A Moment That Changed Your Life患癌女孩的自白:改變生活的瞬間

I was 14 years old and thought I knew it all. I had good grades at school， but at home I fought a lot with my mom and stepdad. My parents divorced when I was young， and I developed anger toward my father for leaving my mom. I had become distant from my extended family as well. I couldn't stand my hair; I complained about it every day. I am an only child， but I have a stepbrother whom I hated. I wanted nothing more than to hang out with my friends. I always wanted to be left alone， listening to music， surfing the web， you name it. I was always bitter and crabby1). I took my life for granted2).

May 2010， I'm diagnosed with cancer. Over two months， I was being tested and had two surgeries to determine if I was still in an early stage and could be spared the infamous chemotherapy3) and radiation therapy. Luckily， the cancer hadn't spread into my bloodstream4) and cleaning out the tumors5) would be easy. Although it didn't last as long as you would expect， those two months were hell. I cried myself to sleep every night， fearing the changes that accompanied chemo6). I would have to be home-schooled. Chemo would cause me to be nauseous7)， weak， tired. I'd have to be on a strict diet—unhealthy food could get me sick. I would lose all my hair. I would have tubes connected to my heart coming out of my chest， and so much more. Thankfully， after the second surgery I was cancer free. Of course， I have to remain in remission8) and observation for five years to be sure the cancer doesn't come back， but there's only a small chance it will.

At first， I didn't understand why I had gotten cancer. I would think， \"Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Does God hate me? How could he let anyone suffer what I'm suffering? Especially a kid!\"

Once I started accepting that this was real and I couldn't do anything but fight it， I figured I would enjoy my life as long as I could before getting really sick. I started hanging out with my family more. I spent the weekends with my aunts and cousins， or with my dad and his side of the family. It was hard to do too much， though， because I spent more time at the hospital than I did at my house.

Once I was \"cancer free\"， I was still stuck with the mentality9) that it could come back at any moment， and I would regret not having enjoyed my life as much as I could have. I decided that from then on， I would live life to its fullest. I wouldn't take anything for granted. I would try new things. I would love my brother and my parents， forgive my father， take lots of pictures， smile， laugh， and act goofy10). I'd be outgoing.

Two years later， I'm still cancer free. Three more to go until I'm considered safe. I have to say， God answered my questions. Why did I have cancer? Why me? Because my life was going to waste. I was a selfish， inconsiderate， stubborn， unforgiving， careless， bratty11)， yet shy girl. But when the cancer hit， it completely changed me. When I saw my mom cry， it hurt me. When I heard my dad's voice crack12)， his one and only child， his daughter， diagnosed with cancer， I regretted ever being mad at him. When my stepbrother and cousins were speechless， I reassured them. As I cried， my aunt held my hand and cried with me. She even went to appointments with my parents and me.

I'm not the same girl I was before I had cancer. Today， I take too many pictures， smile too much， goof off13) too much. My brother and I have become close and my cousins have their \"big sister\" back. Cancer brought my family back together. Sometimes my hair is hard to manage， but I can't say I hate it. Don't wait for something like cancer to come around and change your life. Take it upon yourself14) to make things right15) and truly worth living for.那時我14歲，以為自己無所不知。在學校，我成績優異，但在家里，我卻經常與媽媽和繼父吵架。我的父母在我小時候就離婚了，我因為父親離開了母親而對他心生怨憤，跟大家庭里的親戚們也日漸疏遠。我無法忍受自己的頭發，每天為此抱怨不休。我是獨生女，但有一個繼父帶來的兄弟，我討厭他。我只想跟我的朋友們出去玩。我還總想自己一個人待著，聽聽音樂，上上網，做些你能想到的事情。我總是滿心憤懣，愛發脾氣。我以為我的生活就該如此。

2010年5月，我被診斷出了癌癥。在兩個多月的時間里，我一直在做檢查，還做了兩個手術以確診我的病情是否還處于早期，是否可以免做臭名昭著的化療和放療。幸運的是，癌癥還沒有擴散進我的血液，將腫瘤清除干凈會容易些。盡管這個過程沒有你預想中的那么久，但那兩個月卻如同煉獄。每天晚上我都哭著入睡，害怕化療引起的各種變化：我將不得不在家里上學，化療會讓我感到惡心、虛弱和疲憊，我將不得不嚴格控制飲食——不健康的食物會讓我生病，我的頭發將全部掉光，我的胸口會被插上連接心臟的管子等等諸如此類的事情。謝天謝地，在第二次手術之后，我的癌癥消失了。當然，我還有五年的康復期和觀察期，以便確保癌癥不會卷土重來——不過它復發的概率很小。

起初，我并不明白為什么我得了癌癥。我會想：“為什么是我？我做了什么才遭到這樣的報應？上帝討厭我嗎？他怎么可以讓一個人承受我這樣的痛苦？特別是讓一個孩子來承受！”

一旦我開始接受現實，明白除了與之戰斗別無選擇后，我知道我會在病入膏肓之前盡可能久地享受生活。我開始更多地與家人出去游玩，與姨媽和表兄妹，或是爸爸及他那一邊的親戚共度周末。盡管如此，我還是很難頻繁和他們相聚，因為我在醫院的時間要多于在家的時間。

在我的癌癥“消失”以后，我仍舊被癌癥會隨時復發的擔憂所困擾，我會后悔沒有盡可能地享受生活。我決定從那時起把生活過得充實完滿。我不會再認為什么事情都是理所應當。我要嘗試新鮮事物。我要愛我的繼兄弟和父母，要原諒我的父親，要拍很多照片，微笑，大笑，裝傻賣萌。我要變得開朗起來。

兩年后，我的癌癥仍然沒有復發。再過三年沒復發我就被視為安全了。我不得不說，上帝回答了我的問題，為什么我會得癌癥？為什么是我？因為那時我的生命就要被浪費。過去的我是一個自私自利、不顧別人、頑固不化、沒有容忍之心、粗心大意、放肆無禮，卻還靦腆害羞的女孩。但是當癌癥襲來的時候，我被徹底改變了?？吹綃寢屧诳奁腋械叫谋淮掏?。聽到爸爸的聲音變得嘶啞——他唯一的孩子、他的女兒被診斷身患癌癥——我后悔自己之前一直遷怒于他?？吹嚼^兄弟和我的表弟表妹們靜默語塞，我出言安慰了他們。當我哭泣的時候，姨媽拉著我的手和我一起流淚。她甚至和我的父母一起陪我去見醫生。

我不再是患癌癥之前的那個女孩了。如今，我拍很多照片，笑得很多，閑適許多。我的繼兄弟和我變得親近了，我的表弟表妹們又找回了他們的“大姐大”。癌癥讓我的親人們再次凝聚。有時我的頭發還是很難打理，但我不能說討厭它。不要等類似癌癥的東西來改變你的生活，要自己去著手改善現狀，讓生活真正值得度過。1.crabby [#712;kr#230;bi] adj. 易怒的；脾氣壞的；好抱怨的

2.take ... for granted: 認為……是理所當然的

3.chemotherapy [#716;ki#720;m#601;#650;#712;θer#601;pi] n. 【醫】化學療法；化學治療

4.bloodstream [#712;bl#652;dstri#720;m] n. 血流；體內循環的血液

5.tumor [#712;tju#720;m#601;(r)] n. 【醫】腫瘤

6.chemo [#712;ki#720;m#601;#650;] n. <口>化療

7.nauseous [#712;n#596;#720;zi#601;s] adj. 想嘔吐的；惡心的

8.remission [r#618;#712;m#618;#643;n] n. (痛苦、勞役、力度等的)緩和；減輕

9.mentality [men#712;t#230;l#601;ti] n. [貶] (特殊的)心性，心態

I was 14 years old and thought I knew it all. I had good grades at school， but at home I fought a lot with my mom and stepdad. My parents divorced when I was young， and I developed anger toward my father for leaving my mom. I had become distant from my extended family as well. I couldn't stand my hair; I complained about it every day. I am an only child， but I have a stepbrother whom I hated. I wanted nothing more than to hang out with my friends. I always wanted to be left alone， listening to music， surfing the web， you name it. I was always bitter and crabby1). I took my life for granted2).May 2010， I'm diagnosed with cancer. Over two months， I was being tested and had two surgeries to determine if I was still in an early stage and could be spared the infamous chemotherapy3) and radiation therapy. Luckily， the cancer hadn't spread into my bloodstream4) and cleaning out the tumors5) would be easy. Although it didn't last as long as you would expect， those two months were hell. I cried myself to sleep every night， fearing the changes that accompanied chemo6). I would have to be home-schooled. Chemo would cause me to be nauseous7)， weak， tired. I'd have to be on a strict diet—unhealthy food could get me sick. I would lose all my hair. I would have tubes connected to my heart coming out of my chest， and so much more. Thankfully， after the second surgery I was cancer free. Of course， I have to remain in remission8) and observation for five years to be sure the cancer doesn't come back， but there's only a small chance it will. At first， I didn't understand why I had gotten cancer. I would think， \"Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Does God hate me? How could he let anyone suffer what I'm suffering? Especially a kid!\" Once I started accepting that this was real and I couldn't do anything but fight it， I figured I would enjoy my life as long as I could before getting really sick. I started hanging out with my family more. I spent the weekends with my aunts and cousins， or with my dad and his side of the family. It was hard to do too much， though， because I spent more time at the hospital than I did at my house.Once I was \"cancer free\"， I was still stuck with the mentality9) that it could come back at any moment， and I would regret not having enjoyed my life as much as I could have. I decided that from then on， I would live life to its fullest. I wouldn't take anything for granted. I would try new things. I would love my brother and my parents， forgive my father， take lots of pictures， smile， laugh， and act goofy10). I'd be outgoing.Two years later， I'm still cancer free. Three more to go until I'm considered safe. I have to say， God answered my questions. Why did I have cancer? Why me? Because my life was going to waste. I was a selfish， inconsiderate， stubborn， unforgiving， careless， bratty11)， yet shy girl. But when the cancer hit， it completely changed me. When I saw my mom cry， it hurt me. When I heard my dad's voice crack12)， his one and only child， his daughter， diagnosed with cancer， I regretted ever being mad at him. When my stepbrother and cousins were speechless， I reassured them. As I cried， my aunt held my hand and cried with me. She even went to appointments with my parents and me. I'm not the same girl I was before I had cancer. Today， I take too many pictures， smile too much， goof off13) too much. My brother and I have become close and my cousins have their \"big sister\" back. Cancer brought my family back together. Sometimes my hair is hard to manage， but I can't say I hate it. Don't wait for something like cancer to come around and change your life. Take it upon yourself14) to make things right15) and truly worth living for.那時我14歲，以為自己無所不知。在學校，我成績優異，但在家里，我卻經常與媽媽和繼父吵架。我的父母在我小時候就離婚了，我因為父親離開了母親而對他心生怨憤，跟大家庭里的親戚們也日漸疏遠。我無法忍受自己的頭發，每天為此抱怨不休。我是獨生女，但有一個繼父帶來的兄弟，我討厭他。我只想跟我的朋友們出去玩。我還總想自己一個人待著，聽聽音樂，上上網，做些你能想到的事情。我總是滿心憤懣，愛發脾氣。我以為我的生活就該如此。2010年5月，我被診斷出了癌癥。在兩個多月的時間里，我一直在做檢查，還做了兩個手術以確診我的病情是否還處于早期，是否可以免做臭名昭著的化療和放療。幸運的是，癌癥還沒有擴散進我的血液，將腫瘤清除干凈會容易些。盡管這個過程沒有你預想中的那么久，但那兩個月卻如同煉獄。每天晚上我都哭著入睡，害怕化療引起的各種變化：我將不得不在家里上學，化療會讓我感到惡心、虛弱和疲憊，我將不得不嚴格控制飲食——不健康的食物會讓我生病，我的頭發將全部掉光，我的胸口會被插上連接心臟的管子等等諸如此類的事情。謝天謝地，在第二次手術之后，我的癌癥消失了。當然，我還有五年的康復期和觀察期，以便確保癌癥不會卷土重來——不過它復發的概率很小。起初，我并不明白為什么我得了癌癥。我會想：“為什么是我？我做了什么才遭到這樣的報應？上帝討厭我嗎？他怎么可以讓一個人承受我這樣的痛苦？特別是讓一個孩子來承受！”一旦我開始接受現實，明白除了與之戰斗別無選擇后，我知道我會在病入膏肓之前盡可能久地享受生活。我開始更多地與家人出去游玩，與姨媽和表兄妹，或是爸爸及他那一邊的親戚共度周末。盡管如此，我還是很難頻繁和他們相聚，因為我在醫院的時間要多于在家的時間。在我的癌癥“消失”以后，我仍舊被癌癥會隨時復發的擔憂所困擾，我會后悔沒有盡可能地享受生活。我決定從那時起把生活過得充實完滿。我不會再認為什么事情都是理所應當。我要嘗試新鮮事物。我要愛我的繼兄弟和父母，要原諒我的父親，要拍很多照片，微笑，大笑，裝傻賣萌。我要變得開朗起來。兩年后，我的癌癥仍然沒有復發。再過三年沒復發我就被視為安全了。我不得不說，上帝回答了我的問題，為什么我會得癌癥？為什么是我？因為那時我的生命就要被浪費。過去的我是一個自私自利、不顧別人、頑固不化、沒有容忍之心、粗心大意、放肆無禮，卻還靦腆害羞的女孩。但是當癌癥襲來的時候，我被徹底改變了?？吹綃寢屧诳奁腋械叫谋淮掏?。聽到爸爸的聲音變得嘶啞——他唯一的孩子、他的女兒被診斷身患癌癥——我后悔自己之前一直遷怒于他。看到繼兄弟和我的表弟表妹們靜默語塞，我出言安慰了他們。當我哭泣的時候，姨媽拉著我的手和我一起流淚。她甚至和我的父母一起陪我去見醫生。我不再是患癌癥之前的那個女孩了。如今，我拍很多照片，笑得很多，閑適許多。我的繼兄弟和我變得親近了，我的表弟表妹們又找回了他們的“大姐大”。癌癥讓我的親人們再次凝聚。有時我的頭發還是很難打理，但我不能說討厭它。不要等類似癌癥的東西來改變你的生活，要自己去著手改善現狀，讓生活真正值得度過。10.goofy [#712;ɡu#720;fi] adj. <美口>傻的；瘋的；怪癖的；可笑的11.bratty [#712;br#230;ti] adj. <口>倔頭倔腦的；無禮的，放肆的12.crack [kr#230;k] vi. (嗓音)變粗；(嗓子)變啞13.goof off: 混日子，偷懶14.take it upon oneself: 決定自己干15.make sth. right: 糾正某事；改善狀況