A Letter to My Daughter 致我的女兒

By+Joanne+Harris

從出生起，你就肆無忌憚地享受她對你的愛。在她的呵護下，你撒嬌，任性，叛逆，成長，然后頭也不回地飛向外面廣闊的世界。你對她的事了解得越來越少，距離她的心也越來越遠……可對她而言，你的出生帶來的是難以形容的喜悅，你成長中的每一件事她都記得無比清晰。她為你付出了無盡的愛，不求回報，無怨無悔，還認為是你讓她的生命更有意義。本文的作者就是這樣一位母親，她對自己的女兒永遠懷著一份珍視和感恩的心情。假如你能通過本文了解一點母親的心情，請一定要愛她、敬她，對她不離不棄。

Dear Anouchka，

You were born just as the sun rose on a beautiful June morning. I remember looking at you and thinking， How strange. Everything is different.

Sometimes， a single event turns out to change things so profoundly that it's hard to remember what things were like beforehand2）. Like the sun coming out unexpectedly， you made everything look different. Everything was new again， because I saw it through your eyes. Everything had to be named again， experienced as if for the first time. And you were alert3） from the very first. You'd only been born for a few hours， and I'd held you next to a vase of sweet peas so that you could catch their scent. I've always been very aware of scents， and I wondered if it was the same for you. It was—you opened your mouth and—Oof！ Suddenly you had a mouthful of sweet peas， and I knew right then that you were going to be someone who took life and shook it and tasted it and enjoyed it to the full4）.

And you were： as you grew up， you just got more and more fun. Postcards， snapshots out of time： your first Christmas， you in a red snowsuit， indignant5） over your first fall of snow—so pretty， but why did it have to be so cold？

At 2 years old， with a birthday cake made almost entirely of fruit， which was what you liked most in the world， as if you might have been some kind of hybrid6） lemur7）-child， existing on fruit and sunlight.

At 3， by the seaside and marching intrepidly8） into the Atlantic until you were completely submerged， with only the tip of your ponytail9） bobbing10） above the water.

At 4， with your invisible friends， born from who-knows-where and moving in with us for years—a little boy called Twenghi-Bombi and a rabbit called Pantoufle.

At 5， beginning school and causing chaos in your class by distributing invisible rabbits to all （Pantoufle had found a friend， and bred）.

At 6， as a fairy in a sparkly white dress and wings， which you insisted on teaming with a plastic breastplate11） and a sword—because， as you said， princesses kick ass12）.

Learning to ride a pony and walking with me to the little riding-school at the far edge of the village， talking non-stop， telling stories.

Eight years old， with dungarees13） and long plaits14）， playing with your cats in the garden.endprint

At 9， as a special birthday treat， meeting Harry Potter on the set of the movie， a visit that left you uncharacteristically15） speechless for hours， and scored me enough Cool Parent points to make up for a dozen missed birthdays.

親愛的阿努什卡：

在6月一個美麗的清晨，你伴隨著初升的朝陽呱呱落地。記得當時我看著你，心想：多么奇怪啊！一切都不一樣了。

有時，單單一件事的發生最終都會給我們的生活帶來翻天覆地的變化，以至于我們很難記起之前的生活是什么樣子。而你就像那不期而至的太陽，讓一切看起來都變得不同以往。每樣事物都重新煥發出新意，因為這次我是通過你的眼睛來看的。每樣事物都得被重新認識、重新經歷，就好像是初次接觸一樣。而你從一開始就表現得很機敏。你出生剛幾個小時，我就抱著你湊近一瓶甜豌豆，好讓你聞聞甜豌豆的香味。我一直對氣味非常敏感，因此我想知道你是否也和我一樣。還真是如此——你張開嘴，然后——哎喲！你突然就含了一嘴的甜豌豆。就在那一刻，我知道你將會是一個接受生活、改變生活、品味生活、盡情享受生活的人。

而你也的確是這樣：隨著你一天天地長大，你收獲了越來越多的樂趣。有一張張表明這些時刻的明信片和照片為證：這是你的第一個圣誕節，你穿著紅色的防雪服，正為你人生中的初雪而憤憤不平——雪景那么美，可為什么非得這么冷呢？

這是你兩歲時與一個幾乎全用水果做的生日蛋糕的合影，水果是這個世界上你最喜歡的東西，仿佛你也許是某種雜交的狐猴寶寶，靠水果和陽光生存。

三歲的時候，在海邊，你無畏地走進大西洋的懷抱，直至海水完全沒過你的頭頂，只剩下馬尾辮的發梢在水面上浮動。

這張是你四歲那年和你那些隱形朋友們的合影。沒人知道你的這些朋友是在哪兒出生的，但他們搬來與我們一起生活已有好幾年。他們中有一個是名叫特溫伊-博比的小男孩，另一個則是一只名為潘特富的兔子。

五歲的你開始上學了，把班里攪得雞犬不寧，因為你給班里每個小朋友都發了一只隱形兔子（潘特富找到了伴侶，生了很多小兔子）。

六歲時，你打扮成小仙女，穿著一身閃閃發亮的白裙，戴著一雙翅膀，在你的堅持下，還搭配了一件塑料胸鎧和一把劍——因為，用你的話說，公主都很厲害。

你去學騎馬，和我一起走路前往村子最遠一頭的那所小型馬術學校，一路上你都在滔滔不絕地講故事。

八歲時，你穿著藍色的工裝背帶褲，留著長長的辮子，在花園里與你的貓咪們玩耍。

你九歲了，作為生日的特別待遇，我帶你去電影拍攝現場見了哈利·波特，這次見面讓你一反常態地好幾個小時都說不出話，也給我這個“酷媽”加了很多分，足以彌補我錯過的你的許多個生日。

1. Joanne Harris： 喬安妮·哈里斯（1964～），英國作家，代表作為暢銷小說《濃情巧克力》（Chocolat），根據該小說改編的同名電影于2000年上映并大獲成功，贏得八項英國電影與電視藝術獎提名和五項奧斯卡獎提名。

2. beforehand [b??f??h?nd] adv. 預先，事先

3. alert [??l??t] adj. 思維敏捷的，感覺敏銳的

4. to the full： 盡量；最充分地

5. indignant [?n?d?ɡn?nt] adj. 憤怒的，憤憤不平的

6. hybrid [?ha?br?d] adj. 雜交成的；雜種的

7. lemur [?li?m?（r）] n. 【動】狐猴

8. intrepidly [?n?trep?dli] adv. 無畏地，勇敢地

9. ponytail [?p??nite?l] n. 馬尾辮

10. bob [b?b] vi. （尤指在水中）上下快速擺動

11. breastplate [?brestple?t] n. 胸鎧

12. kick ass： <俚> （尤指以強勢的方式）令人驚嘆

13. dungarees [d??ɡ??ri?z] n. 粗藍布工裝背帶褲

14. plait [pl?t] n. <英>辮子

15. uncharacteristically

[??n?k?r?kt??r?st?kli] adv. 不典型地；一反常態地

At 10， in the wilds of Africa， sleeping outside under the stars， hearing lions and elephants underneath the boardwalk16）.

At 11， in your school uniform， looking so different to everyone else， even though you were all dressed the same.

Dressed in white， as a snow-drift in a production of The Lion， The Witch and the Wardrobe—I missed the play， but managed to get back from the airport in time for the curtain call17）. That was the start of your love affair with everything theatrical—and though you always preferred to be backstage， rather than under the lights， to me you were always the star of the show.endprint

At 13， sharing an iPod on the train from Leeds， rocking out18） to "Bohemian Rhapsody"， to the disapproval of the other passengers.

Building a sandcastle together， the three of us， on a beach in France， with lots of singing and dancing and the sea coming up like an army of waves.

Not fitting in19） at school because you didn't want to iron20） your hair. I thought it looked gorgeous. I still do.

In Hawaii， learning to surf， riding the waves like a mirage21）.

In the Arctic， one bright night， lying on our backs in the snow， watching out for22） shooting stars23）.

Watching you discover your passion for musical theatre； seeing Les Misérables for the first time， you clapping so hard at the end of the show that your watch flew off into the crowd ...

And now， turning 19， watching you heading off to London， going to university， moving away for the first time， leaving images of yourself everywhere I look for you， like reflections in a hall of mirrors ...

You've taught me so much， little girl. All those things I learnt to do， simply because you were there.

Because of you I learnt to be brave， fighting your corner24） against bullies at school； retrieving spiders from out of the bath； learning parasailing25）， surfing， riding， kayaking—all those things I'd never done， and would never have tried without you.

Because of you I learnt to understand my mother； her perpetual26） worrying， her pathological27） need for control.

Because of you I tried to tidy my room on a regular basis.

Because of you I learnt to love musical theatre， and to follow every cast change in Phantom of the Opera.

We've had such good times， you and I. We stayed friends throughout your adolescence， when everyone else's children seemed to hate being with their parents. We shared so many things； we seemed to be able to read each other's minds.

I used to assume， when I was your age， that one day I'd meet my soulmate. But I never guessed that would be you， or that one day， years from then， I would have to let you go.

You see， there are things they never tell you when you become a parent. One is that， from the day you give birth， some part of you will be afraid—always and forever. The other is that， someday， the child you love will love someone else even more than they love you. It's the price we pay， as parent， that knowledge that the biggest portion of a child's heart is only on loan， and one day must be given back. I know you don't understand this now. But you will， one day.endprint

I fully expect to still be around， and I hope we'll still be as good friends as we are now， and have always been. I also hope that by that time， you'll have a child of your own， and so you'll know exactly what I mean when I say： I may have given you life， but you gave it right back to me， every minute of every day.

Thank you.

十歲時，你躺在非洲荒野的星空下，聽著木板人行道下傳來的獅子和大象的聲響入睡。

11歲的你穿著校服，看起來和班里其他同學如此不同，即便你們的穿著完全一樣。

你穿著一身白衣，在戲劇《獅子、女巫和魔衣櫥》中扮演一個雪堆。我錯過了這場演出，不過設法在演員謝幕時及時從機場趕了回來。你就是從那時開始喜歡上和戲劇有關的一切——雖然你向來更喜歡做幕后工作，而不喜歡站在鎂光燈下，但對我來說，你永遠是劇中的主角。

13歲時，在從利茲出發的火車上，你將iPod里的歌曲外放出來，隨著《波西米亞狂想曲》搖頭晃腦，惹得其他乘客不滿。

我們一家三口在法國的一個海灘上一邊堆沙堡，一邊又唱又跳。海水猶如千軍萬馬涌上海灘。

你在學校里不太合群，因為你不想燙頭發。我那時覺得你的發型棒極了。現在我依然這么認為。

你在夏威夷學沖浪，乘著一波波海浪前行，猶如幻景一般。

在北極一個明亮的夜晚，我們仰面躺在雪地里，等著看流星雨。

我看著你發現了自己對音樂劇的激情。那是你第一次看《悲慘世界》，演出結束時你使勁地鼓掌，手表都震飛了，掉進了人群里……

而現在，你就要19歲了，我看著你出發去倫敦，看著你去上大學，看著你第一次離家遠行，將你的幻影留在我期待看到你的每一個角落，就好像是在一個滿是鏡子的大廳里，到處都是你的身影……

你教會了我太多，小丫頭。所有那些我學會的事，都只是因為有你。

因為你，我學會了勇敢：為了你與學校里的壞家伙們吵架；把蜘蛛扔出浴缸；去學帆傘運動、沖浪、騎馬、劃皮艇——所有這些都是我以前從未做過的，若非有你，我也永遠不會去嘗試的。

因為你，我學會了理解我的母親，理解她永無休止的擔心和難以抑制的控制欲。

因為你，我努力做到定期打掃我的房間。

因為你，我學著喜歡音樂劇，《歌劇魅影》里的每一次換角我都如數家珍。

我和你，我們曾經度過這么多如此美好的時光。在你青春期那段日子里，我們一直保持著朋友關系，而其他人的孩子似乎都很討厭和他們的父母待在一起。我們分享了那么多東西，我們似乎能夠讀懂彼此的心思。

我像你這般大的時候，常常幻想有一天我會遇到我的靈魂伴侶。但我從未想到那個人會是你，也未想到有那么一天，在自那以后的若干年后，我會不得不放手讓你離開。

你知道，有些事是在你成為母親時他們永遠不會告訴你的。其中一件就是，從你分娩的那一天起，你身體的一部分將開始擔驚受怕——一直如此且永無休止。另一件事是，有一天，你愛的孩子會愛上其他人，甚至比愛你更多。這就是我們為人父母要付出的代價：我們要知道，孩子心中最多的那一部分愛只是借給我們的，總有一天必須要收回去。我知道你現在還理解不了這一點。但你總有一天會明白。

我全心全意地希望到那時候我依然還在你身邊，希望我們仍是好朋友，就像我們現在這樣，像我們一直以來這樣。我也希望到那個時候，你會有一個自己的孩子，這樣當我說下面這句話時，你就能完全理解我的意思了：或許我給了你生命，但你卻將生命的意義回報于我，每一天的每一分鐘。

謝謝你！

16. boardwalk [?b??dw??k] n. （木板）人行道

17. curtain call： 謝幕

18. rock out： 盡情地享受搖滾樂

19. fit in： 相處融洽，適應環境

20. iron [?a??n] vt. 熨，燙

21. mirage [?m?rɑ??] n. 海市蜃樓；幻景

22. watch out for： （密切）留意，關注

23. shooting star： 流星

24. fight one's corner： 據理力爭

25. parasailing [?p?r?se?l??] n. 【體】（由汽船、汽車等牽引在空中滑翔的）帆傘運動

26. perpetual [p??pet?u?l] adj. 永久的

27. pathological [?p?θ??l?d??kl] adj. 不理智的；無法控制的endprint