Can I Have Your Business Card?

By Zhu Daoneng

On Tomb Sweeping Day, Liang decided to go to sweep his mother's tomb. So he found a store selling sacrificial offerings. When he arrived, the owner cordially took out a paper box and said, “Why not give your loved one an iPhone?”

Liang, amused, replied, “Sir, my mom is an old lady, she doesn't know how to use iPhone.”

The owner, replied without hesitation, “Steve Jobs planned for this a long time ago. That's why he has already gone down there himself to teach people how to use his phones.”

Liang forced a smile and reluctantly took out his wallet. As he was ready to leave, the shopkeeper spoke, with an air of remembering something, “Hold on a second, you haven't bought a charger for the phone.”

Liang lost his patience, “Give it a rest! A phone charger? I don't want it!”

The boss didn't get upset, but said in a soft voice, “If you don't want it, it's ok. But aren't you afraid that your mom will come looking for you in the middle of the night when the battery runs out?”

Hearing such frightening words like that on Tomb Sweeping Day, the hairs stood straight up on the nape of Liang's neck. Seeing Liang dumbfounded, the owner of the shop immediately took the charger and shoved it into his bag.

Liang's brows started to knit,

as he was forced again to fish out

his wallet. At the same time the shopkeeper took out another large pile of stuff. The things were all made out of papier-maché; he had SIM cards, phone cases and the like…

As he was handing over the money, Liang couldn't help himself teasing him, “I guess she won't come looking for me now.”

The boss was counting the money with a grin on his face, “Not for the moment. But you know Apple comes out with new products all the time.”

Liang cut him off immediately, “Sir, can I have your business card?”

The owner was stumped for a moment, pausing a second before saying, “Yes, sure. If you need anything, you can give me a call.”

Liang took the name card and casually put it in his bag stuffed

with the things for sacrificing.

The storekeeper was confused and asked, “What are you getting at?”

Liang smirked and said, “I'll burn your card along with the other offerings and give them to my mom. If she needs anything in the future she can just call you directly.”

(From Jokes, Feburary 2014. Translation: Sam Bowden)

你有名片嗎

文/朱道能

清明節那天，阿亮去給母親掃墓。他來到祭品店，老板熱情地拿出一個紙盒說：“給親人送個蘋果手機吧?！卑⒘炼喝さ溃骸袄习?，我媽是個老太太，這手機她不會用啊?！?/p>

老板不假思索地說：“喬布斯早就想到了這一點，他這不已經親自下去教了嘛！”

阿亮苦笑了一下，只好付錢。他剛準備走，老板又突然想起什么，說：“慢著，你還沒買手機充電器呢?！?/p>

阿亮不耐煩了，說：“有完沒完啊，還充電器？不要！”

老板也不惱，慢聲細語地說：“不要可以呀，不過等手機的電用完了，就不怕老太太半夜去找你？”

清明節聽見這話，阿亮不禁汗毛直豎。見阿亮愣著沒再吱聲，老板立即把充電器塞進他的袋子里。

阿亮皺了皺眉，只好又掏出錢包。這時，老板又拿出了一大堆東西，都是紙糊的，有充值卡、保護套……

把錢遞過去時，阿亮還是忍不住揶揄了一句：“這下老太太不會找我了吧？”

老板笑嘻嘻地數著錢，說：“暫時不會。不過你知道的，喬布斯的產品更新換代快?！?/p>

阿亮打斷他的話，問：“老板，你有名片嗎？”

老板一時沒反應過來，頓了一下，才說：“有！以后再需要什么，就打電話聯系我?！?/p>

阿亮接過名片，隨手就放進塞滿祭祀品的袋子里。

老板愣了一下，問：“你這是什么意思？”

阿亮微微一笑，說：“我把你的名片一起燒給我媽，以后她再需要什么，就直接打電話聯系你……”

（摘自《笑林》2014年第2期）