同齡壓力山大，我自有招應對

文/+From+kellimni.com+&+wikihow.com+譯/阿諾

Peer pressure is when your friends or somebody else is trying to force you to do something that you do not really wish to do. Often they try to convince you through name calling1） or other ways of being mean. I will tell you my experience with peer pressure and how I coped with it. Although it is not a very cool thing to go through as I suffered quite a bit， I feel that at the end of it， I do feel cool because I did not do stuff just as my friends thought I should. I stuck to what I believed in and what I felt was right for me. I feel strong.

I was part of a group of five girls at school and I really loved being with my friends. At the age of around 13， they all began to change. I used to feel like I did not know who these girls were； it was like I did not know them anymore. They wanted to do stuff they saw on TV or wherever， stuff that made them feel grown up. One time we went to the cinema together and in the intermission2） we went out to buy sweets. One of the girls began to giggle and said she had a surprise for all of us. We all went into the bathroom and she brought out a cigarette from her bag. She said she stole it from her mother's pack. Lisa （her name） said that if we smoked it we would be so cool. She had even bought a lighter3）. I felt my heart sink. I really did not want to do this. I hated cigarettes. I thought smoking was not cool， not the other way around. Two of my friends were totally convinced and so Lisa lit the cigarette and put it in her mouth. She took a breath in and then blew out the smoke. She coughed but then looked really proud. She passed it on to the other two and they did the same. Then it was Ana's turn. She said she did not want it and the other three began to call her a nerd4）. They said， "You are such a chicken and sooooo uncool； if you don't take it you will not be cool like us and so you can't be our friend." Ana looked really scared and weak， like she was going to give in， so they continued to tease her. They said "nerd， chicken， baby" etc. Ana then took the cigarette and copied the others.

What should I do？ Give in to them or go with what I believe in？ Do I want to be liked by "friends" who won't accept me as I am？ As a person who does not smoke？

I looked at them and walked out of the toilet saying， "See you inside. I am a non-smoker and I will not smoke just to be accepted by you."

They do this because they do not want to be the only ones doing whatever they do to feel cool.

I did this with my mother about saying no to alcohol and I think it helped me when I needed to tell my friends no to cigarettes.endprint

All kids feel the need to fit in and this is OK， but sometimes you may find yourself doing things not because you want to but because others have told you to. You may fear saying no since it will make you look dumb， or you may think that your "friends" might not like you anymore. True friends will accept you just the way you are！

Please remember that you have every right to say "no"， all you need is the courage to do so. It is hard to find this courage at times but it will help keep you safe and out of trouble. So practice saying "no"—imagine conversations where you wish to say no and practice doing so. Ask someone you trust to help you or use a mirror！

同齡壓力是你的朋友或其他同齡人在迫使你去做你不想做的事情時向你施加的壓力。他們通常會通過辱罵或其他不友好的方式試圖讓你服從。我要講述一件我親身遭遇同齡壓力的經歷，以及我是如何應對的。雖然那不是什么愉快的經歷，因為過程相當痛苦，但事情結束時我感覺很好，因為我沒有屈從于朋友的想法行事。我堅守了自己的信念，堅持了自己認為正確的事。現在，我感到內心很堅強。

在學校里，我跟另外四個女孩兒常在一起玩兒，我很喜歡和她們在一起。但是到了13歲左右，她們開始變了。我常常感到不認識她們，好像我已不再了解她們。她們想要做從電視上或別的什么地方看來的、讓她們自我感覺像個大人的那些事情。有一次我們一起去看電影，幕間休息時，我們出去買糖果。我們當中的一個女孩咯咯地笑著說要給大家一個驚喜。待我們走進洗手間后，她從包里掏出一支香煙，說是從她媽媽的煙盒里偷來的。這個名叫莉薩的女孩說吸煙會讓我們看上去很酷。她甚至連打火機都買好了。我的心不由得一沉。我實在不想這樣做。我討厭香煙。我認為恰恰相反，吸煙并不酷。有兩個朋友被她徹底說服了，于是莉薩點燃香煙，放進了嘴里。她吸了一口，吐出一口煙，被嗆得咳嗽，卻接著露出一臉驕傲的表情。她把煙遞給另外兩個女孩，她們也各吸了一口。接下來輪到安娜了。她說她不想吸煙，那三個女孩便開始說她是傻瓜。她們說：“你真是個膽小鬼，一點兒都不酷，如果你不吸，就不能和我們一樣酷，不配當我們的朋友。”安娜看上去很害怕很懦弱，似乎馬上就要屈服了，于是她們繼續取笑她，叫她“傻瓜、膽小鬼、小屁孩兒”什么的。于是安娜接過煙，照著其他人的樣子做了。

我該怎么辦？是屈從于她們還是堅持自己的想法？“朋友們”不肯接納一個真實的、不吸煙的我，我是否還想要得到她們的喜歡？

我看了她們一眼，說：“我先進去了。我不吸煙，也不會為了讓你們接受我而吸煙，”然后走出了洗手間。

她們之所以這么做，是因為她們在做任何自以為酷的舉動時都想拉上別人做伴。

我曾經跟媽媽演練過如何拒絕飲酒，當我需要對朋友說我拒絕吸煙時，我認為那個練習對我很有幫助。

孩子們都希望自己合群，這很正常。但是有時候，你會發現自己做某件事的原因不是因為自己想做，而是因為別人要求你這么做。你可能會害怕說不，因為你擔心這樣會使你顯得很蠢，或者你可能擔心“朋友們”也許再也不喜歡你了。可真正的朋友會接受真實的你。

請記住，你完全有權說不，這只需要一點勇氣。有時，要鼓起勇氣并不容易，但它會幫助你遠離危險和麻煩。所以，要練習說“不”——想象在和別人交談的過程中打算拒絕對方時的情景，并練習拒絕對方。可以找一個你信任的人來幫忙，也可以自己對著鏡子練習！

如何對同齡壓力說不

When you find yourself in bad peer-pressure situation， it can be very difficult to gracefully bow out （退出）. However， there are some methods which work fairly well.

Enlist other like-minded people to your stance. 贏得有相同想法的人的支持，使他們跟你站在一邊。

You may not be able to dissuade （勸阻） your peers. However， you're likely not the only person who's uncomfortable with such a peer-pressure situation. For instance， if you find yourself at the drinking party， someone else will happily go with you somewhere else fun and alcohol-free.

Change the activity， conversation， or make a joke. 換個活動，轉換話題或開個玩笑。

If the "Truth or Dare" game （“真心話大冒險”游戲） is going from fun to uncomfortable， it may be time to make a joke of it and guide the party to something else. Doing so will often save face while avoiding direct confrontation （爭執） or hurt feelings.

Blame your parent（s）. 歸罪于父母。

One good excuse for younger teens to give for not doing something is simply saying you would suffer harsh consequences for doing something： "Oh， I can't go to a house party unless there's a parent there. Oh， you don't know my mom—she would totally check up with me！" Or： "Oh， my dad grounded （限制外出） me this week." It often doesn't matter that your mother is really strict with you or you are not actually grounded； it sounds like a working reason.

"No， thanks."

“不，謝謝。”

When a peer brings up a bad idea， it sometimes feels like everyone else's silence means it's an accepted idea. Instead， the silent majority may also be thinking the same as you， but too scared to say so. It often takes just one person to stand up to turn a situation.

1. name calling： 罵人；辱罵

2. intermission [??nt??m??n] n. （電影等的）幕間休息；幕間音樂演奏

3. lighter [?la?t?（r）] n. 打火機

4. nerd [n??d] n. 蠢人；可笑的人endprint