名人年少也惡搞

文/By+Julie+Winterbottom+譯/子昊

Does pulling pranks in childhood lead to success later in life？ Judging from the youthful pranks of these four famous people， the answer might be yes.

是不是小時候愛捉弄人長大了就有出息？如果從以下四位名人小時候的惡作劇來看，答案也許是肯定的。

Abraham Lincoln 亞伯拉罕·林肯

When Abraham Lincoln was a young man living at home， he was quite the prankster2）. His stepmother Sarah Bush Lincoln used to tease him about his height， telling him that he'd better keep his head clean or she'd have to scrub3） the ceiling. The story goes that one day when Sarah was out， Abe noticed two boys playing barefoot outside next to a mud puddle. He asked them to stomp4） in the mud until their feet were covered. Then he brought them back to the house. One by one， he carried them inside and held them upside down so their muddy feet could touch the ceiling. Then he had them "walk" across the ceiling， creating a trail of brown footprints. Sarah reportedly took the prank with good humor—but she did make Lincoln repaint the ceiling.

亞伯拉罕·林肯小時候在家里可是十分愛捉弄人的。他的繼母薩拉·布什·林肯常常拿他的身高開玩笑，說他最好保持頭發干凈，否則她就得擦洗家里的天花板了。據說有一天薩拉外出時，阿貝（編注：亞伯拉罕的簡稱）看見兩個小男孩光著腳在外面的泥塘旁邊玩耍。他叫他們在泥里使勁跺腳，讓腳上沾滿泥，然后把他們帶回了家。他把他們逐個抱進屋，頭朝下舉起來，好讓他們的泥腳丫能碰著天花板。接著，他舉著他們在天花板上“走”了一圈，留下一串棕色的腳印。據說薩拉對這個惡作劇表現得很大度，不過她還是讓林肯把天花板重新粉刷了一遍。

Franklin D. Roosevelt 富蘭克林·D·羅斯福

Franklin D. Roosevelt is another president who got an early start pulling pranks. Young Franklin was looked after by a doting5） mother and a series of nurses， governesses6）， and tutors. When he was ten， a German-speaking nurse accompanied the family on their annual tour of Europe and became the inevitable victim of a prank. Franklin snuck into her room during the day and poured a few spoonfuls of effervescent7） powder in the chamber pot8） under her bed. That night， when the nurse relieved herself9）， the contents of the pot began to hiss and roil. Thinking she was ill， the nurse ran to Mrs. Roosevelt's room for help. Roosevelt later said that the two women never figured out it was a prank—but his father did. The senior Roosevelt summoned his son to the smoking room to be reprimanded10）， but he couldn't keep a straight face11）. Breaking into laughter， he told his son， "Consider yourself spanked12）."

富蘭克林·D·羅斯福也是位從小就愛搞惡作劇的總統。羅斯福小的時候，照顧他的除了十分寵愛他的母親，還有一群女護工、保姆和家庭教師。羅斯福十歲時，一個說德語的女護工跟隨羅斯福一家踏上了一年一度的歐洲之旅，從而不可避免地成了他捉弄的對象。有一天，羅斯福在白天偷偷溜進那個女護工的房間，往她床下的便盆里倒了幾勺泡騰散。當天夜里，女護工起床方便后，便盆里的東西就開始嘶嘶冒泡。女護工以為自己生病了，趕忙跑到羅斯福夫人的房間求助。羅斯福后來說，那兩位女士一直都沒發現那是個惡作劇——不過他的父親看出來了。老羅斯福把兒子叫到吸煙室，準備訓斥一頓，但又無法板起臉。他忍不住笑著對兒子說：“就當我已經教訓過你了。”endprint

Willie Morris 威利·莫里斯

Mississippi native Willie Morris was the editor of Harper's Magazine13） during the 1960s and later wrote a series of bestselling memoirs. He had deep affection for pets and practical jokes， and he managed to combine the two in an ingenious14） prank he pulled when he was 13.

In the 1940s， it was common for kids in Morris's hometown of Yazoo City to start driving the family car at 13. When Morris took his parents' DeSoto for a spin， he would always bring his dog Skip along for the ride. One day， when they got to the edge of town， Morris got Skip to prop himself against the steering wheel so Skip was peering through the windshield. Then Morris slowed down and crouched out of sight under the dashboard15）. He guided the steering wheel with his right hand while Skip kept it steady with his paws. As they passed a café， a man shouted， "A dog！ A dog driving！" and rapidly fell off his chair. One Sunday， Morris got an even better reaction. As he approached a rural church， he noticed that a revival16） meeting was letting out. He pulled over， put Skip behind the wheel， and continued up the road. As they neared the church， a woman exclaimed， "Is that a dog driving that car？" Suddenly the lively crowd of parishioners17） went dead silent. It was a hush18） Morris never forgot. "It was as if the very spectacle of Old Skip driving that green DeSoto were inscrutable19），" he later wrote.

密西西比州的威利·莫里斯在20世紀60年代曾是《哈潑斯雜志》的編輯，后來又創作了一系列暢銷的回憶錄（編注：如《我的小狗斯基普》）。他非常喜歡寵物，也喜歡搞惡作劇。13歲時，他將這二者結合起來，上演了一出絕妙的惡作劇。

20世紀40年代，在莫里斯的家鄉亞祖城，孩子們13歲就開始開家里的車是一件很平常的事。每當莫里斯開著父母的德索托牌汽車出去兜風時，他總是會帶上自己的愛犬斯基普。一天，當莫里斯開車來到鎮子邊上時，他把斯基普架在方向盤上，如此一來，斯基普便一直透過擋風玻璃朝外面看。然后莫里斯減速慢行，把身子蜷縮在儀表板下面不讓人看見。他用右手操縱方向盤，而斯基普則用爪子把方向盤扶穩。當他們經過一家咖啡館時，一個人大叫道：“一只狗！一只狗在開車！”然后猛地從椅子上摔了下來。一個星期天，莫里斯的這種惡作劇引起了更大的反響。他開車經過郊區的一座教堂時，恰逢參加奮興布道會的人們散場出來。他將車停在路邊，讓斯基普扶著方向盤，然后繼續向前開。當車駛近教堂時，一個婦人喊道：“那是只狗在開車嗎？”原本有說有笑的教區居民霎時間變得一片死寂。那種寂靜讓莫里斯永生難忘。他后來寫道：“仿佛老伙計斯基普駕駛那輛綠色德索托汽車的奇觀神秘莫測得不得了。”

Steve Wozniak

史蒂夫·沃茲尼亞克

Apple's other cofounder， Steve Wozniak， gravitated20） towards high-tech pranks. During his first year in college， he built a pocket-sized circuit that could jam TV signals. He would take it to a dorm room where a group of people were watching TV and secretly activate the device. The TV screen would go fuzzy21）， and Wozniak would wait for someone to get up and hold the rabbit-ear antenna22） at a certain angle in an effort to improve reception. Once the person was in a sufficiently awkward position， perhaps with his or her hand in front of the screen， Wozniak would deactivate the device and the picture would clear up. As soon as the person sat back down， Wozniak would jam the signal again. He would continue until everyone in the room insisted that the person stand holding the antenna for the rest of the show.endprint

蘋果公司的另一位共同創始人史蒂夫·沃茲尼亞克更傾向于利用高科技搞惡作劇。大一時，他制作了一個可以干擾電視信號的袖珍電路。他會帶著它來到某間開著電視的宿舍，趁大家都在看電視的時候偷偷啟動這個裝置。這樣，電視屏幕就會變得模糊不清。沃茲尼亞克會等著某個人起身去把電視機上的兔耳天線擺到某個角度來讓電視信號好些。一旦那個人的姿勢足夠別扭——也許正在把手伸到電視屏幕前邊——沃茲尼亞克就會關閉干擾器，電視畫面隨即恢復清晰。可只要那個人一坐回去，沃茲尼亞克又會再次打開干擾器。他會這樣反復幾次，直到全屋的人一致要求那個人在節目結束前一直站在那里用手扶著天線，他才會罷手。

1 prank [pr??k] n. 胡鬧，惡作劇

2 prankster [?pr??kst?（r）] n. 惡作劇者

3 scrub [skr?b] vt. 用力擦洗；擦掉

4 stomp [st?mp] vi. 跺腳；重踩

5. doting [?d??t??] adj. 溺愛的，偏愛的

6. governess [?ɡ?v?n?s] n. （尤指舊時的）家庭女教師；保姆

7. effervescent [?ef??vesnt] adj. 【化】泡騰的

8. chamber pot： 便盆；夜壺

9. relieve oneself： 排泄，方便

10. reprimand [?repr?mɑ?nd] vt. 訓斥，斥責

11. keep a straight face： 板著面孔

12. spank [sp??k] vt. 嚴厲斥責

13. Harper's Magazine： 《哈潑斯雜志》，是一本帶有美國進步人士及左派立場的月刊，涵蓋了文學、政治、文化、藝術等諸多方面。

14. ingenious [?n?d?i?ni?s] adj. （方法等）巧妙的

15. dashboard [?d??b??d] n. （汽車等上的）儀表板

16. revival [r??va?vl] n. 【宗】奮興會，奮興布道會。奮興會是基督教會舉辦的一系列活動，旨在使信徒的信仰得到奮興或是讓人們獲得新的宗教信仰。

17. parishioner [p??r???n?（r）] n. 堂區居民（尤指經常參加本區教堂禮拜者）

18. hush [h??] n. 寂靜；安靜

19. inscrutable

[?n?skru?t?bl] adj. 神秘莫測的，不可思議的

20. gravitate [?ɡr?v?te?t] vi. 受吸引；移向（toward）

21. fuzzy [?f?zi] adj. 模糊的，不清楚的

22. antenna [?n?ten?] n. <美>天線endprint