Three Dreams

By Xu Xianglin

Three Dreams

By Xu Xianglin

On the bank of Rhine River, young Ryan intended to jump into the river to end his life. He was nearly 30 years old and felt he was a man of little accomplishment and he was penniless. Even worse, he had a homely wife at home. Ryan was sick of his damned life. One priest then asked, “So what are your dreams?”Ryan answered without hesitation,“I actually had three dreams, to be a super rich man like Mr. Wright, to become a high-ranking official like Mr. Speare, and to marry a gorgeous wife like Ms. Breece.” The priest said,“That’s easy, please follow me.”

The priest first led Ryan to Mr. Wright's sumptuous mansion where Ryan saw the rich man lying on the bed and coughing a lot with a sallow and lifeless face. Inside the golden silver bedpan was sputum mixed with a trace of blood. The priest turned around and said, “Mr. Wright sought wealth for his whole life at the cost of his health. Finally, he got what he wanted, yet he had tired himself out. More terribly, he did not even know his three sons were praying for his death in order to receive their share of inheritance earlier.”

Then, they together came to Mr. Speare’s office only to find Mr. Speare surrounded by bodyguards. It is quite normal that the bodyguards would taste the foods before Mr. Speare had a meal; that the bodyguards would stare at him with eyes wide open while Mr. Speare was sleeping and they crouched with him down even when Mr. Speare was using the toilet. The priest revealed to Ryan:“Because Mr. Speare had many political opponents, he would be assassinated if he did not take notice. Moreover, even when walking in the street, he has these bodyguards following. Seeing it, Ryan sighed, So, does it seem that Mr. Speare is like a prisoner?”

Ms. Breece, who was the most popular and sexy female film star of the time, was shouting at a Philippine maid in her home. Unexpectedly, she even pricked the maid with a lit cigarette. The maid’s skin undoubtedly blistered. The maid asked, “Madam, Mr. Burger is requesting to see you.” Ms. Breece sneered, “Just let him go. I decided to divorce him today and we no longer have a relationship. By the way, tell him that I am going to get married to my 12th husband tomorrow.” Then she slammed the door in the maid’s face.

Ryan was startled and could not utter a word. The priest immediately asked: “Young man, you can pick out one of your three dreams and I am sure you can make it.” Ryan thought for a while, replying, “Many thanks, my dear father, I actually don’t need anything. Compared with Mr. Wright, I possess health that he can’t buy with his money; compared with Mr. Speare, I own the freedom which he doesn’t have; as for Ms. Breece, my wife is more virtuous than her.”

在萊茵河畔，青年萊恩欲跳河一死。他認為自己年近30歲一事無成，一文不名，家里還有個看了惡心的黃臉婆，這樣的日子受夠了。牧師問道：“那么你的理想是什么呢？”萊恩說：“我曾經有三個理想，做像懷特那樣的超級大富翁，做像斯皮爾那樣的高官，娶布蕾絲那樣的漂亮女人做妻子。”牧師說：“這很容易，你跟我來吧！”

牧師領著萊恩先來到超級富翁懷特的豪宅，只見他正躺在床上大聲咳嗽，臉色蠟黃，面前的金盆里是他剛吐過的帶血絲的痰。牧師轉身對萊恩說：“懷特先生不惜犧牲自己的健康追求財富，結果財富得到了，他卻累倒了，他還不知道三個兒子正祈禱他早日升天，好早日繼承遺產呢。”

兩人又來到斯皮爾的官邸，只見他身邊圍著幾個人，顯然是保鏢。斯皮爾吃飯，保鏢先嘗；斯皮爾睡覺，保鏢都瞪大了眼睛盯著他；就是斯皮爾上廁所，他們也在馬桶旁蹲著。牧師對萊恩說：“斯皮爾的政敵很多，稍不注意就要遭到黑手，他就是上街散步，保鏢都寸步不離。”萊恩失望地說：“那他和蹲監獄有什么兩樣？”

在當代最紅、最性感的女明星布蕾絲家里，布蕾絲正沖一位菲律賓傭人大發脾氣，她甚至拿起手里的煙頭朝傭人身上扎，傭人的皮膚很快起了泡。女傭說：“小姐，伯格先生求見。”布蕾絲眼皮也不抬地吩咐道：“叫他滾出去，今天我已經和他離婚了，與他什么關系也沒有了。順便帶個信兒給他，明天我就要和我的第12任丈夫結婚了。”說完，“啪”一聲關上了房門。

萊恩看得目瞪口呆。牧師問萊恩：“小伙子，三個理想，你隨便挑一個，我都可以替你實現。”萊恩想了一會兒，說：“不，牧師，其實我什么也不缺，與懷特先生相比，我有他所有金錢都買不來的健康，與斯皮爾先生相比，我有他所沒有的自由，至于布蕾絲嘛，我老婆可比她賢淑善良多了……”

三個理想

文 |徐向林