高考作文的示范性

龔磊++陳慈明

2017年的高考即將到來，針對最令同學們頭疼的書面表達，我們給出了五個范例。

[范例Ⅰ][順承自然，過渡流暢]

（2015·全國卷Ⅰ）

Dear Peter，

Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.

The “Foreign Cultures” section in our newspaper is very popular among us students. It carries articles written by foreign friends about the cultures of their home countries. Would you please write something about the culture in your part of the United States？ And we would especially welcome articles about how Americans spend their holidays and festivals， and the life of American high school students. You can write anything relevant so long as its interesting and informative. 400 words would be fine. Could we have your article before June 28？

Im looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours，

Li Hua

點評 一般說來，英語作文要邏輯清晰，銜接緊湊，這主要通過銜接詞的使用實現(xiàn)。但銜接詞語使用過多，又會使文章顯得不夠簡潔。縱觀本文，主要是使用簡單結(jié)構，搭配并列句和部分從句。盡管用的銜接詞語不多，但并未覺得條理不清，結(jié)構不明。相反，讀此文給人以一氣呵成之感，其中的奧妙就在于文中雖然大量使用簡單句，但通過對簡單句式加以潤色和修飾，如文中第二句It carries articles written by foreign friends about the cultures of their home countries，句子主干部分為It carries articles，在此基礎上再加上written by foreign friends about ...等成分進行拓展，很好地將題目的要求表達出來之余，還能與后文中的the alture in your part of the Unlted States對照，從而實現(xiàn)文章內(nèi)容的完美銜接。

[范例Ⅱ][長短交替，錯落有致]

（2016·全國卷丙卷）

Dear Bob，

Im sorry to say that I cannot go to the bookstore with you on Friday afternoon. I have just found that I have to attend an important class meeting that afternoon. I hope the change will not cause you too much trouble.

Shall we go on Saturday morning？ We can set out early so that well have more time to read and select books. If its convenient for you， lets meet at 8：30 outside the school gate. If not， let me know what time suits you best. I should be available any time after school next week.

Yours，

Li Hua

點評 在寫作當中，為了增強文章的節(jié)奏感和可讀性，可以交替使用長短句、簡單句和復合句。而且多樣化的句式能夠顯示出作者的語言基本功，達到提升作文評分等級的目的。范文的內(nèi)容包括了所有要點，而且做到了語意連貫。文中使用了賓語從句that I have to attend an important class meeting that afternoon和the change will not cause you too much trouble，目的狀語從句so that well have more time to read and select books，條件句If its convenient for you，省略句If not等。長短句結(jié)合形成呼應，使內(nèi)容更加豐富。

[范例Ⅲ][難易相間，層次感強]

（2016·江蘇卷）

On-line voting becomes increasingly popular， and many competitions get people involved in it. It is beneficial to some people， while it puts others into a dilemma over whether to vote or not.

In my opinion， on-line voting is an inseparable part of modern life and should be welcomed， since it is no more than a way to participate in public life. It makes no difference from ordinary voting events， in which candidates go around to seek supports. In addition， the Internet makes surveying and voting easy and convenient， regardless of time and space. Furthermore， voting on the Internet makes instant feedback possible.

To be honest， voters sometimes feel annoyed， not because they hate voting， but because they are divided between emotion and fairness. Things will turn for the better if we can work out some participation rules for people to obey. Therefore， I hold a positive attitude towards on-line voting.

點評 范文很好地完成了所有任務。第一段提出網(wǎng)絡投票很流行，給人們帶來好處，同時也有不利之處；第二段給出個人觀點和理由，觀點明確，論據(jù)有力；第三段提出了合理的建議。

從寫作技巧來看，文章中使用了較多的復合句，如定語從句... in which candidates go around to seek supports，狀語從句... if we can work out some participation rules for people to obey等，搭配使用簡單句，從而使文章結(jié)構合理，層次分明。

文中銜接詞的運用較為合理，如in my opinion，in addition，furthermore，to be honest等。

全文語言地道，時態(tài)和人稱運用準確無誤，體現(xiàn)出很強的語言運用能力。

[范例Ⅳ][簡潔明了，緊扣文題]

（2015·北京卷）

Dear Jim，

Im writing to tell you my exciting plan for the summer holiday. I want to join a Dragon Boat Training Camp. I wonder if youd like to go with me.

This camp will open on July 20， It offers teenagers like you and me a chance to enjoy sports and learn about Chinese culture. If you are interested in it， let me know and Ill send you more information.

Hope to meet you at the training camp this summer.

Yours，

Li Hua

點評 不少體裁，如書信、電子郵件等，應突出其交際作用，行文應以簡潔明了為上。此時若大量使用復雜結(jié)構，往往給人以煩冗之感。本文作為一封電子郵件，在簡潔明了方面做得很好，寥寥數(shù)句就清楚無誤地傳達了文題的要點。

[范例Ⅴ][表情達意，生動形象]

（2015·重慶卷）

Were I three years younger than I am now， I would strongly recommend that I set more practical and specific goals. As an old saying goes， living without a clear and achievable aim is like sailing without a compass. Compared with many abstract objectives， practical ones can bring us more courage and confidence whenever we make one step forward. If only I could go back and reset my goals.

點評 本文中l(wèi)iving without a clear and achievable aim is like sailing without a compass.這一句盡管結(jié)構并不復雜，屬于“主—系—表”結(jié)構，但該句采用了比喻這一修辭手法，將無目標的生活比作無指南針的航海，頓時使人生目標形象起來。