姜經(jīng)志
男,中學(xué)英語高級(jí)教師、安徽省骨干教師、淮北市優(yōu)秀教師、中國外語學(xué)習(xí)研究會(huì)會(huì)員、《中學(xué)生英語》特約編委、《學(xué)英語》和《英語周報(bào)》特約編輯。多年來,在省級(jí)以上報(bào)刊發(fā)表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文獲獎(jiǎng);曾主編《初中生英語滿分作文大全》、《英語奧林匹克》、《新目標(biāo)英語八年級(jí)暑假作業(yè)》,參編《高中英語知識(shí)點(diǎn)反饋與閱讀》、《初中英語題典大全》、《21世紀(jì)英語學(xué)習(xí)指南》等;多次輔導(dǎo)學(xué)生在國家和省級(jí)英語競賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。
If you meet trouble, may be① your heart sinks at once or you feel its so unfair to you in the world. But you shouldnt think so. Other living things have much② troubles than you. If you dont believe this, please look at the little grass.
When he just comes up, groups of naughty boys play football with③ him. They break his body, but he doesnt mind. He grows up even faster. When he is growing, people place a lot of rubbish on his head. He tries his best to grow up to look for sunlight. After a few days, you will find the green grass has grown a lot of④ and each blade is pointing toward the sun and laughing.
The river runs brave⑤ forever. She rushes over the large stones on her way. She goes through the hills and forests and goes farther and farthest⑥. At last, she gets to the sea.
Dear friends, dont be afraid or sad if you meet trouble. You should try your best to overcome it.
1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn):
小作者的這篇文章以物為證,闡述道理,所列舉的物證既有微不足道的小草,也有雷霆萬鈞的江河,說服力很強(qiáng)。文章思路清晰、通俗易懂,有極強(qiáng)的感染力。語言表達(dá)較為準(zhǔn)確,語義連貫、完整,行文流暢。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①此處應(yīng)改為maybe。maybe是副詞,意為“也許”。
②此處應(yīng)改為more。因?yàn)樵撎幈硎颈容^,應(yīng)用比較級(jí)。
③此處應(yīng)改為on。因?yàn)楹⒆觽兲咦闱蚴窃诓莸厣稀?/p>
④此處應(yīng)改為a lot。a lot在此作狀語。
⑤此處應(yīng)改為bravely。副詞修飾動(dòng)詞作狀語。
⑥此處應(yīng)改為farther。“比較級(jí)+and+比較級(jí)”表示“越來越……”,是固定結(jié)構(gòu)。
3. 評(píng)分:
按中考英語作文滿分20分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得17分。
安徽省濉溪縣四鋪中心學(xué)校 ?; 劉賽