可以表示“繁殖”，也可以表示“乘”。老師的意思是“兔子繁殖很快”，但史蒂夫卻理解為后者。）

我不能

肖先生和肖太太在非洲旅行。當他倆走過叢林時，突然一頭猛獅跳出草叢，想拖走肖太太?！伴_槍！”她對丈夫喊道?！伴_槍！”

“我不能！”丈夫回答說，“我的膠卷用完了！”

（注：英文中shoot有一種解釋是“開槍”，另一種解釋是“搶鏡頭，快拍照”。）