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雅思寫作如何結尾?

2018-01-04 16:19:00唐老雅
英語世界 2017年10期
關鍵詞:解決辦法動作作文

文/唐老雅

雅思寫作如何結尾?

文/唐老雅1

雅思作文如何結尾?這對很多烤鴨來說,可能是一個很糾結的問題。其實,老雅首先希望表明的是,沒有任何一種形式或模板是萬能的,不管你的所謂雅思名師告訴你該怎么樣怎么樣,也都只是一種選擇而已,它可能在這里很合適,但在另外的地方就不那么合適。因此,合適永遠是寫作最高的標準,而合適來自什么地方?來自你的英語水平和感覺。

老雅喜歡把寫作與體操運動聯系起來。你一套動作完美無缺,難度又高,那當然是高分;你一套動作完美無缺,難度低,那得分也不錯;你一套動作難度高,卻老掉下器械,得分肯定低;如果一套動作難度低,也老掉下器械,那當然就是災難了!

按照雅思寫作三大出題類型/寫作思路,老雅歸納了以下三種結尾方式:

(1)一邊倒型:完全同意/反對題目中的一方觀點。

結尾:再次重述觀點,并總結前文給出的理由。(30—50字即可)

(2)雙邊討論型:對雙方觀點的優劣進行討論。

結尾:總結雙方觀點,提出自己的判斷標準和結論:即傾向于更贊同某一方,還是認為雙方應互補,或者認為雙方都有缺陷,因此應該提出一個更合理的觀點。(一般需要50—80字)

(3)問題解決型:分析問題/現象產生的原因,提出解決辦法。

結尾:問題/現象的解決辦法。(一般需要100字以上)

舉例1:一邊倒型

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants and canteens. Do you agree or disagree?

【范文】

Everyone has to eat. The question is, where to eat? You may cook and eat at home, or just eat out in restaurants or canteens. My personal opinion is that eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out.

First, it has no doubt that cooking and eating at home can save a lot of money. Generally, the cost of eating in restaurants is much higher than eating at home. By cooking at home, you don’t have to pay the labor fee for the chef,and don’t have to pay tips to the waiter. What you have to do is just a little hand operation and a little time. From supermarkets, you can buy cheap vegetables and meat, which may cost only 10 percent of the same food in a restaurant.Sometimes, you can get cheaper food in discount time. Especially, a big family may enjoy the method, as the monthly cost would be less.

Second, you can freely select your favorite food to cook. A restaurant cannot always provide you with delicious food. The taste of food in restaurants is usually designed for the public, which is not suitable for a particular guest. If you miss the taste of your mum’s soup, it’s not likely to fi nd the same one in a restaurant.In this case, the best choice is to cook by yourself, to reproduce your mum’s food to the best you can.

Finally, it’s obvious that eating at home is more healthy and clean. You don’t know whether it’s dirty in the restaurants, and also you don’t know whether the food is fresh. But by cooking at home, you can know everything about the cooking materials. Moreover, it’s easy to control the usage of fat and oil, unless you don’t care to become too fat.

In brief, I believe that eating at home is healthy and clean. If people want to save money, eating at home is also a good choice. In addition, people can cook what they like as well. So I personally prefer eating at home.

Band:7(難度較低、完成質量高的動作)

老雅評析:

本習作采用的是一邊倒型結構。開頭段即表明自己的觀點:在家吃飯更好。接下來三段從三個方面論述在家吃飯的好處:(1)在家吃飯省錢;(2)在家可吃自己最喜歡的飯菜;(3)在家吃飯更健康衛生。最后一段為結尾段。各位烤鴨注意,這三個原因的先后順序安排符合一個邏輯順序:從物質層次(錢)—心理層次(喜歡)—社會層次(健康衛生)。

結尾段里,作者用三句話總結前面講的三大原因:eating at home is healthy and clean; eating at home also saves money; people can cook what they like if they eat at home。最后一句結論:我寧愿在家吃飯。

本結尾雖然結構清晰,但的確沒有什么難度,甚至過于簡單了,就像體操中下杠前的動作與前面動作是一模一樣的重復,讓看客都很無聊。若是老雅來寫,可能會玩點兒花(這得根據你自己的情況,不要從杠上掉下來最重要):In brief, I personally prefer eating at home. Besides saving money and being more healthy and clean, eating at home also gives me the freedom to cook whatever I like, and I like this feeling.

舉例2:雙邊討論型

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

【范文】

It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.

The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research,as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age.Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or fi nding it dif fi cult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall I think this is less likely today, when academic quali fi cations are essential for getting a reasonable career.

My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.

Band:7.5(難度適中、完成質量較高的動作)

老雅評析:

本習作采用的雙邊討論型結構。第一段提出現象,但不表明自己觀點;第二段討論上大學前休假或工作一年的好處,即拓寬視野、積累資源、學會獨立;第三段講此舉可能帶來的壞處,即很多人再也難以適應大學生活了(順便表明自己不太贊同這個觀點);最后一段結論段。內容并無驚艷之處。

雙邊討論的結尾段需要表明自己的觀點,并簡要說明原因(也就是說到底是什么標準讓你選擇支持某個觀點,或者兩個觀點都支持,甚或兩個觀點都反對)。本作文對學生上大學前工作或休假一年表示贊同,原因是可以拓寬視野,接下來講為什么拓寬視野很重要:拓寬視野就可以幫助他們清楚地知道生活需要什么,而知道了生活需要什么,他們就會變得非常有效率、有動力。這個結尾段顯得非常有效:觀點明確,支持觀點的理由充分。值得注意的是,在雙邊討論作文中,由于前面討論雙方觀點已經占據了很多篇幅,因此,在結尾段,一般不再對自己的結論過多展開論述,而是在前文討論基礎上表明立場,并用一至兩句話適當說出自己的理由。在這樣的結尾段中,最重要的就是要寫出:(1)自己的觀點;(2)自己觀點的判斷標準或者依據(不需詳細展開)。

舉例3:問題分析/解決型

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

【范文】

There is no doubt that traf fi c and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems, both in cities and on motorways everywhere. Solving these problems is likely to need more than a simple rise in the price of petrol.

While it is undeniable that private car use is one of the main causes of increasing in traffic and pollution, higher fuel costs are unlikely to limit the number of drivers for long. As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with anyone who needs to travel on the roads. But there are various other measures that could be implemented and would have a huge effect on these problems.

I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed.The technology is already available to produce electric cars that would be both quieter and cleaner to use. Persuading manufacturers and travelers to adopt this new technology would be a more effective strategy for improving the air quality,especially in cities.

However, traffic congestion will not be solved by changing the type of private vehicle people can use. To do this, we need to improve the choice of public transport services available to travelers. For example, if suf fi cient sky train and underground train system were built and effectively maintained in our major society, then traf fi c on the roads would be dramatically reduced. Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own cars for long journeys.

Band:8(難度較大、完成質量較高的動作)

本題是一個類似討論+問題解決綜合類題型,很少見,但萬變不離其宗。第一段提出問題,然后馬上就題目觀點提出自己意見:上漲油價可能不是解決污染和交通問題的最好辦法。第二段論述為什么上漲油價解決不了問題:(1)上漲油價并不能長久限制私人開車;(2)上漲油價會影響公共交通。本段最后一句提出還有其他辦法來解決這個問題。第三段論述另外一個辦法,即開發新型汽車來降低污染問題。第四段提出,為解決交通問題,需要提供更多交通選擇(包括空中火車、地下鐵路、長途火車和汽車等)。因此,這篇寫作的結構就是:引入段+否定題目觀點段+問題解決1段+問題解決2段。當然,本文的第三段和第四段可以合并起來,但可能會顯得太長,因此分開還是最好的選擇,畢竟兩段提出的是不同問題的解決辦法。注意:本題中有兩個問題需要解決,因此需要提出不同的解決辦法。

大家若有興趣,可以進一步學習本文在提出解決辦法時,使用的不同句型:

1)I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed.(need to do...引導建議)

2)... if sufficient sky train and underground train system were built and effectively maintained in our major society, then traffic on the roads would be dramatically reduced.(虛擬語氣引導建議)

3)Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own cars for long journeys.(should 引導建議)

相比而言,我們的同學好像通篇只會用should來引導建議和問題解決方法,學會使用提出建議的不同表達方式,對增加此類作文的得分很有幫助。另外提一句,我們的同學只要一寫到問題解決,好像就必須要寫“提高……的意識”“政府要加強教育”這樣假大空的詞句。大家可以學習一下本段中的具體建議,并記住:在雅思作文中拒絕假大空,多點具體實際、貼近生活的內容。

1 唐偉勝,廣東外語外貿大學教授,博士,英美文學研究專家。

(與老雅繼續交流,請加微信公眾號ieltswriting4u)

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