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主人,來玩!

2015-04-29 00:00:00byCraigHarper
瘋狂英語·閱讀版 2015年4期

It must be morning; I’m hungry. I can hear the shower and feel the sun on my back, so I’m guessing the Boss is awake. I lift my head off my bed and look down the passage. I want a shower too. Sometimes I 1)try and get in but he won’t let me. Boring. He’s not so happy in the mornings any more. He used to be, but things have changed. I think it’s stress.

Not really sure what that is, but I know it’s not good. It’s a human thing. I’ve heard him talk about it on the phone. Don’t really know what a phone is either, but I know they’re good to chew. Chewing’s one of my favourite things.

In the old days we 2)wrestled every morning. He’d pull my ears and I’d jump on his head. Before he went to work, we’d play ball. After work too. He’d throw, I’d fetch. He’d throw, I’d fetch. What an amazing game. Such fun. He’d laugh and talk human. I’d 3)growl.

But lately he seems 4)grumpy.

Sometimes, I wonder if he still loves me. I lick him anyway because he’s my favourite human in the world. I get so excited to see him. When he hugs me, my tail 5)wags all by itself. I wonder why my kisses don’t make him happy like they used to.

In the good old days, we would walk to the park every day. We’d hang out with other dogs and humans. I mostly played with Kelvin the fat Labrador and the Boss would laugh with Kelvin’s human; a female who smelled like 6)vanilla.

We don’t walk together much these days. And when we do, he talks on the phone. I hate that phone. I’m gonna eat it when he’s not looking.

I liked it more when we lived in the first house. The little one. I loved that place. He was happier and he didn’t yell at me for getting on the couch, chewing his shoes. We used to watch TV together on the couch every night. Well, I slept, he watched. He would rest his hand on my head. I like that.

Now we live in a big house, with a big stupid couch. A stupid couch for humans only. Not dogs. I don’t like the big house or the big couch. He makes me stay down on the stupid slippery polished floor boards. The other day I slid into the table and hurt my nose. Stupid floor boards.

When I was a puppy we used to go everywhere together. We would both ride in the old 7)station wagon and I would put my head out the window, or on his lap. It was the most fun ever. I don’t know why humans don’t do it. Head out the window, that is. Don’t they know?

No more head out the window action for me these days though. Mr. Serious has a new fancy car. Apparently, it’s a dog-free zone too. On the rare occasion that I do get a ride, I have to lie on three blankets. And no wind in my face. What’s the point of that? Like having a bone you can’t chew. Stupid.

We used to go to the beach every weekend in that old station wagon. We surfed together. Well, he surfed, I chased 8)seagulls, played in the waves and rolled in the sand. On the way home I would put my wet, sandy, hairy body on the front seat and he was happy I was next to him. I loved that car too. Those were the days. We haven’t done that since I was four. Five years ago.

Too busy apparently. Too busy being successful and important to have fun with me. Glad I’m not successful, it doesn’t look like much fun.

He’s rarely happy these days. And he’s always too tired to do anything, even when I pull his sleeve, or lick his face. If he got rid of the stupid slippery floor, the dumb couch, the dumb car and played with me more, then he would be happy. Me too.

I used to sleep on the end of his bed. Used to (heavy sigh). But now he has a new dog-free bed too. Of course. It’s expensive and apparently I moult. Whatever that means. I hate that bed. I chew the legs when he’s not around.

Next year we’re moving to another house. A bigger one. Maybe that will make him happy. Hope so. Doubt it though. If I could speak, I’d tell him that too. I don’t get the big house thing; there’s only him and me. Us dogs don’t really care how big our 9)kennel is, we just want to be near our human.

Anyway, I’m very excited about today. I’m gonna hang out with Charlie for a while. He’s my buddy from over the fence. We do fun stuff together every day. Mostly we chase birds. I hate those birds. And we chew old lady Jacobs’ laundry baskets. We’ve eaten three of them.

Then I might lie in the sun, and chew my foot for a while. I might have a 10)power-nap too. Chasing birds makes me tired.

I 11)reckon the Boss should lie in the sun with me, and chew his foot for a while. It’s relaxing. It might help with his stress. Whatever that is.

現在一定是早上;我餓了。我聽到有人洗澡的聲音,感到陽光照在我的背上,所以我猜老大已經醒了。我把頭伸到床邊,朝走廊望去。我也想洗個澡。有時,我會想辦法進去,但是他不會讓我這樣做的。真無趣?,F在的早上他不像以前那么開心了,一切都變了。我想這都是因為壓力。

其實我并不清楚壓力是什么,但是我知道那不是什么好東西。那是人類才有的東西。我曾經聽他在電話里講過這個。我其實也不清楚電話是什么,但是我知道那很適合用來咬。咬東西是我最喜歡做的事之一。

以前,我們每天早上都會來一場摔跤比賽。他會扯扯我的耳朵,而我會跳到他的頭上去。在他上班前,我們會玩球,他下班后,我們也這么玩。他扔,我接。他扔,我接。多棒的一個游戲,多有趣。他會笑著說人類的話,而我會汪汪地叫著。

但最近,他似乎很暴躁。

有時候,我懷疑他是否還愛著我。無論如何,我都會舔他,因為他是我在這個世界上最喜歡的人類??吹剿?,我就很激動。當他抱著我時,我的尾巴就會不由自主地搖起來。我很疑惑為什么我的親吻不能像以前一樣讓他高興起來。

在過去那些美好的日子里,我們每天都會去公園散步。我們會和其他狗狗和人類玩。我一般會和凱爾文玩,凱爾文是一只胖胖的拉布拉多,而老大會和凱爾文的主人一起說笑,一個人類的雌性,她身上有股類似香草的味道。

如今,我們很少一起散步了。而且,在我們散步時,他都在講電話。我討厭那個電話?!?br>

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