Visiting Grandpa

Track 9

by anonymous

翻譯：常青

Visiting Grandpa

外公，愿您一切安好

Track 9

by anonymous

翻譯：常青

My eyes are filled with tears that threaten to1)spill over as I look at grandpa’s blank,2)pale blue eyes. My sister is just fnished reading a book written by Richard Paul Evans注1, and my mom turns to face her father who doesn’t even remember reading the same book the day before. “You were that dad for me,” she3)whispers. “Really?” he replies, smiling with his4)childlike5)oblivion. My mom nods, crying, and I6)clench my hands until my fngers turn white from loss of blood fow.

How can you actually have lost someone in your life when they are still living? Well, I’ve lost my grandpa to Alzheimer’s disease注2. Sometimes he says funny things that don’t make sense, like “You are a pretty7)pickle” or “I am the King of Pop-8)tarts” after some TV9)commercials. Even though I’ll laugh, my heart10)pangs with his loss of sense. I often wonder what he’d think if he were looking down on himself from the heavens. Maybe he’d be angry, at his forgotten11)dignity. Maybe he’d feel his family has left him in the time he needed us most.

注1：理查德·保羅·埃文斯，美國當(dāng)代作家，著有小說《圣誕禮盒》。

注2：阿爾茨海默病（Alzheimer’s disease）亦稱“阿爾茨海默氏癡呆”，老年期最常見的精神病。

This weekend, he is staying at a12)nursing home which is really nice, but I have never hated a place more. His wife, my grandma, is going to my great grandmother’s 100th birthday party in another state.13)Obviously, he is in no position to14)accompany her. He can15)barely walk since he doesn’t remember how to move his legs, and usually16)shuffles them uselessly on the foor.

Yesterday was my first time visiting him. He had been asleep that very morning and seemed quite enjoying it. He had his own room， with two17)armchairs and a bed which could sense change in18)pressure and would19)alarm the20)main desk if he got out of bed during the night. There were many activities for him to take part in, and when we came, he was sitting around a21)circular table where there was a bag of22)popcorn and a mini can of soda with a small23)straw24)sticking out of it. “Hey, papa,” my mom smiled, hugging him with her arms. I hugged him next and shaking arms gathered around me， his25)arthritic fingers kept26)stroking my shoulder. “I love you,” I whispered. As we took him back to his bedroom, I couldn’t help but27)glance into the other dark rooms where sick, lonely and elderly people lay still in their beds. There was often an28)oxygen machine by their side. They were all friendly, but I still felt29)awful.

I always thought, as a grandpa, I’d live happily, walking and talking until the very day I die. I always thought that I’d be well enough to see my grandchildren and play with them, despite with30)graying hair and difficulty in walking. But that kind of grandparents don’t live here, don’t live in

1) spill over 溢出

2) pale blue 淡藍(lán)色

3) whisper ['wIsp?] v. 低聲說，耳語

4) childlike ['t?aIldlaIk] adj. 天真爛漫的，孩子似的

5) oblivion [?'blIvI?n] n. 遺忘，忘卻

6) clench [klent?] v. 握緊（拳頭）

7) pickle ['pIk?l] n. 泡菜

8) tart [ta?t] n. 果餡餅

9) commercial [k?'m????l] n. 商業(yè)廣告

10) pang [p??] v. 使劇痛，使極度痛苦

11) dignity ['dIgnItI] n. 尊嚴(yán)

12) nursing home 養(yǎng)老院

13) obviously ['?bvI?slI] adv. 明顯地

14) accompany [?'k?mp?nI] v. 陪伴，伴隨

15) barely ['be?lI] adv. 幾乎不

16） shuffe ［'??f?l] v. 拖著步子走

17) armchair ['a?mt?e?] n. 扶手椅

18) pressure ['pre??] n. 壓力

19) alarm [?'la?m] v. 發(fā)出警報

20) main desk 主臺

21) circular ['s??kj?l?] adj. 圓形的

22) popcorn ['p?pk??n] n. 爆米花

23) straw [str??] n. 吸管

24) stick [stIk] v. 伸出

25) arthritic [a?'θrItIk] adj. 關(guān)節(jié)炎的

26) stroke [str??k] v. 輕撫

27) glance [gla?ns] v. 掃視

28） oxygen machine 制氧機

29) awful ['??f?l] adj. 可怕的，糟糕的

30) graying hair 白發(fā)the nursing home. These are the people that have the most31)severe diseases such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease注3， or in most cases， have diffculty with some32)physical side of their bodies.

Today when we went to visit grandpa, he was at the same table, playing with a puzzle. He was33)muttering some34)nonsense, obviously to the elderly man in front of him. “God loves all of his children,” the other man breathed heavily35)in response. I began to think of the life I may live so many years in the future. I may be just like the people I saw, sitting in a heavily36)equipped37)wheelchair with a clear38)tube running under my nose, or speaking words nonsense to each other.

This is the life I am given, and maybe when I’m very old, I won’t39)be in good condition. But for now, with my healthy body, I must live for all those people who can not do the things their hearts most desire. I must wake up every morning with the light shining through my window and jump out of bed. I must run through the big, green felds and feel the sunshine on my face. I must sing and40)prance around, enjoying life41)to the fullest. And perhaps someday, when I am dancing, someone very aged will be watching out of their windows and feel as if they were dancing too.

31) severe [sI'vI?] adj. 嚴(yán)重的

32) physical ['fIzIk?l] adj. 身體的

33) mutter ['m?t?] v. 嘀咕

34) nonsense ['n?ns?ns] n. 無意義的話

35) in response 作為回答

36） equip ［I'kwIp] v. 裝備，配備

37) wheelchair ['wi?lt?e?] n. 輪椅

38) tube ['tju?b] n. 管子

39) be in good condition 身體狀態(tài)好

40) prance [pra?ns] v. 昂首闊步，歡躍

41) to the fullest 盡情地，最充分地

注3：帕金森病（Parkinson’s disease）是一種常見的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)變性疾病，多見于老年人。

當(dāng)我看著外公那空洞的淺藍(lán)色雙眼時，頓時熱淚盈眶。我的姐姐剛好讀完了理查德·保羅·埃文斯寫的一本書，而我的母親轉(zhuǎn)身面向她的父親—那個甚至忘記自己前一天剛讀過同一本書的父親。“你依然是我不變的父親，”母親輕聲說道。“真的嗎？”外公問道，他像個忘掉了一切煩惱的孩子般微笑著。母親哭著點點頭，而我緊握著拳頭直到手指因為血液循環(huán)不暢而發(fā)白。

人們怎么會真的在生活中失去仍然健在的親人呢？好吧，我已經(jīng)失去了患上阿爾茨海默病的外公。有時候，當(dāng)他看完一些電視廣告，他就會說出一些好笑的完全無厘頭的話，好比“你是一條美麗的泡菜”或是“我是餡餅之王”那樣的話。雖然我會大笑，但一想到他是神志不清的，我就感到十分心痛。我常常想，如果他在天堂上看到自己變成這樣，他會怎么想。或許他會生氣，因為他那被遺忘的尊嚴(yán)。或許他會覺得當(dāng)他最需要我們的時候，我們卻把他丟下了。

這個周末，外公住進了一家服務(wù)很好的養(yǎng)老院里。可是，我從沒如此討厭過一個地方。他的老伴，也就是我的外婆，準(zhǔn)備到另一個州去參加我曾祖母的百歲壽宴。很顯然，外公不能陪她去了。自從他忘記了如何挪動自己的雙腿后，他就幾乎不怎么行走了。通常他就是在地板上無力地拖曳著雙腳。

昨天，我第一次去探望了外公。他睡了整整一個上午，似乎十分享受。他單獨住在一個房間里，房間里有兩張扶手椅和一張能夠感受到壓力變化的病床。如果外公在夜里離開了病床，病床就會向主臺發(fā)出警報。外公在那里可以參加很多活動。我們?nèi)ヌ酵夤臅r候，外公就坐在一張圓桌旁，桌上放著一包爆米花還有一小罐插著吸管的汽水。母親用雙臂抱著外公，笑著說：“嘿，爸爸。”隨后，我也去抱著外公。外公雙臂顫抖，用患有關(guān)節(jié)炎的手指一直輕撫著我的肩膀。“我愛你。”我低聲說道。當(dāng)我們帶外公回臥房時，我忍不住瞥了一眼其他幾個昏暗的房間。在那些房間里，身患疾病的孤獨老人靜靜地躺在病床上。他們身旁通常會有一臺制氧機。他們看上去都十分親切，可是我仍然感覺很糟糕。

我常常在想，當(dāng)我成為了外公，我會快樂地活著，還能走路，還能說話，直至死去的那一天。我一直覺得，即便我頭發(fā)花白、行動不便，我還是能夠看著我的孫子孫女們成長并且和他們一起玩耍。但那樣的老人并不住在這里，不住在養(yǎng)老院里。養(yǎng)老院里的老人大多都患有阿爾茨海默病或帕金森病等最為嚴(yán)重的疾病，他們身體中的某一處往往存在病痛。

今天我們?nèi)ヌ酵夤臅r候，他還是坐在那張圓桌旁，玩起了拼圖。顯然他正對著他面前的一位老人咕噥著一些毫無意義的話。這位老人深深地吸了口氣，回應(yīng)外公：“上帝愛他所有的兒女。”我開始想象著自己在多年后的未來可能會過的生活。我可能會像我眼前的這些老人們一樣，坐在一張配備齊全的輪椅上，鼻子里插著透明的吸氧管，又或是和其他人互相說著一些毫無意義的話。

或許當(dāng)我很老很老的時候，我將不再健康，而這就是我被賦予的生命。不過現(xiàn)在，趁我還有一個健康的身體時，我一定要為那些無法達(dá)成心底最大渴望的人們好好地活著。每當(dāng)晨間的陽光穿透窗戶時，我一定要從床上跳起來。我一定要在寬廣的草坪上奔跑，好好地感受那灑在臉上的陽光。我要一邊唱歌，一邊歡躍，盡情地享受生活。然后或許有一天，會有一個老人透過窗子看到我在外面跳舞，而他會感覺自己仿佛也在歡快地舞動著。