米蘭達·可兒：天使在人間

2015-04-29 00:00:00ByCraigFerguson

瘋狂英語·原聲版 2015年11期

每當邁向年底，有一個時裝展總會成為歐美時尚圈及娛樂圈的頭等大事——這就是“維多利亞的秘密時尚秀”（Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show）。這個時尚內衣大牌用奪目的寶石、璀璨的舞臺、帶感的現場表演與精美的天使翅膀捧紅了一代又一代的傳奇超模，澳大利亞美女米蘭達·可兒就是其中的佼佼者。米蘭達所擁有的不僅僅是天使面孔、魔鬼身材與“維密天使”的光環，她經歷過至愛的離世，出過勵志暢銷書；她與前夫奧蘭多·布魯姆（Orlando Bloom）育有一子，與家人一起創立了自己的護膚品牌；她的一舉一動都能引起媒體轟動，多年來一直是全世界收入最高的模特之一。

在這一期節目中，米蘭達與“名嘴”克雷格·費格斯大方暢談她的生活——與其說是一次不太正經的采訪，不如說這是一段默契十足的“相聲”，兩人捧哏逗哏，互相調侃，真是讓人忍俊不禁！

Miranda Kerr： A Joyful Angel Enjoys Her Life

Craig Ferguson （Host）： Welcome back， everybody！ My next guest is a very， uh， beautiful woman. She’s a businesswoman， really. And she’s an author and a model. Eh， she’s featured in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Miranda Kerr， everybody！ Miranda Kerr！

Welcome， Miranda. You look absolutely lovely， like， really very nice indeed…

Miranda Kerr： Thank you.

Craig： …I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you before， but you’re， you’re a reasonably attractive young lady.

Miranda： Thank you. And you’re very handsome， too.

Craig： Yeah， you gotta throw a bit more 1）oomph behind it， if you’re gonna say it.

Miranda： You’re a very handsome man.

Craig： A little bit more.

Miranda： I think that we should take our kids on a play date together.

Craig： Yeah， that 2）sings. What age are your kids？

Miranda： My…I have a son.

Craig： Right.

Miranda： And he’s around the same age as your son.

Craig： Let’s get them together and get them in a band.

Miranda： Yeah. My son can play the piano.

Craig： My son can play the piano better than your son.

Miranda： Oh， I’m not sure about that.

Craig： Maybe we should set them in a sort of pianoplaying race.

Miranda： OK， well， he can’t really play the piano， but he walked into this…we did a play-date thing， and he walked into the room. The first thing he 3）made a beeline for was the piano， and he got up there and just…it was a little mini piano， a kid’s one.

Craig： Right.

Miranda： And he got up there and just started playing， and I was， like， wow！

Craig： That’s what…that’s what Richie did！ That’s the same story！

Miranda： It， it does run in my family. It does run in my family， though.

Craig： Yeah. That’s fantastic！

Miranda： It’s in our blood.

Craig： Do you play the piano？

Miranda： I do， a little.

Craig： A， a little piano or you play the piano a little？

Miranda： A little piano.

Craig： Right. You play a tiny…that’s adorable！

Miranda： Yeah， my， my grandma is amazing.

Craig： Mine too， but she doesn’t play the piano. But you come on here saying your kids better than my kid， your grandma’s better than my grandma. Who the hell do you think you are， lady？！

Miranda： I come from down under.

Craig： Australia？！

Miranda： 4）Aussie， Aussie， Aussie！（With the crowd） Oy， oy， oy！ Yeah！

Craig： You know that Kerr is a Scottish name， though.

Miranda： It is.

Craig： It is？！

Miranda： Yes， I， I have…

Craig： Oh， well， there you are， then.

Miranda： I have Scottish and Irish in my 5）ancestry.

Craig： That must…you， you fond of whiskey？

Miranda： Um， no， but I like 6）Guinness.

Craig： Well， Guinness is good.

Miranda： Yeah.

Craig： I mean， if you like that sort of thing. I don’t know…I don’t know if I could say that on TV， but I， I used to enjoy Guinness immensely， when...before I stopped.

Miranda： Yes. And now what is your preferred drink？

Craig： Tea.

Miranda： Tea. What kind of tea？

Craig： Oh， I like， I like an 7）Earl Grey， really， or， uh…

Miranda： I like an Earl Grey， too.

Craig： Do you really？

Miranda： Yeah. I love an Earl Grey.

Craig： Oh， I think we’ll get along nice actually！ Yeah！

Miranda： Yeah！ Earl Grey！

Craig： Earl Grey or bit of 8）Darjeeling， maybe. You like a bit of Darjeeling？

Miranda： No， no.

Craig： What the hell！

Miranda： I like…

Craig： You think your grandma’s better than my grandma！

Miranda： Let’s just have a play date， and then we can drink some tea， and…

Craig： Wait， you…I’m one of your girlfriends now， aren’t I？ When did I become this nonthreatening？ That’s awful， but great at the same time！ No， I think it’s lovely. Well， so you’re…

Miranda： It is lovely.

Craig： Yeah. Your， your baby’s American then.

Miranda： Yeah. He was born here in LA.

Craig： In the fashion shows， are you walking up and down with your underwear on？

Miranda： I am， and I have some wings on as well.

Craig： Yeah， I， I think I’ve seen one of those things， yeah.

Miranda： White wings. Yeah.

Craig： Yeah， that’s， eh， that’s quite a look， uh， that you…

Miranda： Yeah， it’s part of， you know， it’s something different. You don’t see...you don’t see it every day.

Craig： Do you ever get embarrassed？ Do you get embarrassed walkin’ around like that， kind of， you know…

Miranda： To be honest， I don’t get embarrassed， but what I do find is that， if I have friends or my husband in the audience watching…

Craig： Yeah.

Miranda： …I get “Oh， my goodness， it’s a little embarrassing，” ’cause it’s almost like you put…

Craig： Your husband， presumably， has seen you in your underwear before.

Miranda： He has， but it’s different because I’m parading it in front of everyone else， not just him， you know. Let’s bring it back to my grandma， OK？

Craig： Here we go. You and your grandma.

Miranda： What she said to me about…she said about men， “Men are very visual， so don’t forget that.” She said， “Every day， just put a little makeup on， put on some nice underwear， and you’ll keep your husband.” That’s what she told me！

Craig： You know， I， I think there…there’s truth in that.

Miranda： Yeah.

Craig： And when I say that， I mean， for me.

Miranda： Yeah.

Craig： I can’t， I can’t speak for all men， but I think men are visual. Aren’t women visual too， though？

Miranda： No， women need to be mentally stimulated.

Craig： I see. Miranda Kerr， everybody！