學渣必讀：怎樣假裝讀過某本文學名著

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學渣必讀：怎樣假裝讀過某本文學名著

Moby Dick

《白鯨》

by Herman Melville 赫爾曼·梅爾維爾 著

▌Clearly this one has a nautical theme. Look at the cover！Also， the book's full title is Moby Dick or The Whale. So boats， a whale. It's a well respected book so it's fairly safe to assume②assume英 ［?'sju?m］ 美 ［?'sum］ vt. 承擔；假定；采取；呈現vi. 裝腔作勢；多管閑事The situation assumed a threatening character.形勢顯得很險惡。that it's not told from the perspective of the whale， therefore there has to be a human character.

顯然這是一篇海洋題材的小說啦，不信你看封面！該書的全稱是《莫比·迪克》，又名《白鯨》，所以書的內容必定涉及船與鯨。既然是一部飽受贊譽的書，應該不會是從白鯨的角度闡述，所以一定會有個人類角色。

▌Not to be confused with：The Old Man and the Sea or The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

易與哪些名著混淆：《老人與海》和《老水手之歌》。

▌Handy hint： in Star Trek：First Contact， Captain Picard makes a speech that essentially sums up the plot and point of Moby Dick in about 30 seconds.

小貼士：看看《星際迷航8：第一類接觸》這部片子吧，里面有個30秒的演講片段，就是皮卡德艦長對《白鯨》情節和要點的總結。

Nineteen Eighty-Four

《一九八四》

by George Orwell 喬治·奧威爾 著

▌Set in the year 1984， but written， like， ages before. You know things from this book， even if you don't know you do （known unknowns， right）. Big brother. Clocks striking 13. War is peace，etc.

故事背景設定在1984年，但寫作時間大概在，很久以前吧。雖然你覺得你不了解這本書，但其實它的很多內容你肯定都聽過（已知的未知，對不），比如“老大哥”、“鐘敲了十三下”、“戰爭即和平”等等。

▌Not to be confused with：Brave New World， the reality series Big Brother， David Bowie's worst song.

易混淆：小說《美麗新世界》，真人秀節目《老大哥》，大衛·鮑威有一首極其難聽的歌也叫“1984”。

▌Handy hint： Cleverly parodied on both The Simpsons and Futurama.

小貼士：在動畫片《辛普森家庭》和《飛出個未來》里，你都能看到模仿《一九八四》的橋段，非常有趣。

War and Peace

《戰爭與和平》

by Leo Tolstoy 列夫·托爾斯泰著

▌Funny fact about War and Peace： nobody has actually read it. So just make up whatever you like and people will have to play along and pretend they know what you're talking about.

告訴你個關于《戰爭與和平》的搞笑事實：幾乎沒人真正讀過這本書。所以你就盡情胡謅、隨意發揮吧，對方也會配合你的表演，裝成跟你一樣讀過這本書的人。

以上只是玩笑，勿要當真，前人留下的好書還是值得一讀的。

Before I turned 29， Dad retired and my parents moved from Victoria to Queensland. As I'm the only child， my friends were shocked that my parents could move so far away from me. I just shrugged， not feeling at all fazed by the situation-instead seeing it as an opportunity to have somewhere warm to go on holidays.

But six months into their retirement， my mother phoned to say she had some bad news：Dad had cancer. "But don't worry，" she told me. It was lymphoma and the doctors had assured①assure 英 ［?'???; ?'???］ 美 ［?'??r］ vt. 保證；擔保；使確信；弄清楚I assure you I'll be there. 我向你保證我一定到那兒去。her this was the most treatable kind. With chemotherapy， he would be "right as rain" in a couple of months. However， when I arrived in Queensland for a visit two months later， I was shocked by my father's appearance. He was frail，underweight and had lost all his hair from the chemo. Although he was only 65， he looked as though

he had aged 20 years. It was a sad sight and I felt my emotions welling up inside. Before I knew what was happening， I fell upon my dad with hugs and kisses， and for the first time in my life I said， "I love you，Dad！" He seemed a little taken aback， but awkwardly told me he loved me， too.

Sunday during my weekly phone call to my mother. After we had dispensed with our usual pleasantries and updates， I took a deep breath and asked，"Do you love me， Mum？" After a short hesitation②hesitation英 ［hez?'te??n］ 美 ［,h?z?'te??n］ n. 猶豫She agreed to see him again without hesitation. 她沒有猶豫就同意和他再次見面。， she replied brusquely，"You know I love you. Don't be silly."

"Well， I want it to be said in ours. From now on I want to end our conversations with 'I love you.' And that goes for Dad， too."

My mother reluctantly③reluctant英 ［r?'l?kt（?）nt］ 美 ［r?'l?kt?nt］ adj. 不情愿的；勉強的；頑抗的agreed， and for the first time our telephone conversation ended with，"I love you， Mum，" and she replied， "I love you， too."

In the meantime， Dad had bravely completed his cancer treatments and， twelve months after being diagnosed， thankfully went into remission④remission 英 ［r?'m??（?）n］ 美 ［r?'m???n］ n. 緩解；寬恕；豁免His leukemia in remission now， John and Marianne Kanzius are sharing time together inthe white house by the. A year later the lymphoma flared up again，but once more he valiantly fought it off.

Unfortunately， the stress and worry had taken its toll on my mother， and in May 2000 she was diagnosed with pancreatic⑤cancer. I was told that only five percent of patients survive.

Just five months after being diagnosed， Mum was admitted to hospital. It was a few days before I was due to fly out for another visit. Her condition was serious but not critical， and I phoned every morning to check on her. One morning when I rang， she sounded in good spirits， but that evening my instincts told me I needed to ring again.

My worst fear was confirmed when a nurse answered the phone and regretfully informed me that my mother's condition had rapidly deteriorated. She wasn't expected to make it through the night.

Knowing I couldn't get a flight in time， I asked the nurse to put the phone next to my mother's ear so I could talk to her. "She's barely conscious，" the nurse replied. "It's unlikely she'll hear you." But I didn't care. I wanted to do it anyway.

Once she'd placed the phone by my mother's ear， I started sobbing and telling Mum over and over again that I loved her，hoping she could hear. At first， all I could hear from the other end was "Hmmmm"-but then， like a miracle， with a deep sigh she said，"Love you... love you， darling." It was the last thing she said before drifting into unconsciousness.

Losing a parent is excruciatingly painful and I shed many tears， but

How Can You Pretend①pretend英 ［pr?'tend］ 美 ［pr?'t?nd］ vi. 假裝，偽裝，佯裝adj. 假裝的vt. 假裝，偽裝，模擬If you pretend to know what you don't know， you'll only make a fool of yourself. 不懂裝懂就會鬧笑話to Have Read Classic Novels