Dear Sir， I’m Sorry： Letters of Apology to Former Teachers 親愛的老師，對不起

師生一場，是美妙的緣分，然而年少時的我們往往不懂珍惜。回想與老師相處的點滴，有沒有一件事讓你心生愧疚？如果能夠重回過去，有沒有一件事讓你想對當時的自己說“你做錯了”？時光無法倒流，我們唯有真誠地對曾經的老師說一句：“對不起。”

Dear Miss Denton，

I’d like to apologise， for myself and my whole class， for being generally horrid1） and playing such a nasty trick on you， 56 years ago in maths lessons. Because you were one of our least horrid teachers. You were young， rather shy， pleasant， blushed easily， and so we attacked. Because it was easy. We couldn’t do much about the really horrid old witch teachers who made our lives hell， like Miss Titmuss， the RE teacher， who shook us whenever possible， or Miss Ashley， with her grey sausage curls and outrageous punishments—Latin detention2） for me， for jumping down three steps into the playground. No， Miss Denton， you were sweet and kind. So you got it in the neck3）.

One day， you had just got to the end of a gigantic sum， which had taken us half the lesson to do， and which you’d written up on the board. You wrote in the answer， and then were suddenly called away to the telephone. One of us， I’m not telling who， because we all egged her on4）， rubbed out the answer and changed it.

Back you came. “Please Miss，” we said. “You’ve got the answer wrong.” And you had to go through the whole gigantic sum again， until you got the right answer， and then apologised meekly5） for your silly mistake. We all looked very serious. You probably never knew that it was all a nasty joke. How we laughed when we got out of class. But why？ You were never nasty to any of us. So， sorry Miss Denton. We liked you really.

Michele

親愛的登頓小姐：

我謹代表自己和全班同學向您道歉，因為在56年前的數學課上我們常常對您很不友好，還用那樣頑劣的惡作劇捉弄您。因為您是我們最不討厭的老師之一。當時您年紀輕輕，非常害羞，和藹可親，動不動就臉紅，所以成了我們欺負的對象。因為欺負您很容易。我們不怎么能欺負得了那些真正讓人討厭的老巫婆似的老師，她們讓我們的生活如同地獄一般。比如那個宗教教育老師蒂特馬斯小姐，一有機會就嚇唬我們；還有阿什莉小姐，頂著她那香腸一樣的灰白卷發，罰起人來非常兇狠—對我的懲罰是讓我在課后留校學拉丁語，就因為我往操場跑的時候跳下了三個臺階。您不一樣，登頓小姐，您甜美又可親，于是就被我們欺負了。

一天，您花了半節課的時間剛剛算出一道復雜的算術題，運算過程就寫在黑板上，您寫上答案，然后突然被叫去接電話了。我們中的某個人—我不會說她是誰的—在我們的慫恿之下擦掉并修改了答案。

您回來之后，我們說：“對不起，小姐，您算錯答案了。”您不得不把這道復雜的算術題從頭到尾又算了一遍，直到得出正確答案，之后還溫順地為您愚蠢的錯誤道歉。我們當時看起來都很嚴肅，您可能怎么也不會想到這都是惡劣的玩笑。我們走出教室的時候笑得樂不可支。但為什么要這樣呢？您從沒有對我們任何一個人不好。所以，登頓小姐，對不起。我們真的喜歡您。

米歇爾

Michele Hanson

Haberdashers’ Aske’s School， Acton

米歇爾·漢森

哈博戴斯阿斯克學校，阿克頓

Dear Miss Paxman，

You were my favourite teacher and you taught my favourite subject： biology. I loved dissection6）. I loved the smell of chloroform7） in the morning … No， really. I used to regularly pass out in your lessons from sniffing it in the lab. You used to have to slap me awake. But I loved that you pointed out on your own body where your ovaries were. Underneath your white coat！

I was terrified when you shouted at me for killing a worm even though we were dissecting worms. I must respect the worm for it would teach me in the end， you screamed. I loved the fact that you knew I was “bad” but told my mum I could do more than work in a shop.

Unlike most of the teachers I knew， you would not refuse to answer my questions. Instead you hinted at what could be known from working hard. Somehow， you made me understand that looking inside things makes people able to look outside them too. You embodied the confidence that comes from knowing an awful lot but you made us see that trying to know anything would take up the rest of our lives.

While we were taking apart dead frogs or drawing flowers we wanted to see the daft8） smile that sometimes broke through your “scientific” composure9）. I remember that： your pleasure at us seeing things for the first time. You encouraged my mind to whirr10） while most of my experience of school was “them” trying to shut it down.

I have no idea how you would fit into the lockdown that “education” has since become. You were your own woman. That was， to me， an actual amazing fact. I am sorry that I never became a biologist， but when I left school at 16 you simply said： “You are making a mistake， but go. And keep your eyes open. It’s all there to see.” So that’s life. Biology， even？ And sorry， miss， about the worm murder. I was just overexcited.

Yours always， Suzanne

親愛的帕克斯曼小姐：

您是我最喜歡的老師，教的是我最喜歡的科目—生物。我很喜歡解剖，也很喜歡早晨聞到的三氯甲烷的味道……其實不喜歡。我那時常常因為聞到實驗室里三氯甲烷的味道而在您的課上昏倒。您總是不得不把我拍醒。但我喜歡您在自己的身體上指出卵巢的位置—在您的白大褂下面！

就算我們在解剖蠕蟲，但當我弄死了一只時，您還是大聲地訓斥我，我當時嚇壞了。您大喊著說，我必須尊重那只蠕蟲，因為它最終會教我知識。我喜歡您明明知道我很“壞”，卻對我媽媽說我做店員太屈才了。

您和我認識的大多數老師不一樣，您不會拒絕回答我的問題。相反，您還暗示我通過努力學習可以懂得些什么。您通過某種方式讓我明白，洞悉事物的內在使人也能了解其外在。您表現出的自信源于您淵博的知識，但您也讓我們明白，對任何知識的求索都將用盡我們一生的時間。

在解剖死青蛙或描繪花朵時，我們想看到您的憨笑，這種笑容有時會沖破您“科學”的鎮定而顯露出來。我還記得您在我們第一次看到新事物時露出的喜悅之情。您鼓勵我放飛思想，而我在學校里遇到的大多數情況都是“他們”試圖限制我的思想。

自那時以來，“教育”已經成為一種桎梏，不知您如何能適應這樣的狀況。您堅持自我，這在我看來真是了不起的事。很抱歉我沒能成為一名生物學家，但是當我16歲離開學校時，您只是說：“你這么做是錯誤的，但是去闖蕩吧。睜大眼睛，世界等著你去發現。”這就是生活吧。甚至連生物學也是如此吧？小姐，謀殺蠕蟲的事情真是抱歉，我當時只是興奮過頭了。

您永遠的蘇珊娜

Suzanne Moore Northgate School for Girls， Ipswich

蘇珊娜·穆爾

諾斯蓋特女子學校，伊普斯威奇

Dear Preston Thomas，

You were head of the lower school， deputy head， head， and my A-level tutor for economics， and there are a few things I might usefully get off my chest. The boy who surreptitiously11） gave a Refreshers12）-shaped laxative13） to the greedy classmate who was stealing everyone’s sweets， occasioning14） a hygiene crisis in Humanities？ That was me. The waste of space15） whose spat with another pupil spilled from the classroom on to the gravel pitch16） and ended up with us chasing each other in circles around the playground， pursued by the supply teacher17） who never came again？ Yep， guilty. I was one of the shadowy figures who were able to let themselves back into the school in the early evening by dint of18） a purloined19） skeleton key20）.

It all seems quite silly now but I am sure that had you been able to pull together the various strands and establish a pattern， you would have dealt with it in that calm， authoritative， sensible and humorous way that you dealt with everything. It was the funniest thing. We weren’t scared of you； but at the same time， we thought we shouldn’t mess with you. You said that I should opt for A-level economics， ignoring my protests about deficiencies in maths. You were right.

And then there’s the occasion I carry with me. It occurred in the sixth form21） when I commandeered22） an empty classroom as a changing room and was locked in by schoolmates who， for good measure23）， had stolen my shorts and trousers. That took some explaining when the melee24） caught your attention， but you didn’t ask for an explanation. “You don’t stop making mistakes as you get older，” you said with a wry smile. “You just hope to make fewer.”

Hugh

親愛的普雷斯頓·托馬斯：

您歷任初中部的主任、副主任，后又出任主任，還曾是我A-level課程（編注：英國的大學入學考試課程）的經濟學輔導老師。有幾件憋在心里的事情我要一吐為快，這或許于我有益。還記得有個男孩偷偷將糖果狀的瀉藥給了一個偷大家糖果的貪吃的同學，從而在人文學科部引起了一場衛生危機嗎？那個男孩就是我。有個廢物和別的同學發生口角，從教室一直打到碎石瀝青路上，最后兩個人圍著操場互相追逐，又被代課老師追趕，而那個代課老師再也不回來了，還記得嗎？是的，我很內疚。在傍晚時分，曾有兩個朦朧的身影用一把偷來的萬能鑰匙返回學校，我就是其中之一。

如今，這些事看起來都很傻，但我敢肯定，如果您當時能將這千絲萬縷的事匯總起來，總結出其中的規律，您早就用您處理所有事情慣用的那種平靜、權威、理智而又幽默的方式來處理了。真是太有意思了。我們都不怕您，但同時，我們又覺得不應該跟您搗亂。您說我應該選擇A-level經濟學的課程，我聲言自己數學很差，您卻對此不加理會。您是對的。

還有一件事我一直記在心里，這件事發生在我六年級的時候。那時，我強占了一間空教室當更衣室，卻被幾個同學鎖在了里面。不僅如此，他們還偷走了我的短褲和褲子。后來這場混亂引起了您的注意，這事兒應該有個解釋，但您沒有要求任何人作解釋。“人并不會隨著年齡的增長而不再犯錯，”您有些啼笑皆非地說，“只希望能少犯些錯。”

休

Dear Miss Mitchell，

I’m glad to have this opportunity to apologise for having been such an absolute little cow during the years you taught me German， French and Russian. Although you are now at rest in the great staffroom in the sky， I still feel a pang of shame when I recall how badly I behaved during your lessons.

I remember your patient sigh when you caught me inking in little black spots on my legs below the holes in my black tights， or painting on pearlised25） orange nail-polish under the desk. You pretended not to notice my CND26） badge， banned on school premises， or the whiffs of cigarette smoke that lingered in the girls’ toilets. I hope you never read any of the cruel notes my friends and I passed around in class， commenting on your appearance， and speculating on your love life. I felt ashamed when I learned， afterwards， that you’d lost your fiancé during the second world war， and teaching us became your life instead. I would like to thank you for your perseverance.

As you must have guessed， at heart I was always a little swot27）， and at home in private I practised those strange gargling28） sounds you taught us， and memorised the Lorelei29） song， and long passages of Phèdre30） and Evgeny Onegin31）.

And thanks to you， even after all these years， I can still pull off a cool subjunctive， which impresses the Frenchies no end32）.

Do svidanya， auf wiedersehen， adieu33），

Marina

親愛的米切爾小姐：

我很高興有這次機會向您道歉，在您教我德語、法語和俄語的那幾年里，我完全就是個小煩人精。盡管您現在已經在天堂的大辦公室里安息了，但回想起自己在您課堂上的惡劣表現，我仍然感到一陣羞愧。

我還記得，當您發現我正透過黑色緊身褲襪的破洞用墨水在腿上畫小黑點，或者在課桌下涂有珍珠光澤的橙色指甲油時，您包容地嘆了口氣。您假裝沒有注意到我的英國核裁軍運動組織徽章—那是學校里明令禁止的，也假裝沒注意到女廁所里殘留的陣陣香煙味。希望您從沒看到過我和朋友們在班里傳閱的言辭刻薄的紙條，上面寫著對您外貌的評價以及對您感情生活的揣測。后來，當我得知您在二戰中失去了未婚夫，而教我們成為您生活的全部時，我感到羞愧難當。我要感謝您的堅持不懈。

您肯定已經猜到了，我本質上一直是個刻苦用功的小孩。在家里，我私下練習您教給我們的那些奇怪的含漱似的發音，記住了洛勒賴唱的歌，還背熟了《費德爾》和《葉甫蓋尼·奧涅金》里的大段內容。

多虧了您，即使這么多年過去了，我仍然能說出很酷的虛擬句式，讓法國人大為贊嘆。

再見，再見，再見。

瑪麗娜

1.horrid [?h?r?d] adj.〈口〉使人極不愉快的；極不友好的

2.detention [d??ten?（?）n] n. （處罰學生的）課后留校

3.get it in the neck：受到當頭一棒；受到嚴厲譴責（或懲罰）

4.egg on：鼓勵；慫恿

5.meekly [?mi?kli] adv. 溫順地；逆來順受地

6.dissection [d??sek?（?）n] n. 解剖

7.chloroform [?kl?r??f??（r）m] n. [化]氯仿，三氯甲烷

8.daft [dɑ?ft] adj. 傻的，愚蠢的

9.composure [k?m?p????（r）] n. 鎮靜，沉著

10.whirr [w??（r）] vi. 呼呼（或嗡嗡）地響

11.surreptitiously [?s?r?p?t???sli] adv. 鬼鬼祟祟地，偷偷摸摸地

12.Refreshers：英國Tangerine糖果公司旗下生產的一種糖果

13.laxative [?l?ks?t?v] n. 輕瀉劑，通便劑

14.occasion [??ke??（?）n] vt. 引起；惹起

15.waste of space：〈口〉無用之人

16.pitch [p?t?] n. 瀝青

17.supply teacher：代課教師

18.by dint of：借……的力量，憑借

19.purloin [p??（r）?l??n] vt. 偷

20.skeleton key：萬能鑰匙

21.form [f??（r）m] n. （英國中等學校、美國一些私立學校的）年級

22.commandeer [?k?m?n?d??（r）] vt.〈口〉強占，強取

23.for good measure：作為外加（或意外）的東西，另外

24.melee [?mele?] n. 混戰；混亂

25.pearlised [?p??（r）la?zd] adj. 有珍珠般光澤的

26.CND：英國核裁軍運動組織（Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament）

27.swot [sw?t] n.〈口〉刻苦用功的人

28.gargle [?ɡɑ?（r）ɡ（?）l] vi. 發出含漱似的聲音

29.Lorelei：洛勒賴，德國文學及傳說中的女妖，出沒于萊茵河畔，以其美貌和歌聲迷惑航船船夫，使船觸礁沉沒。

30.Phèdre：《費德爾》，法國劇作家讓·拉辛（Jean Racine， 1639～1699）創作的戲劇作品

31.Evgeny Onegin：《葉甫蓋尼·奧涅金》，俄國作家普希金（1799～1837）創作的長篇詩體小說，是俄國現實主義文學的基石。

32.no end：非常

33.Do svidanya， auf wiedersehen， adieu：分別是俄語、德語和法語的“再見”。